Tag Archives: poems

8 Haikus: My Liberation In Books

1
Classic tales of yore,
In books, we can explore,
Timeless wisdom’s store.

2
Words like whispered dreams,
In books, reality gleams,
Life’s complex schemes.

3
From cover to close,
A story’s journey it shows,
In words, the heart glows.

4
Mysteries concealed,
In the pages, truths revealed,
In books, we are healed.

5
Language’s sweet art,
In books, we find every part,
Of the human heart.

6
Each chapter’s new start,
In the library, we depart,
To worlds set apart.

7
Through the writer’s view,
In books, we’re born anew,
Each page, a world to pursue.

8
At day’s quiet end,
In books, our minds transcend,
Time, we comprehend.

In libraries vast,
Silent stories, memories cast,
A future and a past.

10
Fiction’s sweet refrain,
Characters dance in the brain,
In books, we remain.

11
History’s embrace,
In the volumes, we can trace,
Humanity’s face.

12
Verse and prose unite,
In the bound words, we find light,
Day turns into night.

13
Shelf upon shelf, bound,
In books, wisdom is found,
Worlds without a bound.

14
Turn a page and find,
A new world, a different mind,
In books, we’re entwined.

15
Ancient scrolls and more,
Books are windows to explore,
Knowledge to implore.

16
Fantasy unfurls,
In tales of knights and ancient worlds,
Adventure calls.


Okkk , now I am obsessed with haikus !!!

I almost wrote 30 haikus in a dayyyy

Can you believe that !!!

On this note tell me your favourite haikus too!!!

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But I would really love and appreciate all your support!!!!

See you next time

Haiku – AIR

Here are some haikus in which I emphasised on the word “air”:

1.
In the morning air,
Fresh and crisp without a care,
Nature’s grace is so rare.

2.
High up in the air,
Birds in flight, a graceful pair,
Freedom fills the dare.

3.
Balloons in the air,
Colours soaring, light as prayer,
Joy beyond compare.

4.
Whispers on the air,
Secrets shared, a bond to bear,
Trust beyond compare.

5.
Kites dance in the air,
Strings of joy, laughter to spare,
Childhood memories there.

6.
Sailboats on the air,
Breezes guide, waves rise and flare,
Adventures declare.

7.
Mist hangs in the air,
Veiling landscapes everywhere,
Mystery to share.

8.
Wind in the night air,
Sings a lullaby with care,
Dreams float everywhere.

9.
The scent of flowers in the air,
Blossoms sweet, beyond compare,
Perfume to declare.

10.
Rainbows in the air,
Colours arc, a vivid glare,
Nature loves to wear.

11.
Breezes kiss the air,
Leaves in dance, a tender pair,
Autumn’s love to bear.

12.
Waves crash in the air,
Ocean’s power, grand and rare,
Nature’s force laid bare.

13.
Fireflies in the air,
Glowing stars with grace to spare,
Summer’s magic, where?

14.
Hopes float in the air,
Dreams aloft, free as a dare,
Future’s canvas, wear.

15.
Whispers on the air,
Secrets shared, love’s sweet affair,
Heartbeats, love’s heartbeat.

16.
Birdsong fills the air,
Morning’s chorus, bright and clear,
Nature’s gift to share.

17.
Mist veils in the air,
Morning’s soft and tender prayer,
Day’s beauty laid bare.

18.
Dandelions in the air,
Seeds of wishes hope to bear,
Nature’s dreams declare.

19.
Stars twinkle in the air,
Cosmic wonders, beyond compare,
Night’s grandeur, we stare.

20.
Balloons in the air,
Upward bound, lighter than air,
Celebration’s flair.

21.
Snowflakes in the air,
Blanket of white, pristine and fair,
Winter’s frosty care.

22.
Leaves whirl through the air,
Autumn’s palette, colours rare,
Nature’s art to wear.

23.
Thunder rumbles in the air,
Storm’s fury, a wild affair,
Nature’s power there.

24.
Sunrise paints the air,
Golden hues, a day’s first glare,
Morning’s light to share.

25.
Love is in the air,
Hearts entwined, beyond compare,
Eternal, a pair.


So , comment down 👇 your haikus using the word air and we can create a chain I guess !!!!

Thankuu for sticking with me guys !!!

You have no idea how important you guys are to me

Sending you lots of love !!!!


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Continue reading Haiku – AIR

My Struggle With Declining WordPress Views



Hello, fellow bloggers! I hope you are doing better than me. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride for me lately, and I just needed to express my frustration about the declining views on my WordPress blog. So, let’s get personal and dive into my blogging journey.

You know, there was a time when my blog was flourishing. I started publishing, and within a few hours the notifications started coming in. I felt like I was on top of the world, and my confidence soared. But now, it is a different story. That information has become elusive, and I’m left wondering if I’m doing something terribly wrong.

First, let me address the elephant in the room: Is it just me, or has blogging lost its allure? Well, maybe it’s a little bit of both. The digital landscape has evolved very rapidly, and it’s not the same as it was when I started. Competition is fierce, and readers’ attention spans have greatly shortened. It’s like trying to stand out in a crowded room where everyone is shouting.

