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Breaking the Narrative: How to Recognise and Rewrite Your Role as the Villain in Your Life Story



I was a quiet kid, and then my amazing best friend came along in school. She pushed me to go outside of my box so the world could see the fireball that I was. The adrenaline rush that I got from speaking, debate, quizzes still gives me goosebumps. I won trophies, and the world saw me as a smart, sarcastic, and even some said intellectual person. Everything was picture-perfect, and then I stopped.

Why? I got overwhelmed.

I went inside my shell and only let a few people inside my brain.

I could paint a thousand villains for making me feel all this, but more so, somewhere along the line, I knew it was me.

Yeah, you read it right; I am the anti-hero of my story.

Quite the dramatic intro, isn’t it?




Recently, I read the poem ” I am a Screw-Up” by Tanmay. This series of thoughts came after that. and this deserves all the attention.

(P.S. This isn’t a pity party post; it’s my villain arc story.)

Each of us possesses a life story that influences how we see ourselves and the world. However, at times, this narrative can portray us as the antagonist, imposing limitations on our potential and hindering personal development.

It took me a lot of time to see that I am the writer, and we possess the ability to identify and modify this narrative, thereby transforming ourselves into the protagonists of our tales.

Does it happen overnight? No,

It’s a slow and gradual process.

Most days you wake up as a hero, and other days you wake up as a villain.

And if you ask me honestly, once in a while, it’s good to be the villain of your story because it gives you a perspective that you don’t tend to see. But there’s a very fine line, and that’s difficult to maintain as it can often turn to self-loathing and be detrimental to our mental health. Following is a list that helped me liberate myself from the constraints of self-perception, how I identified detrimental patterns and my slow, gradual steps to rewriting my story.

Is it an exhaustive list? No.

Do you, I say!

1. Self-Reflection

When the stack of self-help books kept chanting self-reflection, I never got the hype around it. Until I started journaling. I never did anything fancy or used the prompts in the books. Are they wrong? No, but it wouldn’t have worked for me.

So I just sat down with paper and pen and started writing.

Honestly, it felt weird because I’m used to typing on a laptop, but this felt more personal and even borderline invasive.

Words became sentences, sentences became paragraphs, and eventually, it was all soaked in tears.

Was it easy? No, and yes.

It requires introspection and a willingness to examine thoughts, emotions, and behaviours that contribute to self-perception.

Did it help? Yes

This process helped me gain awareness and understanding of the patterns that kept me stuck in the role of the villain. It’s very important to be in your safe space so that you can explore your past experiences, beliefs, and actions. And then ask these questions:

What events or experiences led me to believe I was the villain in my story?

How have these beliefs influenced my actions and relationships?

These questions and thoughts helped me uncover deeply ingrained beliefs and assumptions that had shaped my self-perception.




Challenging Limiting Beliefs

As kids, we used to question everything and nothing. Now we don’t.

When did we limit ourselves? Why did we?

Somewhere along the line, all the questions lead to the same answer: deep-rooted limiting beliefs.

I started to question their origin. In my story, it was instilled in me by others and developed as a defence mechanism to cope. I knew I had to wake up and challenge myself. So I started asking these questions: It’s crucial to identify these beliefs and challenge them.

The beliefs that were limiting me

Are they based on evidence or assumptions? Are they still relevant and helpful in my life?

I started gathering pieces of evidence, and I sought out positive feedback and validation from trusted individuals to provide me with a different perspective.

I gradually started replacing the limiting beliefs with empowering ones that reflect me and help identify me with my full and true potential.

Taking responsibility and accountability

I knew words could only help me to some extent; actions had to be followed up
I had to take accountability,

Acknowledge my mistakes and take responsibility for my actions. I didn’t want to hold grudges anymore. I didn’t want to torment myself anymore in the cycle of victimhood. Instead, I want to own up to being me, and even if it’s an imperfect mess, I will still be happy.

Reflecting on the times when I may have acted in ways that were not aligned with my values Taking responsibility for the consequences of my actions without dwelling on guilt or self-blame Recognising that making mistakes is part of being human and that it is through mistakes that we learn and grow

I think when I started embracing accountability, I empowered myself to make different choices moving forward. Learning from my past actions, committing to making amends if necessary, and striving to act in ways that align with the hero I want to become Or at least for the version that I want to be.




Empathy and Compassion: Transforming Relationships

Breaking the villainous narrative goes beyond self-reflection; it also involves transforming our relationships with others.

Why don’t we talk about empathy?

Society wants us to be hard and driven but forgets that being humane isn’t being weak.

It’s important to understand that everyone has their struggles and motivations, which may have influenced their actions in the past.

Recognising that actions may have been influenced by circumstances, insecurities, or past traumas .Extending this understanding to others as well, allowing space for forgiveness and healing.


