Tag Archives: life

Breaking the Narrative: How to Recognise and Rewrite Your Role as the Villain in Your Life Story



I was a quiet kid, and then my amazing best friend came along in school. She pushed me to go outside of my box so the world could see the fireball that I was. The adrenaline rush that I got from speaking, debate, quizzes still gives me goosebumps. I won trophies, and the world saw me as a smart, sarcastic, and even some said intellectual person. Everything was picture-perfect, and then I stopped.

Why? I got overwhelmed.

I went inside my shell and only let a few people inside my brain.

I could paint a thousand villains for making me feel all this, but more so, somewhere along the line, I knew it was me.

Yeah, you read it right; I am the anti-hero of my story.

Quite the dramatic intro, isn’t it?




Recently, I read the poem ” I am a Screw-Up” by Tanmay. This series of thoughts came after that. and this deserves all the attention.

(P.S. This isn’t a pity party post; it’s my villain arc story.)

Each of us possesses a life story that influences how we see ourselves and the world. However, at times, this narrative can portray us as the antagonist, imposing limitations on our potential and hindering personal development.

It took me a lot of time to see that I am the writer, and we possess the ability to identify and modify this narrative, thereby transforming ourselves into the protagonists of our tales.

Does it happen overnight? No,

It’s a slow and gradual process.

Most days you wake up as a hero, and other days you wake up as a villain.

And if you ask me honestly, once in a while, it’s good to be the villain of your story because it gives you a perspective that you don’t tend to see. But there’s a very fine line, and that’s difficult to maintain as it can often turn to self-loathing and be detrimental to our mental health. Following is a list that helped me liberate myself from the constraints of self-perception, how I identified detrimental patterns and my slow, gradual steps to rewriting my story.

Is it an exhaustive list? No.

Do you, I say!

1. Self-Reflection

When the stack of self-help books kept chanting self-reflection, I never got the hype around it. Until I started journaling. I never did anything fancy or used the prompts in the books. Are they wrong? No, but it wouldn’t have worked for me.

So I just sat down with paper and pen and started writing.

Honestly, it felt weird because I’m used to typing on a laptop, but this felt more personal and even borderline invasive.

Words became sentences, sentences became paragraphs, and eventually, it was all soaked in tears.

Was it easy? No, and yes.

It requires introspection and a willingness to examine thoughts, emotions, and behaviours that contribute to self-perception.

Did it help? Yes

This process helped me gain awareness and understanding of the patterns that kept me stuck in the role of the villain. It’s very important to be in your safe space so that you can explore your past experiences, beliefs, and actions. And then ask these questions:

What events or experiences led me to believe I was the villain in my story?

How have these beliefs influenced my actions and relationships?

These questions and thoughts helped me uncover deeply ingrained beliefs and assumptions that had shaped my self-perception.




Challenging Limiting Beliefs

As kids, we used to question everything and nothing. Now we don’t.

When did we limit ourselves? Why did we?

Somewhere along the line, all the questions lead to the same answer: deep-rooted limiting beliefs.

I started to question their origin. In my story, it was instilled in me by others and developed as a defence mechanism to cope. I knew I had to wake up and challenge myself. So I started asking these questions: It’s crucial to identify these beliefs and challenge them.

The beliefs that were limiting me

Are they based on evidence or assumptions? Are they still relevant and helpful in my life?

I started gathering pieces of evidence, and I sought out positive feedback and validation from trusted individuals to provide me with a different perspective.

I gradually started replacing the limiting beliefs with empowering ones that reflect me and help identify me with my full and true potential.

Taking responsibility and accountability

I knew words could only help me to some extent; actions had to be followed up
I had to take accountability,

Acknowledge my mistakes and take responsibility for my actions. I didn’t want to hold grudges anymore. I didn’t want to torment myself anymore in the cycle of victimhood. Instead, I want to own up to being me, and even if it’s an imperfect mess, I will still be happy.

Reflecting on the times when I may have acted in ways that were not aligned with my values Taking responsibility for the consequences of my actions without dwelling on guilt or self-blame Recognising that making mistakes is part of being human and that it is through mistakes that we learn and grow

I think when I started embracing accountability, I empowered myself to make different choices moving forward. Learning from my past actions, committing to making amends if necessary, and striving to act in ways that align with the hero I want to become Or at least for the version that I want to be.