I’ve tried everything I could think of. I’ve changed up my posting schedule, experimented with different content, and even dabbled in SEO. It seemed to work for a while, but then, it all went haywire again. It’s like playing a never-ending game of trial and error, and it’s seriously frustrating.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. In the blogging community, there is a sense of solidarity in our struggles. I have talked to other bloggers and many of them are facing the same problem. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone, but it’s also frustrating to see so many talented writers struggling to make their voices heard.

What makes it even more confusing is that there doesn’t seem to be any straightforward solution. It’s like trying to crack a code that keeps changing. What worked last year may not work today. To say the least, it’s making me feel ignorant and frustrated.

But despite all the challenges, there is something about blogging that keeps drawing me back. Perhaps it’s the thrill of connecting with readers, the joy of expressing your ideas, or the satisfaction of seeing your ideas come to life on screen. It’s a passion that’s hard to give up, no matter how frustrating it may be.

So, as I embark on this tumultuous journey of blogging with sinking thoughts, I can’t help but wonder if there’s a silver lining waiting for me. Maybe it’s about embracing changes, finding new ways to engage your audience, and never giving up. After all, it’s not just about the numbers; It’s about the love of writing and sharing your thoughts with the world.

In the end, I may be clueless and frustrated, but I’m not ready to give up just yet. Blogging may have lost some of its allure, and the struggle is real, but it’s a passion that runs deep. And who knows, maybe one day, I’ll crack the code, and those visions will start coming again. Until then, I’ll keep typing, hoping for that defining moment. Dear readers, thank you for being a part of my journey and giving me personal insight into my WordPress problems.

Are you guys facing the same issue??

Do tell me !!!

Poem on Confidence ( Day 1 of 30 day writing challenge)


In a world attracted by beauty ,glory and grace.
I sing a prose , not for my face ,but confidence
In verses ,I shall express this interesting stance, .

Years of social values, strict laws
My experience of the world was filled with arrogance and defiance,
We are trained to seek a path bathed in brilliance.
With resilience and competence as our guide,
Yet ,all this time we hugged ignorance, side by side.

With trials and compliance, we did find our way,
Still we lose a part that holds us sway.
In this dance of perfection we attempt to find our elegance,
Yet never Embracing existence, with eloquence.

So this prose is for us , for me and you
A sign to embrace quirks ,issues and grace ,
With assurance, we’ll rise above the whispers of nuisance,
Toward a place of peace and abundance.
In the realm of confidence, we take a stance,
Where mistakes are acceptable and not enhanced


Though those whispers of malevolence may try to impede,
Our confidence is what we need.
With benevolence and perseverance, we’ll face,
The beauty of life’s magnificence, exorbitant and free.

In the end, it’s our confidence that shines,
Guiding us through all the signs and lanes
With empathy and grace, we’ll commence.

For us to light the lamp of love ,
Together we will be able to light the stage ,
Hope this poem gives you confidence .
Remember, dear friend, confidence is what we send.
Strengthen thy self, to never let life let you mend.


So ,it’s officially day 1 of the writing challenge and I wanted to share something that I have often dealt with . Lack of confidence.

I always doubted myself more than I should and never gave myself due credit where I deserved.

So this is a poem for me and you , signifying that the world needs confidence more than what we think and to not let the whispers of the society to dim your light !!!!!

In case you want to be a part of the writing challenge , I will link the blog below !!!

Do comment your writings so I can repost the same !!!!


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Changes in Spring

In the gentle, warm embrace of spring, .
It sparked a new life, a strange pursuit.
Flowers burst in a riot of colors, .
When nature wakes up from hibernation.

The sun goes up, the days grow longer,
We are all part of this rhythm of renewal.
The flowers burst in delicate grace, .
A moment of hope, a sticky embrace.

Robin’s song fills the morning air, .
A desire for happiness, unmatched.
The fields are grass and lush green, .
Beauty everywhere, a must-see.

Leaves begin to sprout from the bare trees, .
A whisper of life, no doubt.
The floral scent is sweet and very gentle.
As nature designs and harmonizes landscapes.

The bees dance in the gentle breeze, .
Between flowers and leaves, not so hard.
The bees gather pollen and sing,
Everything in this world in reincarnation has passed away.

The rivers are crystal clear.
The essence of life flows, without fear.
Animals wake up from hibernation, .
They are blessed with spring renewal.

Children laugh and play in the sun,
Their happy, harmonious voices.
As the winter hold strength provides the grip, .
A new chapter of life begins to unfold.

So, embrace this moment, pure and divine, .
A valuable sign of nature’s renewal.
hope, change, the infinite art of life, .
The beauty of spring always warms the heart.


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Unveiling the Remarkable Journey of Poestory Porium: A Rollercoaster Ride from 0 to 717 Subscribers

It’s been an adventurous ride, hasn’t it? Six months ago, I launched into this journey known as Poestory Porium, not knowing where it would lead. Today, as I look back on the 37 posts, 3000 likes, 736 comments and a developing family of 717 subscribers, I can’t describe how I feel, I am eternally grateful for each one of you who has been a part of this enlightening experience.
It has been a journey, a journey of highs and lows, a journey of scribbling down my thoughts and venting out, dealing with hate and getting overwhelmed with love, doubting myself to having people to turn back to and everything in between.