Cultivating open and honest communication with the people in my life was very life-changing for me.I am still learning

It wasn’t and isn’t easy. I’m taking small, gradual steps every day.

Embracing change and growth

I hate change. I am inflexible like that. But lately, I have been liking change. It helped me grow. Stepping out of my comfort zone helped me enjoy my own company.

This list sounds very fancy, right? But there was nothing fancy about it! It wasn’t aesthetically pleasing; some days it was hard, some days manageable.

Why did I do all this? Somewhere, I wanted to become the catalyst of my story.

To rewrite my role as the villain in my life story, I wanted to create a new narrative that empowers and uplifts me.

I started visualising it and made a movie out of it in my head with lots of BGM.

Recognising and rewriting the narrative that casts us as the villains in our life stories is a transformative journey. It requires self-reflection, challenging limiting beliefs, taking responsibility, cultivating empathy and compassion, embracing change and growth, and creating a new narrative that empowers us as the heroes of our own stories.

Is this the end of my TED talk? I guess so.

Honestly, I am not telling or preaching that I am completely out of my villain arc era! No.

A big fat No.

But I have also understood that this process is not linear and may require ongoing effort and commitment. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the grace to make mistakes along the way. Being kind is important.

I believe By breaking free from the constraints of self-perception, we can embrace our true potential, forge meaningful connections, and live a life filled with purpose and fulfilment. It’s time to rewrite our story and become the hero we were always meant to be. Trust in your ability to create a narrative that reflects your strength, resilience, and capacity for growth. The power to shape your story lies within you.

Because you, my love, deserve so much more!So go be the hero !!!!!!. Till then sending you lots of hugs, love and positivity!!!!!


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Chocolate – Chocoholic delight!!!

(A poem on chocolate by a Chocoholic)



Oh, chocolate, a delectable and heavenly delight,
An exquisite pleasure, a sensation that’s just right.
A treasure to relish, a beauty to admire,
An ecstatic indulgence, a narrative to inspire.

From the cocoa beans to the delightful melt,
A voyage of tastes, an exploration deeply felt.
With every bite, a burst of pure delight,
An immersive encounter, impossible to slight.

Whether it’s dark, milk, or white, a wide array,
A palette of richness, smoothness on display.
From truffles to bars, an extensive range,
A chocolate world, beyond any exchange.

Oh, chocolate, how you gratify our senses,
A source of comfort, relieving life’s stresses.
A mood enhancer, a wellspring of glee,
A blissful confection, setting our spirits free.

In cakes and pastries, your distinctive touch,
A decadent topping, a creamy clutch.
In cookies and brownies, a sweet delight,
A lingering flavor, an endless invite.

In hot cocoa or milkshakes, a warming embrace,
A velvety sip, a cozy solace to grace.
In fondue or ganache, a dipping affair,
A shared delight, free from any despair.

Oh, chocolate, you’ve captured our affection,
A cherished indulgence, a divine connection.
In every form, a creation of utmost finesse,
A love affair, an exquisite caress.

So let us relish the essence of your chocolaty taste,
A moment of pure presence, no time to waste.
With each delectable bite, a rendezvous with delight,
A sweet addiction, perfectly aligning day and night.


I have been munching on chocolates left right and centre this week . And then , this poem was born ; Chocolates have always helped me to make my mood Better. The mere mention of it makes my mouth water .The smooth velvety texture is a bundle of joy and a taste of pure happiness. Now , after this write-up,I am craving chocolates again !!!

Do you guys like chocolate tooo??? Has this poem taken you into a nostalgic trip ?? Do comment 👇

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My June TBR: A Journey Through Diverse Worlds




As the summer sun begins to warm the days and the promise of relaxation beckons, I find myself eagerly planning my reading adventures for June. With a diverse collection of books waiting patiently on my shelf, I’m excited to delve into a wide range of genres, explore new perspectives, and immerse myself in captivating narratives. Join me as I unveil my June To-Be-Read (TBR) list and share my thoughts on the books that will accompany me on this literary journey.

Am I being too ambitious? Maybe, but I am on my reading mood recently and I want to hit my target of 100 books this year ;

House swap by Rebecca fleet 

A house swap becomes the eerie backdrop to a crumbling marriage, a long-buried affair, and the fatal consequences that unfold after a house swap. I think it fits in the mystery genre !! Let’s hope it gets me swapped!!

India from Curzon to Nehru and After by Durga Das

I have always been a fan of Indian political history and so, I decided to delve into this deeper. It has anecdotes and personal insights and it’s termed as a masterpiece by the booktube community. Let’s hope it doesn’t put me to sleep.

