Tag Archives: relationship

Breaking the Narrative: How to Recognise and Rewrite Your Role as the Villain in Your Life Story



I was a quiet kid, and then my amazing best friend came along in school. She pushed me to go outside of my box so the world could see the fireball that I was. The adrenaline rush that I got from speaking, debate, quizzes still gives me goosebumps. I won trophies, and the world saw me as a smart, sarcastic, and even some said intellectual person. Everything was picture-perfect, and then I stopped.

Why? I got overwhelmed.

I went inside my shell and only let a few people inside my brain.

I could paint a thousand villains for making me feel all this, but more so, somewhere along the line, I knew it was me.

Yeah, you read it right; I am the anti-hero of my story.

Quite the dramatic intro, isn’t it?




Recently, I read the poem ” I am a Screw-Up” by Tanmay. This series of thoughts came after that. and this deserves all the attention.

(P.S. This isn’t a pity party post; it’s my villain arc story.)

Each of us possesses a life story that influences how we see ourselves and the world. However, at times, this narrative can portray us as the antagonist, imposing limitations on our potential and hindering personal development.

It took me a lot of time to see that I am the writer, and we possess the ability to identify and modify this narrative, thereby transforming ourselves into the protagonists of our tales.

Does it happen overnight? No,

It’s a slow and gradual process.

Most days you wake up as a hero, and other days you wake up as a villain.

And if you ask me honestly, once in a while, it’s good to be the villain of your story because it gives you a perspective that you don’t tend to see. But there’s a very fine line, and that’s difficult to maintain as it can often turn to self-loathing and be detrimental to our mental health. Following is a list that helped me liberate myself from the constraints of self-perception, how I identified detrimental patterns and my slow, gradual steps to rewriting my story.

Is it an exhaustive list? No.

Do you, I say!

1. Self-Reflection

When the stack of self-help books kept chanting self-reflection, I never got the hype around it. Until I started journaling. I never did anything fancy or used the prompts in the books. Are they wrong? No, but it wouldn’t have worked for me.

So I just sat down with paper and pen and started writing.

Honestly, it felt weird because I’m used to typing on a laptop, but this felt more personal and even borderline invasive.

Words became sentences, sentences became paragraphs, and eventually, it was all soaked in tears.

Was it easy? No, and yes.

It requires introspection and a willingness to examine thoughts, emotions, and behaviours that contribute to self-perception.

Did it help? Yes

This process helped me gain awareness and understanding of the patterns that kept me stuck in the role of the villain. It’s very important to be in your safe space so that you can explore your past experiences, beliefs, and actions. And then ask these questions:

What events or experiences led me to believe I was the villain in my story?

How have these beliefs influenced my actions and relationships?

These questions and thoughts helped me uncover deeply ingrained beliefs and assumptions that had shaped my self-perception.




Challenging Limiting Beliefs

As kids, we used to question everything and nothing. Now we don’t.

When did we limit ourselves? Why did we?

Somewhere along the line, all the questions lead to the same answer: deep-rooted limiting beliefs.

I started to question their origin. In my story, it was instilled in me by others and developed as a defence mechanism to cope. I knew I had to wake up and challenge myself. So I started asking these questions: It’s crucial to identify these beliefs and challenge them.

The beliefs that were limiting me

Are they based on evidence or assumptions? Are they still relevant and helpful in my life?

I started gathering pieces of evidence, and I sought out positive feedback and validation from trusted individuals to provide me with a different perspective.

I gradually started replacing the limiting beliefs with empowering ones that reflect me and help identify me with my full and true potential.

Taking responsibility and accountability

I knew words could only help me to some extent; actions had to be followed up
I had to take accountability,

Acknowledge my mistakes and take responsibility for my actions. I didn’t want to hold grudges anymore. I didn’t want to torment myself anymore in the cycle of victimhood. Instead, I want to own up to being me, and even if it’s an imperfect mess, I will still be happy.

Reflecting on the times when I may have acted in ways that were not aligned with my values Taking responsibility for the consequences of my actions without dwelling on guilt or self-blame Recognising that making mistakes is part of being human and that it is through mistakes that we learn and grow

I think when I started embracing accountability, I empowered myself to make different choices moving forward. Learning from my past actions, committing to making amends if necessary, and striving to act in ways that align with the hero I want to become Or at least for the version that I want to be.