Initially, I used to do those month-to-month target blogs, setting goals and milestones for myself. But sooner or later, I stopped. It felt like I changed into being pretentious, focusing more on numbers than the genuine connection and love I received from you, my readers.

However, as I approach this 6-month anniversary, it deserves a pause and I guess a pat on my back I also need to take a second to celebrate not just the numbers, but the human beings behind them—, you guys! You’ve been my consistent guide, my cheerleader, and my core strength to keep going. For those who’ve been here on account from the start, you’ve witnessed the evolution of Poestory Porium, and for that, I’m without a doubt thankful.

This journey was anything but eventful and it opened a lot of doors, some to amazing people, others to vengeful hatred.
But that’s where you learn, learn to pick yourself up, brush aside your fears and pick up the sword, in this case, your pen.
Some days it became too much but I focused on the good side and I strived I guess and here I am !!!!
I should probably write an ebook. What say?

We are diverting again !! My numbers on the outside look phenomenal but if you scrutinize my views, they have not grown as explosively as they did in the early months.  Why you would ask? Burnout. Am I angry or disturbed? Hell no. I am happy with my blog. Life occurs, and I wanted a break. For nearly two months, I rarely published anything. But I want you to know that I’m back again, and I’m right here to stay. Your unwavering aid is what fuels my ardour for writing and sharing with the beautiful community.
Why am I telling you this? Burnout is real and I don’t want to write for the sake of views because they wouldn’t reach your hearts.
So it’s okay to play the long game, it’s okay to take a pause and it’s okay to not grow exponentially. It took me some time to realise baby steps matter and we take one day at a time.


What’s my favourite piece you would ask??
There are quite a few!!

[Goodbye, My Crush]

(https://poestoryporium.blog/goodbye-my-crush/);

A heartfelt imaginery poem where I said good-bye to a crush , it felt good to write via imagination and develop characters accordingly.
It’s one of my favourite poems

[Has reading lost it’s  Charm ](https://poestoryporium.blog/has-reading-lost-its-charm/)
It’s one of my first rant and it’s effortlessly painted how I felt like reading is being forgotten !!
I loved how it turned out ; raw real and unfiltered.

Now the big question? How much did I earn??? I only recently got AdSense approval so not much, but I am happy!!! Poestory Porium isn’t about creating wealth; it’s about doing what I love and optimistically making a little money alongside the manner.
Would I say no to money? Hell no!!
However, if you do want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or share it with your friends!!!! )

So, as I celebrate this 6-month milestone, I need to express my innermost gratitude to every one of you who has supported me. You’ve been here via the highs and lows, and I admire your faith in me and my phrases.

Here’s to many extra months and milestones in advance, as we undertake this journey collectively. Thank you for not giving up on me, and I promise to bring you more heartfelt poems, stories, and musings. Still keeping it as real and raw as it can get !!
Do drop your suggestions in the comment box, I would appreciate it!!

Signing off

With a heartfelt thank you,
Poestoryporium💛💛


In case , you are wondering where to read the previous milestone blogs , i m attaching the links under 0!!!! Do give it a read

– [30 Days, 14 Posts, 279 Fam, 1000 Likes, 6000 Views]

(https://poestoryporium.blog/30-days-14-posts-279-fam-1000-likes6000-views/https://poestoryporium.blog/30-days-14-posts-279-fam-1000-likes6)

[Reflecting on the 60-Day Journey: Celebrating 13268 Views, 1669 Likes, 382 Comments, and 440 Followers]

(https://poestoryporium.blog/reflecting-on-the-60-day-journey-celebrating-13268-views-1669-likes-382-comments-and-440-followers/)


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“Turning Haters into Motivators: My Journey of Rising from Hate”**

I know I was M.I.A from writing and wordpress.Honestly the last month was haunting and filled with pain and loss . I found writing and publishing meaningless because every post I used to post , the hate comments would swirl in .


I agree hate is a reminder that you are growing in your writing journey but it got overwhelming for me

And I stopped writing. But my friends pulled me out of that spiral and I am so grateful that I have such amazing people.

So now I have decided to give the torch to you , just remember your aren’t alone…

Alright, let’s talk real stuff. We’re in this digital jungle, and hate comments? Yeah, they’re like the gnarly thorns in our social media journey. But you know what’s wild? I managed to spin those hate bombs into something kinda beautiful. Buckle up, because I’m about to share my story of how I danced through the storm of negativity and turned those hate comments into my personal boosters.

Was it easyyy??? Hell Nooo

**Facing the Hate Tornado:**
Picture this: your phone buzzes, and you check to find a hate comment. Bam! It’s like getting a slap from the universe. My first hate comment hit like a freight train to the soul. The venomous words made my confidence take a nosedive. Sleep? Nah, it was a VIP ticket to the land of overthinking. But guess what? I wasn’t the only warrior in this battle, and that’s kinda comforting yet equally disturbing.