Empathy and Compassion: Transforming Relationships

Breaking the villainous narrative goes beyond self-reflection; it also involves transforming our relationships with others.

Why don’t we talk about empathy?

Society wants us to be hard and driven but forgets that being humane isn’t being weak.

It’s important to understand that everyone has their struggles and motivations, which may have influenced their actions in the past.

Recognising that actions may have been influenced by circumstances, insecurities, or past traumas .Extending this understanding to others as well, allowing space for forgiveness and healing.


Cultivating open and honest communication with the people in my life was very life-changing for me.I am still learning

It wasn’t and isn’t easy. I’m taking small, gradual steps every day.

Embracing change and growth

I hate change. I am inflexible like that. But lately, I have been liking change. It helped me grow. Stepping out of my comfort zone helped me enjoy my own company.

This list sounds very fancy, right? But there was nothing fancy about it! It wasn’t aesthetically pleasing; some days it was hard, some days manageable.

Why did I do all this? Somewhere, I wanted to become the catalyst of my story.

To rewrite my role as the villain in my life story, I wanted to create a new narrative that empowers and uplifts me.

I started visualising it and made a movie out of it in my head with lots of BGM.

Recognising and rewriting the narrative that casts us as the villains in our life stories is a transformative journey. It requires self-reflection, challenging limiting beliefs, taking responsibility, cultivating empathy and compassion, embracing change and growth, and creating a new narrative that empowers us as the heroes of our own stories.

Is this the end of my TED talk? I guess so.

Honestly, I am not telling or preaching that I am completely out of my villain arc era! No.

A big fat No.

But I have also understood that this process is not linear and may require ongoing effort and commitment. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the grace to make mistakes along the way. Being kind is important.

I believe By breaking free from the constraints of self-perception, we can embrace our true potential, forge meaningful connections, and live a life filled with purpose and fulfilment. It’s time to rewrite our story and become the hero we were always meant to be. Trust in your ability to create a narrative that reflects your strength, resilience, and capacity for growth. The power to shape your story lies within you.

Because you, my love, deserve so much more!So go be the hero !!!!!!. Till then sending you lots of hugs, love and positivity!!!!!


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Dear Best friend,


I was deeply skeptical before writing as I know the internet can be a weird place but I wanted to because you are a huge part of my life, the reason why I m sane and still not so broken is because of you. So, you deserve the love and attention on my blog because you deserve nothing else. ( Mind you, I m very possessive about the content I put on my blog)
So, my fellow human,
Today is your special day and I just want to take a moment to let you know how special you are. I could get you gifts but I wanted you to have a part of me, a part that I am good at, ie, words. So I wanted to write this because, on days when you are feeling low, you can come back to this. Because the world may torment you to feel like you are worth nothing, but I will always remind you that you are my Helen of Sparta and I could start or fight the Trojan War for you.
On a more formal note, first and foremost, I want to thank you for being my friend. You have been with me through thick and thin, and I don’t know what I would do without you. You are the one person I can always count on to lift me when I am feeling down and to make me laugh when I need it the most. Your unwavering support and kindness have gotten me through some of the toughest times in my life, and I will be forever grateful for them. looking back, I wouldn’t have survived my hardest days if it wasn’t for you. I know you see my vulnerability and brokenness behind the facade of sarcasm and annoyingness. I don’t even know whether it’s an actual word, but describing you through words is also difficult !!! It’s become too cheesy! But that’s what you get!
But you deserve this because you are my hype brigade, if it weren’t for you I would never give the credits I deserve and I probably will die of impostor syndrome but you hold me gently and make me realise I m not the villain of my story.
So today i want to remind you of the same .
You have been through so much in your life, yet you always manage to keep your head held high and your spirits up. Your resilience and perseverance inspire me to be a better person, and I am in awe of your courage and determination. Whenever I am feeling lost or hopeless, I think of you and all that you have overcome, and it gives me the strength to keep going.

Another thing I love about you is your sense of humor. You always know how to make me laugh, even when I am feeling my lowest. Whether it’s a silly joke, a funny meme, or just a goofy expression, you never fail to put a smile on my face. Your humor has helped me through some tough times, and I don’t know what I would do without it. we have cribbed over guys and our lives and for all of that I am so grateful to have you in my life, and I can’t imagine going through all these moments without you.