Empathy and Compassion: Transforming Relationships

Breaking the villainous narrative goes beyond self-reflection; it also involves transforming our relationships with others.

Why don’t we talk about empathy?

Society wants us to be hard and driven but forgets that being humane isn’t being weak.

It’s important to understand that everyone has their struggles and motivations, which may have influenced their actions in the past.

Recognising that actions may have been influenced by circumstances, insecurities, or past traumas .Extending this understanding to others as well, allowing space for forgiveness and healing.


Cultivating open and honest communication with the people in my life was very life-changing for me.I am still learning

It wasn’t and isn’t easy. I’m taking small, gradual steps every day.

Embracing change and growth

I hate change. I am inflexible like that. But lately, I have been liking change. It helped me grow. Stepping out of my comfort zone helped me enjoy my own company.

This list sounds very fancy, right? But there was nothing fancy about it! It wasn’t aesthetically pleasing; some days it was hard, some days manageable.

Why did I do all this? Somewhere, I wanted to become the catalyst of my story.

To rewrite my role as the villain in my life story, I wanted to create a new narrative that empowers and uplifts me.

I started visualising it and made a movie out of it in my head with lots of BGM.

Recognising and rewriting the narrative that casts us as the villains in our life stories is a transformative journey. It requires self-reflection, challenging limiting beliefs, taking responsibility, cultivating empathy and compassion, embracing change and growth, and creating a new narrative that empowers us as the heroes of our own stories.

Is this the end of my TED talk? I guess so.

Honestly, I am not telling or preaching that I am completely out of my villain arc era! No.

A big fat No.

But I have also understood that this process is not linear and may require ongoing effort and commitment. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the grace to make mistakes along the way. Being kind is important.

I believe By breaking free from the constraints of self-perception, we can embrace our true potential, forge meaningful connections, and live a life filled with purpose and fulfilment. It’s time to rewrite our story and become the hero we were always meant to be. Trust in your ability to create a narrative that reflects your strength, resilience, and capacity for growth. The power to shape your story lies within you.

Because you, my love, deserve so much more!So go be the hero !!!!!!. Till then sending you lots of hugs, love and positivity!!!!!


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Chocolate – Chocoholic delight!!!

(A poem on chocolate by a Chocoholic)



Oh, chocolate, a delectable and heavenly delight,
An exquisite pleasure, a sensation that’s just right.
A treasure to relish, a beauty to admire,
An ecstatic indulgence, a narrative to inspire.

From the cocoa beans to the delightful melt,
A voyage of tastes, an exploration deeply felt.
With every bite, a burst of pure delight,
An immersive encounter, impossible to slight.

Whether it’s dark, milk, or white, a wide array,
A palette of richness, smoothness on display.
From truffles to bars, an extensive range,
A chocolate world, beyond any exchange.

Oh, chocolate, how you gratify our senses,
A source of comfort, relieving life’s stresses.
A mood enhancer, a wellspring of glee,
A blissful confection, setting our spirits free.

In cakes and pastries, your distinctive touch,
A decadent topping, a creamy clutch.
In cookies and brownies, a sweet delight,
A lingering flavor, an endless invite.

In hot cocoa or milkshakes, a warming embrace,
A velvety sip, a cozy solace to grace.
In fondue or ganache, a dipping affair,
A shared delight, free from any despair.

Oh, chocolate, you’ve captured our affection,
A cherished indulgence, a divine connection.
In every form, a creation of utmost finesse,
A love affair, an exquisite caress.

So let us relish the essence of your chocolaty taste,
A moment of pure presence, no time to waste.
With each delectable bite, a rendezvous with delight,
A sweet addiction, perfectly aligning day and night.


I have been munching on chocolates left right and centre this week . And then , this poem was born ; Chocolates have always helped me to make my mood Better. The mere mention of it makes my mouth water .The smooth velvety texture is a bundle of joy and a taste of pure happiness. Now , after this write-up,I am craving chocolates again !!!

Do you guys like chocolate tooo??? Has this poem taken you into a nostalgic trip ?? Do comment 👇

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My June TBR: A Journey Through Diverse Worlds




As the summer sun begins to warm the days and the promise of relaxation beckons, I find myself eagerly planning my reading adventures for June. With a diverse collection of books waiting patiently on my shelf, I’m excited to delve into a wide range of genres, explore new perspectives, and immerse myself in captivating narratives. Join me as I unveil my June To-Be-Read (TBR) list and share my thoughts on the books that will accompany me on this literary journey.