**Bouncing Back with Resilience:**
So, I had a choice to make. Was I gonna let some keyboard warrior determine my self-worth? Heck no! I decided to rock emotional armor like a boss. I mean, everyone’s entitled to their opinion, even if it’s dipped in bitterness. Coping? Yeah, self-care rituals became my go-to. Meditation? More like daily therapy. Oh, and mentors who’d faced the same crap? They were my Jedi council.

**Fueling Up on Hate (Yeah, Really):**
This might sound insane, but I flipped hate into rocket fuel. I mean, who doesn’t wanna prove haters wrong? Their toxic comments lit a fire under me. I transformed those words into my secret weapon for success. And you know what’s sweet? Seeing them squirm as I crushed my goals. It’s like giving negativity a one-way ticket to oblivion.

**Finding Me in the Rubble:**
It’s nuts, but hate comments can kinda be like a mirror. They show you stuff about yourself you didn’t even know was there. I decided to dive into this chaos and ended up on a self-discovery bender. Yeah, it hurt, diving into my own insecurities, but the result? Uncovered strengths I never saw coming. It’s like hate turned into a personal growth jackpot.

**Unleashing My Inner Crusader:**
Guess what? Hate had a side effect I never saw coming. It sparked a rebellious fire in me. Suddenly, I wasn’t a passive bystander; I became a voice for change. My platform became a fortress against negativity, shining a light on how those toxic comments mess with our heads. Turning the tables? That’s what empowerment feels like.

**My Crew of Survivors:**
In the midst of the chaos, I found a tribe of fellow survivors. They knew the sting, the punch, and the gut-wrenching feeling of hate. Sharing our battle stories was like a lifeline. We formed this band of warriors, united by our scars and stories. Turns out, connecting with others who’ve been through the same mudslide is like finding gold in the wreckage.

**Chasing Rainbows in Thunderstorms:**
Keeping a sunny outlook when surrounded by hate storms was like acrobatics for the soul. But, I figured out the trick: focus on the good stuff. Gratitude? Oh yeah, it became my secret weapon. Genuine followers, the love they shared—it was like anti-hate armor. Mindfulness? It’s like catching rainbows in the middle of a thunderstorm.

**Conclusion:**
So here’s the deal, amigos. Hate comments? They’re like mosquitoes in the summer—annoying, but you don’t have to let them ruin your picnic. My journey through the hate vortex taught me resilience, showed me corners of myself I’d never explored, and turned me into a crusader for positivity. The digital world is a jungle, but you? You’re the king or queen of your jungle. You can flip hate on its head, dance through the storm, and come out stronger on the other side. Embrace the growth, soak in the lessons, and let those haters be your unexpected motivators.


What do you guys think !!!!!????

Comment down below www❤️❤️💙

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Beware

Beware
Of the sun, we must beware
When we are gliding through the air.
Though truly happy,we must beware
For happiness can also scar
Maybe the trick is to be taken by surprise
And lady be wise, 
The way to make you do that final sacrifice
The dream is real for those who dare,
Before we even know it’s there,
There are shadows all around me, telling me to beware
Agitating, craving words
betraying me to the dark
Prisoner of my own fear
Representatives and foul play getting the rear
Sorrow ,grief and despair
They’re choking my air
Yet raise the sights, the city lights are calling
We’re ready tonight, the time is right, There’s nitro in the air
In the street is where we’ll meet,
we’re warming On the beat,
we won’t retreat, beware!!!


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Rear view

Rear view :
Months passed , the loss persists,
Writing helped , but the pain still exists,
Deeply sceptical about love and wrath,
But I’d promised to never lose faith.

Moving in is mutual , I wish moving on was too,
Sleep is easy after a pill or two,
Waking up with that fake smile is constant,
None of which would have happened,if you weren’t so distant.

The sweeping fierceness which my soul betrayed,
The skill with which wielded the keen blade;
The bright world dim, and everything beside
Seemed like the fleeting image of a shade.
Which no thought of living spirit could abide.

I breathe but it’s not air ,
Something else in the wind,
Calm and empty, a rush of silence,
Yet plenty and whole, a vacuum of stillness,
I seem to have been paused
somewhere along the way.

Now it’s time to resume,
Heading towards the start of the play,
No drum rolls, no intros,
Just a smooth shift of state
In, then, out of time,
A second, maybe less ,
Growth, taking up an instant,
Change, stealing away each moment,
Set to sail on the turbulent waves,
Whose effects are none to
the eyes that witness,
To the ears that listen and
to the hands that touch…

Wishing that maybe
Maybe my soul was carried away,
out into the openness,
Beyond the horizon,
Across the marvels of the universe ,
Perhaps even closer to home,
Maybe there’s a world bigger than the world,
A world that never talks,
A world that never betrays.


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Has reading lost its charm ?

Being in the 21st century, where everything is fast-paced, I feel like reading has been forgotten. Especially introspecting my life, I felt reading has lost its path, and what exists now is valorized reading.

Something like reading for the sake of reading

As we jump from one sensation to another, from one controversy to another, with an Instagram filter on our minds, this makes me realize that somewhere along the line I forgot to read and that a lot of other people did too.