The housemaid

This book has been raved in the book community and is also available in the Kindle unlimited free edition. So I thought I would give it a go. They say it’s a mix of The Woman in the Window, The Wife Between Us and The Girl on the Train and that combo makes it way too exciting. I might not put the books down of the reviews 

Good girls bad blood & As good as dead

I read good girl’s Guide to Murder and it was a good read .so I want to finish the series to give a detailed opinion. But I have only heard good things about this series, so I am excited as it’s a murder mystery with a strong female character.

I want to die but I want to eat Tteokbokki

The title is bizarre but the excerpt is very intriguing. It’s part memoir part self-help book, a transcript of her convos with her psychiatrist. To the world she is composed but deep within she is broken, helpless and overwhelmed. This book is like Tteokbokki hot and warm, feeds your soul when you feel you are alone. As a person who has her bad days, I want to get to see it through someone else’s eyes! So yeah, let’s see how it goes

The Ex talk

As the rainy days kick in I know I need romance. So here it is, a second chance romance between two exes and a radio show !!! Let’s hope it’s spicy hot and cheesy adding flair to my life. I don’t want to spoil it too much because then there’s no fun in it!!

This is the list right now that I have in mind, I need to finish these books so I can buy more books. Yes, I have a book addiction but I m not complaining!!!!!!

I might add some books too if I finish these!!

Will keep you updated.

 Hopefully, with this enticing assortment of books, it will accompany me throughout June. I think my TBR is a mix, a promise, and a diverse range of narratives that will transport me to different worlds, challenge my perspectives, and ignite my imagination. From exploring themes of identity and belonging to immersing myself in magical realms and legendary tales, this June TBR represents an exciting journey through literature. I am eagerly anticipating the moments of introspection, escapism, and sheer joy that these books will undoubtedly bring. Here’s to a month of captivating stories and unforgettable experiences!

 Do comment on your June tbr lists !!! Also, add in your recommendations!!How did the month of may go for you guys ???

 


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Testimony


In the kingdoms of life’s endless dance,
Where blessings glint at every chance,
Let me craft a poem, abridged and true,
To hymn of benefits that grace me and you.

Oh, benefits, you implausible light,
Superintending us through the murky night.
Like a mellow drizzle on withered Gaia’s embrace,
Ailmenting our hearts with copious grace.

First, health and vigour, a treasure untold,
A vibrant body, an essence bold.
From head to toe, vitality glow,
A priceless gift, we forget to cherish and know.

Then, knowledge’s gift, an unending well,
Opening minds, like an astonishing spell.
In books and teachings, wisdom resides,
Debuting new worlds, where insight abides.

Financial gain, an accessory so grand,
A shield against life’s shifting sand.
With ample means, dreams take flight,
And burdens are eased with sheer delight.

Love’s tender touch, a blessing supreme,
A radiant flame, a blissful dream.
Through friendship’s bond or romantic embrace,
Love intertwines hearts with lasting grace.

And peace, sweet peace, a tranquil balm,
Calming storms, restoring calm.
In troubled times, its solace we seek,
A sanctuary where weary souls can speak.

But let us not forget empathy’s might,
A benefit that ignites our inner light.
To understand and share another’s pain,
Fostering unity, breaking every chain.

These benefits, dear friends, are so divine,
In every facet of life, they intertwine.
Let us embrace them with grateful hearts,
And in their beauty, may our lives take part.

For in counting blessings, we find our worth,
In cherishing gifts, we renew our birth.
So let us celebrate these benefits bestowed,
And live a life with abundance and ode.


Hey hey hey, I know I have been m.i.a. But I haven’t fully settled in my place yet! But I will get back to writing as soon as I can !! On a completely different side note; we hit 500 subscribers !!! I am so grateful to each one of you !!! Keep showing me lots of love. Means the world to me (I want to say a lot of things but I will stop because if I do I won’t stop. What matters is, you guys have my heart.

This poem is very special to me because there was a time when I realised that even if everything around me is screwed up, I still had things for which I had to be grateful. It acted as a light for me and gave me the strength to wake up the next day. Sometimes, we need that, that tiny glimmer of hope, so today I give this to you.

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Sending lots of love, hugs and positivity,. Poestory porium.❤️

My Newsletter

The title says it all !!! I have grown up reading newsletters and blogs !! My email has probably 14,000 mails and probably half of it is newsletters . So ,I have always wanted to start my own newsletter.

Honestly, when I started this blog, I always envisioned myself starting a newsletter after hitting a specific number and on my vision Board I Had predicted it to almost take a year.

But you guys have shown so much love for which I am forever grateful!!

So here we are 2.5 months later, Introducing my baby to the world.

It’s a weekly free newsletter that would be delivered directly to your mail with amazing content recommendations and everything and nothing.

I will spill some tea on my week we chit-chat and build our community, a community of raw unfiltered chaotic beautiful people.!!!

So, it would mean the world to me if you guys subscribe!!!

The first newsletter comes out tomorrow !!!