Am I being too ambitious? Maybe, but I am on my reading mood recently and I want to hit my target of 100 books this year ;

House swap by Rebecca fleet 

A house swap becomes the eerie backdrop to a crumbling marriage, a long-buried affair, and the fatal consequences that unfold after a house swap. I think it fits in the mystery genre !! Let’s hope it gets me swapped!!

India from Curzon to Nehru and After by Durga Das

I have always been a fan of Indian political history and so, I decided to delve into this deeper. It has anecdotes and personal insights and it’s termed as a masterpiece by the booktube community. Let’s hope it doesn’t put me to sleep.

The housemaid

This book has been raved in the book community and is also available in the Kindle unlimited free edition. So I thought I would give it a go. They say it’s a mix of The Woman in the Window, The Wife Between Us and The Girl on the Train and that combo makes it way too exciting. I might not put the books down of the reviews 

Good girls bad blood & As good as dead

I read good girl’s Guide to Murder and it was a good read .so I want to finish the series to give a detailed opinion. But I have only heard good things about this series, so I am excited as it’s a murder mystery with a strong female character.

I want to die but I want to eat Tteokbokki

The title is bizarre but the excerpt is very intriguing. It’s part memoir part self-help book, a transcript of her convos with her psychiatrist. To the world she is composed but deep within she is broken, helpless and overwhelmed. This book is like Tteokbokki hot and warm, feeds your soul when you feel you are alone. As a person who has her bad days, I want to get to see it through someone else’s eyes! So yeah, let’s see how it goes

The Ex talk

As the rainy days kick in I know I need romance. So here it is, a second chance romance between two exes and a radio show !!! Let’s hope it’s spicy hot and cheesy adding flair to my life. I don’t want to spoil it too much because then there’s no fun in it!!

This is the list right now that I have in mind, I need to finish these books so I can buy more books. Yes, I have a book addiction but I m not complaining!!!!!!

I might add some books too if I finish these!!

Will keep you updated.

 Hopefully, with this enticing assortment of books, it will accompany me throughout June. I think my TBR is a mix, a promise, and a diverse range of narratives that will transport me to different worlds, challenge my perspectives, and ignite my imagination. From exploring themes of identity and belonging to immersing myself in magical realms and legendary tales, this June TBR represents an exciting journey through literature. I am eagerly anticipating the moments of introspection, escapism, and sheer joy that these books will undoubtedly bring. Here’s to a month of captivating stories and unforgettable experiences!

 Do comment on your June tbr lists !!! Also, add in your recommendations!!How did the month of may go for you guys ???

 


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My yellow,My friend 💛💛

There are good days, and then there are bad days. Days that exhaust you and make you feel at your lowest. Where you beat yourself up and let scars scar. On those days, I crave my yellows to remind myself that I am a yellow too.

What’s yellow, you are thinking?

(This was one of the terms that I learned from my YouTube dictionary as a hashtag.)

Ideally, yellow is a person you love, you label it as the person being your yellow. It’s inspired by the “Yellow” song by Coldplay.

“I swam across

I jumped across for you

Oh, what a thing to do

‘Cause you were all yellow”




But the word has so many layers. Maybe today I m in one of those writing and introspective moods that I am here to put my chaotic thoughts into paper.

My first thought was why did they insinuate it with the colour yellow ??

Is it because it symbolises sunshine? Or warmth or a mixture of both.

Google had no answer and I realised it was open to interpretation.

So for the time being the definition for me right now for yellow is you. You are my yellow.

Because the impact that my yellows had on my life is significant because they made me a better person to be in a better place. So I want to thank them in my way, ie, by writing.

The yellows in my life, the friendships we have, are like vibrant colours that add beauty and purpose to my existence. They are like the indelible stains on my life, stains a reminder of things that I am grateful and lucky to have.

Among the kaleidoscope of friendships, I am blessed to have a friend who embodies being my yellow.

So today, it’s a yellow day, a celebration of being yellow, for having a yellow and the profound impact.

The light of positivity 

 You, my yellow, is a light of positivity, a bundle of joy even when you don’t feel like that. You have ounces of optimism inside you, even when you think you are pessimistic, it shines through you. You help me to find my silver lining and pull me out of my shadows. On the days I beat myself up, you remind me that the sun will rise tomorrow again and with it, new opportunities will come for you and you will find your spark again.