We can blame it on our short attention span, but at the end of the day, we all reach out for something easy, short, and instrumental, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it because we live in perpetual amnesia that is triggered by the world being fast and urgent. 

The constant feeling that I will miss out is something that triggers me to take my phone almost every hour, and it’s also something that has triggered a lot of anxiety in these last couple of months.

As I wrote down my thoughts, I figured I had given up on reading and writing somewhere along the line.

And this is an attempt to get back to reading.

If you, my friend, also gave up on reading, you can start again. I’m here to accompany you.

For me, the earliest memories of reading were when I was three and on train journeys. How dad used to get me a magic pot so that I wouldn’t be an annoyance

I am still an annoyance, but my love for books is something that hasn’t left.

Being brought up in a humble household, one of the things that my parents never said no to was books. I used to demand books as presents for every exam I passed. 

I still remember borrowing books from friends and libraries and finishing them in two to three days because I loved the rush.

It came to a point where I was reading Jeffery Archer’s When the Crow Flies instead of my history books before my 10th board exams.

Do I regret it? Noooooo

The rush of having that imagination, the rush of going into a parallel universe where I portray the main character, seeing myself in situations, deciding what I would have done and what I wouldn’t, and complex storylines with spicy images keep playing in my head as a slow-motion movie. Enough that someday I could lend my brain cells to Elon Musk to make an extraordinarily brilliant movie.

All these emotions and memories are something that is beyond description.

Books have led me to a web of my past, present, and future, like an island universe that’s interlinked but not yet linked.

For me, a book does affect me; I feel pangs of grief, motivation, empathy, and all the emotions in between as the character develops. It is a small, intimate space of mine that nobody else has access to—sort of a mysterious realm.

Nothing is linear in life, and as life progresses, one of the things that I gave up was books.

Is there a specific reason? No 

But I kind of discovered recently that one of the reasons why I had given up on reading was the anxiety in choosing a book.

The fear that I would miss out on this year’s nominations, what if it isn’t good, and this eventually felt like a job, not the one I liked, Going through reviews and feeding on people’s opinions got so tedious that for me reading lost its wonder in this process.

I missed picking out random books from shelves, going with my gut, and thinking it might be a hit. Even if it wasn’t, I would at least be able to take something away.

Now, this screams of slobbishness and elitism, but it is what it is: I was consumed by valorized reading, and I started mimicking other people’s choices instead of giving in to what my heart wanted.

Now, why am I writing this? Humans as a whole are very creative animals, and creativity being the buzzword in this digital era, I wanted to start reading again , be soaked in creative juices .

And I have started again, and the feeling is amazing—not bound by social pressures but doing something from a thick desire.

I don’t want to be a person who is limited to WhatsApp archives; I want to go beyond the perfect sentences and let imagination take its toll. And for this reason, books are my comfort space.

Feel sheer joy and delight, feel uncomfortable, have butterflies in your stomach, cry, and feel all the emotions as I turn every page.

I would say you also just need to give a short

I’m not going to preach a lot, but in the end, there’s so much knowledge to consume. Take anything—a newsletter, audiobooks, nonfiction classics—to feed your soul.

To bring calmness into this fast-paced life 

To hold back and embrace emotions and to know yourself better, a book is all you need.

My current read is The ISIS Hostage by Puk Damsgard.

I’m ending this blog with a short poem I wrote on books.

“Now, it’s all being done in the past,

It’s all been written in the book,

and makes you think nothing ever lasts.

Maybe it’s something worth another look.

A string of words floats with fear.

And it encompasses all the emotions in this book.

Nothing is ever black or white.

Nothing comes easy off the hook.

I see people holding on to their past as a book.

Hating themselves more as they look”

If you have read till now, you have discovered my writing is as haphazard as it can get.

And that’s me, all over the place.

So do reach out to me and connect with me so we can share our books and recommendations and get chatty about it.


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Journey


Don’t take it serious; life’s so mysterious.
With aid indifferent and imperious,
Leading to a stroke of mad poetic thoughts to make it confute and curious,
We keep it to ourselves, with nobody else around to make us delirious,
From being confused ,or just being vicious.
Reality an antonym of being luxurious.

Years of learning, still never got it right from the start,
Incurious to the criteria which set that apart
All the little efforts were never too serious
Was termed delirium and oblivious.
On the mic of life, leave that to the experienced they say
Yet dreams reality and illusions just being a gateway
Scars and broken wings were never a full stop,
In the book of life to stand at the top.
The remedy always being the experience
That being the dangerous liaison
For ages a bane or a boon lays upon.

Let the Summer in eyes not turn to winter
Partake as it all transforms to stone.
And let the wounds be a bygone .
As mortal as dreams of our own.