Thank-you u❤️❤️❤️

Book review – Lessons in chemistry

Book – Lessons in Chemistry ( Bonnie Garmus)

5/5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐


After writing an article about reading losing its charm for me , I was determined to get back to reading.So I did what every sane person would do , turn to Instagram and YouTube. I found bookstagram and booktube and I binge-watched Book tube and Bookstagram videos and the number of times this book has been mentioned is insane, almost 30,000 times then Goodreads sent me the list of best books in 2022, and guess who ranked first in the list- Lessons in chemistry !! Now we may ignore the recommendations but we definitely can’t ignore the universe – (I don’t think I would have picked it up otherwise and it would have been my loss. )
This book stands out and has been delivered as promised. It’s a historical fiction but for me, the Chemistry classes stand out. It’s quite a literary novel, full of storytelling tricks and quirks and enough fictional characters to make Neil Gaiman or Stephen King jealous. But Bonnie Garmus is up to the task in this book. She has a laser focus on the injustices of life—not just institutional sexism, but how life robs us of those we love most. It’s a sad but hopeful story that made me laugh and cry, and sometimes those are the best things. There are certain scenes where I felt low and high, certain scenes where I could relate so much that it was heartbreaking.
Elizabeth Zott is a chemist. She’d be a PhD, except—well, you know, she’s a 1960s woman in science. So she ends up as a researcher at a small California institute, where she suddenly falls in love with Calvin Evans, the institute’s most brilliant and eccentric researcher. But when Calvin dies, Elizabeth is left alone, and sexism continues to hinder her ability to make money or advance in the world. Adding on that, she is a single unwed mother in that era. I can’t even imagine honestly !!!
Finally, An opportunity arrives in the form of an afternoon cooking show – hosted by Elizabeth – but neither the TV producer who found it nor Elizabeth herself knows what to make of the success of Supper at Six. Meanwhile, Elizabeth tries to raise her precocious daughter Mad the only way she knows how: scientifically. The scenes of mother-daughter are die for, because you see parenting doesn’t have a textbook guideline and that’s okay. You do you !!
This book has flaws too but the way it ties up is beautiful. Garmus’ story is sometimes flat, though broad in the description, prone to tangents and tending towards its point. Dialogue splatters onto the page in bits and pieces and it makes sense. Each chapter moves between times and memories, sometimes focusing so madly that it’s relatable. The characters are caricatures – some so sexist and crude as to border on unbelievable, others so crude or farcical as to almost undermining the seriousness of the story. But I think that’s more the point, and that’s what Garmus is trying to do here – sexism is stupid.
This is the story of a woman who refuses to settle down. In chemistry class, many people – including other women – tell Elizabeth that she just needs to embrace the world. You might be able to make some progress, but eventually, you have to give up and play by the patriarchy’s rules. You must be Miss Frask instead of Elizabeth Zotti.
Garmus perfectly captures so many tropes I see in social justice circles—women burdened with such internalized misogyny that it hurts to watch; men who claim to be allies, but only if it means you sit down now, be disruptive; people of all genders who support you and mean well, but don’t understand how far the freedom struggle has to go. From Fraski to Walter to Helen, the characters jump off the page because they are caricatures. Lessons in Chemistry feel more like Garmus shouting into the void. Because the world hasn’t changed much since the 1960s.
Also, if this book has a flaw, it’s its whiteness—women of colour still face more obstacles than women like me and Elizabeth. So Garmus wrote a book to scream and scream and scream about the injustice of it all.
There is also a love story here. It’s written in the language of decanters and rowing and strapping laws, but here, on paper, it’s a slow-burning romance that ends too soon and becomes an afterthought. Elizabeth and Calvin never stood a chance. Calvin and his mother never had a chance. Calvin and Mad never stood a chance.
Sometimes life just happens and you never have a chance.
I loved all of Elizabeth’s relationships in the book. She is so careful with her daughter, yet so ignorant. Mad is an adorable kid, a little creepy but never overwhelming – I don’t think I wanted to see her try to carry the whole book, but as a main character who joins us halfway through, she’s great. Also Helen – her evolution from a somewhat ambitious housewife to Elizabeth’s close friend… it’s so cool and could have been boring in another writer’s hands, but Garmus somehow pulls it off.
This is it: a magic trick. This book is so raw, yet so carefully and precisely crafted, a chemical—a no, alchemical—chain reaction of storytelling culminating in coding that made me cry. When Elizabeth signs when she reads the clue cards at the end… well, not to spoil it, but it brought tears to my eyes – even though much of the finale is predictable, it’s predictable in a way that Garmus deserved to be predicted. The victory is so well accomplished, so satisfying, that I feel I have already had my fill.
So please do give it a read !!!!

Do follow me on Instagram where I post about my reading vlogs and details too!!! Also we could articulate and chat too , would love to hear your insights and reviews!!!

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