You have never judged me for my mistakes, but you have always held me accountable for them. So , i want you to do the same for you once . See your worth because even diamonds lose their shine infront of you .
I want you to know how much you are loved. You bring so much joy and happiness to those around you, and I am so lucky to call you my friend. Thank you for being the amazing person that you are, and for making my life so much brighter. I love you more than these words could ever express. Be a good friend And get me a boyfriend, for god sake !!🤣

I can go on and on, but it would be a bit too much and nobody reads for this long!!
So I want to list 24 things for you to look back on when you feel low because you may see the flawed version and be self-critical of yourself, but all I see is an imperfectly perfect person who fits in my life perfectly as my jigsaw puzzle.

1. Your kind heart always shines through.
2. You make me laugh with your humour and wit.
3. Your honesty and integrity are unwavering.
4. You are always there for me when I need you.
5. Your creativity and imagination inspire me.
6. Your intelligence and curiosity are truly impressive.
7. Your sense of adventure makes life more exciting.
8. Your thoughtfulness and consideration for others are heartwarming.
9. Your positive attitude is contagious and uplifting.
10. Your beauty radiates from within.
11.Your loyalty and commitment to our friendship are unmatched.
12.Your generosity and selflessness never cease to amaze me.
13.Your ability to empathize and understand others is a gift.
14.Your strength and resilience in the face of adversity are inspiring.
15.Your confidence and self-assuredness are admirable.
16.Your hard work and dedication to your goals are admirable.
17.Your passion and enthusiasm for life is contagious.
18.Your grace and poise in any situation are impressive.
19.Your wisdom and insight always astound me.
20.Your willingness to help others is inspiring.
21.Your ability to forgive and move on is a valuable trait.
22.Your authenticity and genuineness are rare and special.
23.Your infectious energy and positive spirit are a blessing.
24.Your unwavering faith in yourself and others is admirable.
These are just a few of the many reasons why I love you.( Also being too sweet doesn’t fit my persona , let me go back to being myself) You are an amazing person, and I am so grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for being you, and for always brightening my day with your presence.


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30 days ,14 posts ,279 followers ,1000 likes,6000 views


Thanku fellow humans,

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 30 days since I started my blog. In some ways, it feels like it’s been a lot longer, and in others, it feels like it’s only been a few days. Nevertheless, hitting the 30-day milestone is a significant accomplishment for me, and I wanted to take some time to reflect on the experience so far.

Starting a blog is something that I’ve wanted to do for a while now. I’ve always enjoyed writing, and I’ve always been passionate about sharing my thoughts and ideas with others. But for some reason, I never got around to actually starting a blog until now. Looking back, I think a big part of the reason was fear. I was afraid of putting myself out there, of being vulnerable, of being judged. But I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of holding myself back, and I was ready to take the leap.

The first few days of my blog were both exhilarating and terrifying. On the one hand, it was amazing to see my writing out there in the world, to see people reading and commenting on my posts. On the other hand, I was constantly second-guessing myself, wondering if anyone was actually interested in what I had to say. But as the days went on, I started to find my rhythm. I started to feel more comfortable with my voice, and I started to gain more confidence in my writing.

One of the things that surprised me most about starting a blog was how much I’ve learned in just 30 days. The technical side of things, like setting up a website, choosing a platform, and optimizing for SEO. There’s the creative side of things, like coming up with topics, crafting headlines, and developing a unique voice. And then there’s the community side of things which is my favourite part , that is , you guys!!

One of the most challenging parts of the past 30 days has been finding the time to write. Between my full-time job, my social life, and my other hobbies and responsibilities, it’s been a struggle to carve out time for blogging. But I’ve found that when I’m passionate about something, I make it work. I’ve been waking up earlier in the mornings to write before work, and I’ve been staying up later at night to get in a few more paragraphs. It’s been tiring, but it’s also been incredibly rewarding.I also would be lying by saying I wasn’t sidetracked by the hate comments , but you guys reminded me of going forward and stood as my pillar of strength.

One of the things that’s kept me going over the past 30 days has been the support of my friends and family. When I first started my blog, I was nervous about telling people. I wasn’t sure how they would react, and I was worried that they would think it was silly or that I was just wasting my time. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the positive response I’ve received. People have been reading my posts, sharing them with their friends, and leaving encouraging comments. It’s been a huge motivator for me.

