The No Hard Feelings Paradox: The Struggle to Let Go!!!

I wanted to kill a person. Figuratively of course!!!
The hurt pain and emotions were all on their High and I felt anger like never before.
I just wished him dead I guess but I wanted a solution.
Complex human emotions made it worse. I wanted to follow the idea of “no hard feelings” but I found it so difficult to navigate. On the surface, letting go of grudges and moving on without bitterness appears to be a worthy endeavour. The truth, however, was far trickier and more challenging.

“No hard feelings” implies that we can let go of unpleasant feelings, setbacks, and complaints, relieving ourselves of a load of resentment. It entails the capacity for pardon and forgetfulness as well as the duty to prevent the effects of the past from tainting the present or the future.
No matter how good the idea of “no hard feelings” is, putting it into practice is frequently simpler said than done. My default response to being harmed or deceived is anger, despair, or betrayal for most humans it’s the same. These emotions have a way of staying in our hearts and minds. The “no hard feelings” state is therefore difficult to achieve.
For me, it was almost impossible.
I read and listened. I honestly never understood how was it so simple. The paper castle of no grudges and letting go, I couldn’t build it.
Am I built differently? Why couldn’t I do that? Will I ever be able to? Can I eventually be amicable with him?
So many questions and I wanted answers.
I started talking to people and everyone had the same thing to say !!!So here’s me giving you my version of no hard feelings.

We face challenges as we battle the anguish that has been inflicted on us in the early phases of trying to escape. 

Avoiding uncomfortable emotions might result in downward spirals of resentment and sadness. We could initially need to travel in the past, repeat traumatic experiences, and feel intense emotions. With continual ups and downs, it can resemble an emotional roller coaster. Pain manifests itself in unexpected ways, making us doubt our capacity to actually advance.
We can find it difficult to comprehend emotions at this moment. By attempting to let go too quickly or by not giving the grief we are feeling enough weight, we might question whether we are failing ourselves. This internal struggle can strengthen our resentment and deepen the cycle of sadness.


We may eventually achieve a degree of emotional detachment rather than genuine “no hard” states as time goes on and we gradually digest our feelings. This distance is more of a defence mechanism than a sign of healing. This occurs when we stop feeling emotions and defend ourselves against more injury.
It’s crucial to know that emotional detachment does not equal meaningful resolution or emotional progress, despite the fact that it may offer momentary respite. Instead, it might be a sign of emotional restraint or a reluctance to confront suffering. Acknowledging the hurt, comprehending its ramifications, and actively striving towards genuine forgiveness and development are all necessary for meaningful healing.

Hard feelings are unavoidably difficult to achieve. It necessitates reflection, self-worth, and a readiness to confront past wrongs. Cycles may be present in the process of sadness, bitterness and even emotional withdrawal. However, it is important to remember that emotional detachment is not a substitute for true determination and healing.
Understanding our feelings, allowing ourselves to grieve, and working towards forgiveness are all important steps in avoiding unpleasant emotions. It is an adventure in self-knowledge, development, and acceptance. Keeping these things in mind

When find comfort in genuine healing, we might expect to negotiate the intricacies of human emotion.
Even if it can be challenging to fully realise the goal of no resentment, making a commitment to comprehending and managing our emotions paves the way for a more fruitful and genuine existence.


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8 thoughts on “The No Hard Feelings Paradox: The Struggle to Let Go!!!”

  1. You inspired me to start my voice memos today… it’s along these same lines but on the other end… where kindness is forgotten due to anger, hurt and haste stirred from the two causing us to sometimes harm another person. Although if choosing not to do so physically- verbally can translate into spiritual deaths. (Yanno- “good vibes gone bad” when we’re mean to people that did or did not cause our pain) thank you for sharing! So much! Impeccable encouragement was granted on my end. Keep writing ❣️

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