 The warmth of my empathy.

 You, my yellow, have an abundance of empathy. You have an innate ability to understand and share in my joys and sorrows, you being my safe space. Your compassion and no- judgement attitude has bought me comfort and also taught me to be there for others when in need.

 The energy of adventure

 On so many days, I would be just snuck inside my blanket reading, if it wasn’t for you. Your adventurous spirit is honestly contagious and I m not complaining. Exploring uncharted territories, trying out new hobbies, and your zest for life, you have motivated me to step out of my comfort zone.

 The glow of support

 Support is such a small word but it means the world to people. You bring that glow to my life, my support system.

 How can someone provide such unwavering support? You believe in me, even when I don’t, you remind me to stop doing swot analysis and Focus on strengths and opportunities and work on my weaknesses while not being a threat to myself.

 You help me to reach new heights and you are my cheerleader. Yes I do vision you wearing short skirts and carrying pompoms and dancing for me .

 The beauty of authenticity.

 You are unapologetically authentic, and effortlessly flawless in my eyes. And , no one can take that away from you. In the world of Barbie dolls , I am in awe of the person that you are, that sometimes ,i feel like you are A AI clone impersonating human like behaviour , that it scares me . But on most days I m grateful , grateful to see your authentic raw real self. I like honest people. And you top my list .

 Why am I writing this? To celebrate your uniqueness. In a world that encourages conformity, you remind me to let my true colours shine.

 You have your flaws too and I, sometimes, am fueled to murder you ,but you illuminate my soul. You have taught me more lessons than my school textbooks. You are my sunshine. So today let me be yours. I hope I brighten your day because, in the dictionary of life, I m very fortunate to have you as my yellow, my friend and I hopefully will love you forever.

 So, my fellow human being. You are yellow too !! At least my yellow because you bring joy to my life.

 What motivated me to write this?

 This week has been chaotic for me, I am still adjusting and somehow, I didn’t find time to write. 

 Because of so many changes, I have been overwhelmed and I started to overthink. Not a good signnn!!!

 And someone had to remind me that I m a yellow in their life.

 Sometimes the simplest things said in the simple ways open up your heart in so many ways.

 So this is an attempt to do that.

 A simple writeup of me telling that you are yellow to me, to lift you on days when you beat yourself up !!

 I will always be there for you through my writings.

 So hang in there, my yellow 💛

 Love you 3000

 Sending lots of love hugs and positivity

 Poestoryporium 


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My Newsletter

The title says it all !!! I have grown up reading newsletters and blogs !! My email has probably 14,000 mails and probably half of it is newsletters . So ,I have always wanted to start my own newsletter.

Honestly, when I started this blog, I always envisioned myself starting a newsletter after hitting a specific number and on my vision Board I Had predicted it to almost take a year.

But you guys have shown so much love for which I am forever grateful!!

So here we are 2.5 months later, Introducing my baby to the world.

It’s a weekly free newsletter that would be delivered directly to your mail with amazing content recommendations and everything and nothing.

I will spill some tea on my week we chit-chat and build our community, a community of raw unfiltered chaotic beautiful people.!!!

So, it would mean the world to me if you guys subscribe!!!

The first newsletter comes out tomorrow !!!

Thank-you u❤️❤️❤️

“Actions”


In the domain of life’s exalted dreams, where aspirations take flight,
Actions emanate, splashing shades both ruinous and bright.
They speak louder than words, weaving stories untold.
Mighty soldiers, moldable destinies, courageous and bold.

With that effort, the labourer finds his way.
Building Rome, brick by brick, day by day
Each stroke is a sacrament of perseverance’s might.
Transforming perceptions into realities, shining bright

Through actions, artists dance with a dreamy embrace.
Fashioning masterpieces and breathing life into space.
A brush’s stroke, a poet’s verse, melodies that soar,
In each formulation, a sighting of the conscience’s deepest core

A helping hand was extended, a blessing bestowed,
Actions of empathy are the seeds of humanity they sow.
Mending trauma, patching hearts, tranquillizing faith,
These kinetics configure a universe where hope finds its phantom.

But actions, like a double-edged sword, can sway
Their cause and effect are beyond words.
In flashes of anger, decisions made in haste,
Can leave aisles of regret in their vindictive chase.

In words unspoken, in deeds left undone,
Lies the substance of inaction; probabilities are gone.
For time waits for no one; it tick-tocks ceaselessly.
Moments slip through fingers like sand from the sea.