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Dear girl in pyjamas

“A smile on the lips so wide,

yet there is no twinkle in her eyes.

with darkness on her side

and no one to abide. “

I know this was the line in your 4th grade notebook where you wrote “no one.” You used to hide in libraries and indulge in fiction, creating characters and storylines that were sometimes a bit out of the ordinary for a kid. That was the time when your English teacher told you you had a way with words; it boosted your confidence, yet you felt you weren’t like the other kids. You failed to fit in, and that made you terrified. Why am I telling this to you today? To see from my pov to see how far you have come and I am so proud of you. Every time you won, you topped yourself, or someone appreciated you, you couldn’t see what others saw in you. You always strived to be the best when you were already doing well. You only wanted to be the best, but sometimes better is okay and fine. So this monologue is to remind you of the tiny things you fail to notice with respect to all your flaws, which you are obsessed with in terms of improving. I am not saying that it’s wrong, but you need to accept yourself as a total package and not certain versions of you.
 
I know the world sees you with all your imperfections and flaws and is kind of judgmental, but I love the way you are—maybe more than you can imagine. I know that to reach here was difficult and realizing that you are actually worth something has been a long route, but you have made it finally. And I’m so proud of you, bruh. The girl who loves pyjamas and is happy to be stuffed in bed with some thriller novel and a glass of black coffee can be called mundane to the world, but you are happy, and that’s what matters, isn’t it?
The way you care and are ready to bring the world down for the people whom you love is something that is small yet huge. The smile on your face and how your face lights up even with the tiniest compliments is something that catches my eye. The way you play with a street dog or a toddler, or the way you tease your friends, the way you laugh as if you have had an asthma attack, and all those facial expressions when you see the cringeworthy moments, I would say those are tiny bits of you that normal people miss. Maybe your best friend is right: you would never get a boyfriend because you hate cringy stuff, cheesy dialogues, and unnecessary gifts. But it’s okay. I know you believe in understanding, loyalty, and being with them rather than monetary items. You are hardworking and determined. Your ideologies and morals are the foundation on which so many relationships exist. The world sees you as an introvert, but only a few know the real you, and I am proud of you. You are perfect in all your imperfections.
You fail to see what your friends see in you. You are so critical of yourself that you hold yourself to the highest level of accountability, and sometimes you need to let go! Maybe sometimes you don’t need to give your 100%; your 80% is more than enough for the world. Let yourself breathe, and do not confine yourself to the dictionary of life. Don’t go by the book to live your life. The words “success” and “failure” are relative. Give yourself a break too.
You weave words in such a fashion as to form reality, portraying yourself as a wandering soul.
searching in implications, to construct a paradise of your imagination. But amidst all this, you forget that you are human too! I can write about your shortcomings, but I don’t want to, not today. Because today is about celebrating the real you, the one with imperfections and flaws, and accepting you for who you are.
So, my pyjama girl with a grumpy face, you are the best in my eyes and in the eyes of all the people who love you. Certainly you have had bitter experiences, downfalls, and days when you used to binge watch, have a book marathon, or eat like you haven’t eaten in days. But it’s okay; you have come this far, and I am sure you will survive the Rubik’s cube of life.
Your’s lovingly,
The girl who knows you in and out


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Dear uncertainty

Dear uncertainty ,
Strange things can happen when faced with adversity
At this stage , i am looking at you with all urgency,
I wish a superman could have saved that aeroplane,
But thanks to you , it’s forever etched in my memory lane,
The rain god’s took out all their bash
And we took the crash,
And everything happened in such a flash
With 2020 I should have known and expected,
But you my friend , does nothing as I suspected,
And now I have accepted
Us against the universe, and human made disasters,
Covid , Flood , landslides and now a airplane crash ,

Yet i hoped for a tiny bit of Magic,
To change this whole dynamic,
And i as I look around and here I was reconnected,
For Humanity was being resurrected
Yes ,Death and these disasters leave an unbearable pain,
But we fight this together again with no complain
And this my friend is something insane
I know you will come again,
But we will sustain and remain
With lots of love and hugs to you my friend , uncertainty
Thanku for restoring my faith in humanity..

Death


I write poetry with a clear head, and my blogs are potentially written when I am vulnerable.
Now, I guess I am vulnerable and overthinking, so that definitely calls for a blog.
For me, writing as a memory is associated with my mother, because she taught me how to write, and so writing on this topic makes it even more difficult.
It took me a lot of courage to start this blog, and I am exhausted and scared to put myself out there.
The blog was an escape for me. Not to face the real world, I guess?
This whole year was excruciatingly difficult for me.
Because death came knocking on my door and it was to visit my close ones.
I wish I could romanticise death as they do in movies and books, but I can’t!
How do you deal with the anxiety and grief of such complex emotions?
Every time I thought I could pick myself up from the ashes and patch myself up, it came knocking on my door again.
Loosing people isn’t easy; you feel like it gets better every time, but boy, are you wrong.
There’s no standard equation for dealing with death.
There’s no right way to grieve. You eventually have to find peace, and sometimes the memories keep haunting you.