Of course, not everything has been smooth sailing over the past 30 days. There have been times when I’ve felt discouraged, when I’ve wondered if it’s all worth it. There have been times when I’ve struggled to come up with ideas, when I’ve sat staring at a blank screen for hours on end. But I’ve learned that these moments are all part of the process. They’re the challenges that come with any creative pursuit, and they’re the things that make the victories all the sweeter.
Why am I writing this ? Is it to rub it on your face ? Are numbers that only matter to me ?
No ,I know the title was very catchy and selfish but honestly for me it’s not about the numbers or likes , but the community that I have build for myself . It’s like my safe and comfort space which I am very grateful for . This post for me is on the days when I am low , questioning my self worth and battling my insecurities because i tend to do that a lot .
So I want to celebrate each and every milestone with you guys!!!
Because you are my biggest cheer leaders!
I remember journaling that nobody would like my writings but boy , you guys proved me wrong and that feeling is intoxicating and a new high for me .
So thanku ,
On a side note i read 28 books from the beginning of the year .Do you guys want book recommendations or reviews , comment down below!!!
And I know I am not active with my blog and this specific blog was written a long time ago i couldn’t post it because I am dealing with a personal loss. So i will get back to writing i promise when i feel better !!
And one of my poems got published ( REAR VIEW)
Here’s the link- https://wp.me/p6OZAy-1Q5y
Do check it out !!!



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Nyctophile

With colours so tangy and bright,
Why do i feel there’s no light,
woven in the darkness,
Maybe i am ,
What the society terms me a mess,
The imperfect me by the perfect them,
Like a plant to the stem,
I often wonder,
the game of pretendence,
Isn’t it a blunder,
yet we are in its root,
To criticise and to loot.
The self esteem and love ,
The confidence of being unique,
Yes you r right….
I am a disaster a beautiful disaster
#hope #nyctophile #depression #love #poem #poet #poetry #poetrycommunity


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Shadows

I have always lived in the shadows,
Not on the pedestal not on meadows,
Hiding from the spotlight, wherever the light goes,
Pulling down the shutters on my windows,
I crucified my tomorrow not believing in magical rainbows,
Because I knew , as tomorrow comes , my darkness grows.

Being alone , with so many unknowns ,
Amidst friends and foes,
Looking at Instagram perfect lives,
Emotions and dreams buried under catacombs,

While my nightmare clings on to me like shadows.
I tried coming out of the shadows ,
yet I felt I was stranded on fallows.
I tried to be someone else , as the author plotted,
Only to be feeling destroyed and haunted.

Fairytales kept reminding me of treasures,
Yet all I could see was an imperfect mess,
Trying to fit in with sleeves of confidence and glow in a dress,

Trying to bloom and stand affirm on my toes with my clothes
Nothing as compared to the spectators on first rows.

We were taught to be princesses not to be shadows,
But I defied the rules , as I was a hot mess,
A consistently inconsistent work in progress .

It took me long to accept me as no less
here in shadows to feel solace in anonymity
Living life with no reservations
For my name would be forgotten someday
Yet I was completely okay to be not okay.

To not be tortured with endless explanations
And expectations,
As I will , probably and mostly be lost in the shadows
Yet I would breathe be happy for being me in a shadow
Being a silhouette, beautiful in an unspoken way
As I peak in from shadows as i m here to stay.


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Book review – Ugly love

Ugly Love is a contemporary romance that follows the story of Tate Collins and Miles Archer. Tate has just moved to San Francisco to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse, while Miles is a pilot haunted by his past. They meet when Tate moves in with her brother, who is also Miles’ neighbor. Despite their initial attraction to each other, Miles refuses to allow himself love again, and they enter into a “friends with benefits” arrangement.
The story is told from the perspectives of both Tate and Miles, alternating between their present-day interactions and flashbacks from Miles’ past. This form gives a deeper understanding of the characters and their motivations, making their struggles easier.
Hoover’s writing is engaging and emotional, drawing the reader into the story and making them care about the characters. She deals with difficult subjects such as loss, grief and trauma with sensitivity and realism, making the experiences of the characters real.
Overall, Ugly Love is a compelling and moving romantic novel that explores the complexities of human relationships and the healing power of love. It is a moving and emotional read that will stay with you long after you finish reading. I recommend it to anyone who likes contemporary romance novels.

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