So let us pace with purpose, guided by light.
Let sublime actions be our compass, shining bright.
For in this colossal tapestry of life’s design,
Our actions engrave the legacy we leave behind.

May our evolution be galvanised by compassion’s grace.
May our actions embolden us in every time and space.
For, in the end, it’s through actions that we define,
The essence of our being, our purpose, our sign.


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Nyctophile

With colours so tangy and bright,
Why do i feel there’s no light,
woven in the darkness,
Maybe i am ,
What the society terms me a mess,
The imperfect me by the perfect them,
Like a plant to the stem,
I often wonder,
the game of pretendence,
Isn’t it a blunder,
yet we are in its root,
To criticise and to loot.
The self esteem and love ,
The confidence of being unique,
Yes you r right….
I am a disaster a beautiful disaster
#hope #nyctophile #depression #love #poem #poet #poetry #poetrycommunity


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Questions

It’s like life is teaching me the same lesson.
Different chapters, but always the same question,
Is there something for which to strive for perfection?
Is it okay to be ordinary and not be an exception?
All the questions haunted me, and I stood at an interception.
felt like I was running in circles with no satisfaction.
I was functioning with aggression.
Being suffocated by oppression and depression 
I was seeking an explanation.
“Was I the weapon for my own destruction?”
Felt like amidst recession with no option 
My subconscious played it as a replay of an obsession.
I didn’t realize it was a cry and a call for introspection.

 

After lot of thoughts,conversations and suggestions
I figured something that i would like to mention
There’s no steady set direction ,
Everything is just a perception
Everyone has a different progression
At the end what matters is dedication
Because life is no fiction , 
Everything is a demonstration with convention
After every downfall, you are worthy of a resurrection
It’s okay to anticipate, exaggerate even question,
As there’s no such thing as salvation,
And this is my confession and realisation 
You are a prized possession , with flavours of complexion
Find your connection, empathise with your question
As you should admire your reflection.
 


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Shadows

I have always lived in the shadows,
Not on the pedestal not on meadows,
Hiding from the spotlight, wherever the light goes,
Pulling down the shutters on my windows,
I crucified my tomorrow not believing in magical rainbows,
Because I knew , as tomorrow comes , my darkness grows.

Being alone , with so many unknowns ,
Amidst friends and foes,
Looking at Instagram perfect lives,
Emotions and dreams buried under catacombs,

While my nightmare clings on to me like shadows.
I tried coming out of the shadows ,
yet I felt I was stranded on fallows.
I tried to be someone else , as the author plotted,
Only to be feeling destroyed and haunted.

Fairytales kept reminding me of treasures,
Yet all I could see was an imperfect mess,
Trying to fit in with sleeves of confidence and glow in a dress,

Trying to bloom and stand affirm on my toes with my clothes
Nothing as compared to the spectators on first rows.

We were taught to be princesses not to be shadows,
But I defied the rules , as I was a hot mess,
A consistently inconsistent work in progress .

It took me long to accept me as no less
here in shadows to feel solace in anonymity
Living life with no reservations
For my name would be forgotten someday
Yet I was completely okay to be not okay.

To not be tortured with endless explanations
And expectations,
As I will , probably and mostly be lost in the shadows
Yet I would breathe be happy for being me in a shadow
Being a silhouette, beautiful in an unspoken way
As I peak in from shadows as i m here to stay.


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Book review – Ugly love

Ugly Love is a contemporary romance that follows the story of Tate Collins and Miles Archer. Tate has just moved to San Francisco to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse, while Miles is a pilot haunted by his past. They meet when Tate moves in with her brother, who is also Miles’ neighbor. Despite their initial attraction to each other, Miles refuses to allow himself love again, and they enter into a “friends with benefits” arrangement.
The story is told from the perspectives of both Tate and Miles, alternating between their present-day interactions and flashbacks from Miles’ past. This form gives a deeper understanding of the characters and their motivations, making their struggles easier.
Hoover’s writing is engaging and emotional, drawing the reader into the story and making them care about the characters. She deals with difficult subjects such as loss, grief and trauma with sensitivity and realism, making the experiences of the characters real.
Overall, Ugly Love is a compelling and moving romantic novel that explores the complexities of human relationships and the healing power of love. It is a moving and emotional read that will stay with you long after you finish reading. I recommend it to anyone who likes contemporary romance novels.

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