I had made peace with death.
Until I saw it putting claws on my mother,
That honestly scared and scarred me.
Call it a privilege, but I never thought of losing my parents. I always thought they would be there as a constant with me. Even the thought of losing them never entered my head.
And the last couple of months have been a haywire in themselves.
I can’t describe the feeling of sitting outside hospitals, talking to doctors, and having to be an adult when all I want to be is a kid.
But I knew I had to put the mask on, so I moved cities to be closer to my parents and made sure I was there for every hospital visit.
It was frightening; every test result and every diagnosis was nerve-wracking.
The number of experts we saw was insane.
But I had to pretend I was okay because someone had to be strong.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t have bad days, but I knew it would get better some day.
So I held onto that hope.
Hope has an amazing placebo effect; it makes you feel good.
But it also helps you understand what is important.
And I understood that my parents were my number one priority.
Why am I writing this at 2:30 in the night?
Because today we are back home, and my mother is okay, safe but not perfectly healthy, but I am grateful and not complaining.
I feel a lot of emotions, and the past week has been anything but turmoil.
And on those days, I am grateful for the friends I have.
I was a planner all my life, but this experience put things in perspective for me.
Why am I putting this out there? Because if someone reading this now understands the emotions that you are going through, it is pretty normal.
sadness, confusion, anger, weirdness, anxiety, feeling left out and neglected, guilt, and being overwhelmed.
I have been there, and I understand you.
Do I exactly know what you are going through? No, because every person feels it differently, but you aren’t alone.
On one side, I am eternally grateful; on the other, I am anxious too.
But I guess that’s okay.
But I have also noticed we don’t speak enough about these moments.
We don’t let the world see how vulnerable we are as people.
So let’s be compassionate about people and the times that they go through, because nobody knows what they are going through.
I know it’s a dark topic to talk about, and I will probably wake up tomorrow morning and think why did I go dark again , but I want it to be out there !!
But, I also want to celebrate the lessons that I learned through the friends that stayed with me and cheered me up.
Because I would have been a disaster if not for them.
Am I suggesting that this traumatic experience is something extraordinary?
No, because even now when I think about what I went through last month, especially last week, it was traumatising, but it did make me stronger and a bit more mature.
I also don’t know how to conclude on this because I feel like there’s no certain way to end things on topics like these.
You just have to deal with it and figure it out, and even if you do, some days are just hard..

The thoughts keep coming back and everytime it’s much scarier but I also comfort myself saying , you are strong enough to handle it. You have people to rely on and you will survive it

Just like you my friend , who is reading this

I hope you don’t go through what I went through , but I also know if you did you are strong and I am here for you….

So, here’s something I wrote during that time,

“You are like an albatross soaring the high into
Spreading happiness and wittiness spotlessly with,
The dreams of an untainted, yet childlike innocent kid at heart
The paper heart filled with art,
Full of colours , empathy and thought
A canvas to paint with so many feelings to express,
Yet when i look at you everything else seem so bland
Your light and smile hits people so hard
That you want to reciprocate
When the snowy numbness crawls on us
You are the ray of light that i turn to,
White salty tears make it’s final fall
You become my tumbler
You are the piece of my life that conceals the lifeless life ,
You are more of an anchor than a friend
To forever and always till the end “

So stay strong and lots of love,

See you in the next bloggg;!!!!


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Nyctophile

With colours so tangy and bright,
Why do i feel there’s no light,
woven in the darkness,
Maybe i am ,
What the society terms me a mess,
The imperfect me by the perfect them,
Like a plant to the stem,
I often wonder,
the game of pretendence,
Isn’t it a blunder,
yet we are in its root,
To criticise and to loot.
The self esteem and love ,
The confidence of being unique,
Yes you r right….
I am a disaster a beautiful disaster
#hope #nyctophile #depression #love #poem #poet #poetry #poetrycommunity


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Why did I stop writing?

This week was ideally one of my good weeks. This blog of mine took off really well, and I have you guys to thank for that!
I had started blogging years ago and earned decent money from it too,gained a massive following but then I decided to delete it one fine morning.Yes I was dumb .But something in me broke that day.I hated that piece of me , I just wanted it to be erased and just like that my blog disappeared from the face of the internet and my life.

Everything triggered it, and I couldn’t handle it. People saw me broken and had so many assumptions. Some friends of mine even called me “dark and twisted” because my poetry genre was that. One day, it was just the tip of the iceberg when a friend of mine told me that I have two completely different personalities when it comes to the friend they know and the blog they read. I was so scared of people around me having opinions that I stopped blogging . Initially , i thought I would take a week off and get back to it .But whenever I sat down to write , i could see weird gazes and interpretations of me running in their head , some even vocalising it clouding the words and my emotions and I couldn’t put anything on the paper .I was scared , scared to be not accepted . And that made me claustrophobic, my own poetry made me claustrophobic.And I decided to stop blogging.

Now that I think about it, I knew it was immature of me to do that, but that 19 year-old didn’t know any better! Even people’s compliments felt fake and a conversation starter. They assumed I was too smart, but I wasn’t. I just had some teeny tiny creative juices flowing in my overthinking brain. Sometimes, I hate myself for that because I really want to shut my brain down and give myself a break too.

But now I have regrets. I have regrets about killing my baby when it was at its highest point. Regrets of disappointing lakhs of people , regrets that maybe my old blog would have reached at a height that I could never fathom.But looking back, would I do it again? Yes . A complicated answer for a very simple question .This “yes” has so many layers attached to it. The insecurities in me wasn’t happy with the immense response that it got. Even with this blog, the views, likes, and comments all seem so surreal as I have just started. The fear of being inside that glassbox someday is something that I am constantly working on, trying to not let it tackle me down again this time.I know all this sounds like I m selfish and all I care for is numbers . Honestly, no.I’m not a number person, but I do like to be appreciated and being acknowledged for what I write. Because growing up, I wasnt. Trauma does have a boomerang effect.I guess so !! The warmth of you guys relating to it keeps my juices flowing , sparks my creative wires, keeps me going.

Why am I writing this? Because today I felt the same thing—the fear of being judged for what I write? Would I be considered “dark and twisted” or am I mature enough? The overthinking went on overdrive till I started scribbling in my diary, and I honestly realized I couldn’t change the way people look at me. Some may consider me annoying, others too intellectual, and some crazy, but the real ones know me for me. Like me for who I am—and poetry is a part of me—this chaotic mess of words ,wittiness and emotions.
And I missed blogging. Seriously, I missed writing poetry and putting it out there, and I guess it’s okay. Because this is how I am true to myself, by being the real me. It was so hard to stay away from all this for the past two years, and I also know for a fact my writing isn’t at its peak, but it’s okay because I write for myself;i m happy , in a safe space of my own as the perfect poetry for me is my own.
Why did I crib so much today? Because today I had a conversation with my friend about how he missed my poetry and our open mics. He told me he missed my writing, and that’s when I opened up to him about my fears and the cycle of thoughts that led me to that standstill. He said I was an idiot, which I agree with, but moreso, I was too scared of being overwhelmed by people’s opinions and these rationalizations of the type of person that I was just because of my poetry, as I was used to being on the sidelines. It took me a lot of time to accept the broken, unbroken me, but I’m happy. happy to be back .

It’s so easy to fall into prejudices, and I just want to tell you it’s okay. But what’s more important is to pick yourself up and surround yourself with the louder voices of empathetic people who can shut the voices in your head. Because sometimes we do make dumb decisions, but what matters is how we deal with them afterwards and the choices we make to counter them.

Is it a philosophical class ? No , but I wanted to put it out there , I am not a perfect writer , nobody is . I have made dumb decisions and it’s okay .Just write for yourself , do what makes you happy . People can create illusions but what matters is how you paint them in your head .It took me a long time to figure this out . Letting go of all this wasn’t easy but i am glad I am painting my castle on my own .I am glad to have your back because I promise to be better.
 
 
 P.s . Yes , this isn’t a typical blog format with a proper structure but Im happy with it nevertheless , the chaos in me is what comes on my blogs and thats what makes it real and me. I promise I wouldn’t leave you guys stranded this time.

Thanku for staying till the end!!!

Questions

It’s like life is teaching me the same lesson.
Different chapters, but always the same question,
Is there something for which to strive for perfection?
Is it okay to be ordinary and not be an exception?
All the questions haunted me, and I stood at an interception.
felt like I was running in circles with no satisfaction.
I was functioning with aggression.
Being suffocated by oppression and depression 
I was seeking an explanation.
“Was I the weapon for my own destruction?”
Felt like amidst recession with no option 
My subconscious played it as a replay of an obsession.
I didn’t realize it was a cry and a call for introspection.

 

After lot of thoughts,conversations and suggestions
I figured something that i would like to mention
There’s no steady set direction ,
Everything is just a perception
Everyone has a different progression
At the end what matters is dedication
Because life is no fiction , 
Everything is a demonstration with convention
After every downfall, you are worthy of a resurrection
It’s okay to anticipate, exaggerate even question,
As there’s no such thing as salvation,
And this is my confession and realisation 
You are a prized possession , with flavours of complexion
Find your connection, empathise with your question
As you should admire your reflection.
 


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Shadows

I have always lived in the shadows,
Not on the pedestal not on meadows,
Hiding from the spotlight, wherever the light goes,
Pulling down the shutters on my windows,
I crucified my tomorrow not believing in magical rainbows,
Because I knew , as tomorrow comes , my darkness grows.

Being alone , with so many unknowns ,
Amidst friends and foes,
Looking at Instagram perfect lives,
Emotions and dreams buried under catacombs,

While my nightmare clings on to me like shadows.
I tried coming out of the shadows ,
yet I felt I was stranded on fallows.
I tried to be someone else , as the author plotted,
Only to be feeling destroyed and haunted.

Fairytales kept reminding me of treasures,
Yet all I could see was an imperfect mess,
Trying to fit in with sleeves of confidence and glow in a dress,

Trying to bloom and stand affirm on my toes with my clothes
Nothing as compared to the spectators on first rows.

We were taught to be princesses not to be shadows,
But I defied the rules , as I was a hot mess,
A consistently inconsistent work in progress .

It took me long to accept me as no less
here in shadows to feel solace in anonymity
Living life with no reservations
For my name would be forgotten someday
Yet I was completely okay to be not okay.

To not be tortured with endless explanations
And expectations,
As I will , probably and mostly be lost in the shadows
Yet I would breathe be happy for being me in a shadow
Being a silhouette, beautiful in an unspoken way
As I peak in from shadows as i m here to stay.


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