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Battling the Voices of Confusion: My Dilemma with Hate comments

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It’s been exactly 20 days since I wrote my last blog .”THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MONEY’- 15 LIFE CHANGING LESSONS“.Surprisingly, I have 71 drafts pending to be edited. Tadaaaa!!!!

But right now, Honestly, the feeling of touching any of my drafts is overwhelming. It’s like a block of some sort. But the real reason is paranoia, writer’s dilemma and a continuous cycle of hate comments flooding in. It’s like a wave at this point. My highs and lows are a catastrophe.
In the hallowed hours of the night, my writing brain sparks in. The soft glow of the screen illuminates my dim room. And I find myself overwhelmed with words that cut deeper than any paper wound.Emails once promised connection, now bring hate.

Writing, once a sanctuary for me, now honestly feels like a battlefield where the wounds are invisible but painfully real.

The hate mail, whispers doubts in the quiet corners of my mind. Each word is a tiny blade, leaving scars that may not show but linger nonetheless. The criticism I once welcomed has morphed into a relentless assault.I am scared of what may appear in my inbox. Nights feel heavy with such words, but quitting now is not an option.

Spam comments, like ghosts of genuine engagement, haunt the spaces where my connections used to thrive. Amid the algorithmic noise and automated gibberish, I miss the the authentic exchanges which are now buried.

It has been a lonely journey for me to go through the artificial interactions and search for genuine connections that once fueled my passion for sharing stories. The comments section, which was once a source of warmth and community, now feels like a barren and desolate place. I yearn for real connections, yet the silence is all I get, and filtering and deleting it feels like a chore that I don’t want to do.

I want to explore new realms of book reviews that delve into the heart of literature because I tend to read a lot . I want to suggest book recommendations with you all too. I want to write about murder case files that unravel the mysteries of human darkness because I have always been interested in human phycology and murder mysteries. Yet, fear holds me hostage like a vice.

Will my departure from the familiar be met with acceptance, or will I be sabotaged? A lone wanderer in uncharted literary territory? The uncertainty keeps knocking at my overthinking brain, overshadowing the excitement that should accompany the pursuit of passion.

And then there’s poetry my favorite genre, a form of expression that once flowed freely from the recesses of my heart. Now, the verses are stifled, caught in the crossfire of expectations and the fear of being scrutinized. The desire to write becomes entangled with the pressure to conform. I find myself hesitating, questioning whether the words I long to share will be met with acceptance or met with indifference. That scares me.

Amid this struggle, the dream of authentic book reviews and the fascination with murder case files flicker like distant stars. The desire to immerse myself in the written word and explore the depths of human experience remains, but the path is fraught with uncertainty. Will the world embrace my authenticity, or will it demand a conformity that threatens to extinguish the flame that burns within?

In these moments of vulnerability, I realize that the emotional toll of online writing runs deep. It’s not just about crafting sentences and paragraphs; it’s about navigating a labyrinth of emotions, where the highs of creative expression are accompanied by the lows of doubt and fear.However, despite the threatening shadows that envelop me, I refuse to let the flicker of passion be extinguished.d.

In the quiet hours, when the weight of words becomes too much to bear, I hold on to the belief that writing is not just about the clairaudiences about the journey, the process of unveiling the layers of my soul through words. The struggle is real, the wounds are raw, but within the vulnerability lies the strength to persevere. For every hateful echo, there is a whisper of resilience, and in that delicate balance, I find the courage to continue navigating the labyrinth, hoping that, in time, the echoes of love and understanding will drown out the cacophony of hate.

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Poems

Lost Love : Poetic Farewell to My Crush

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Dear crush,
I have some words to weave,
So that I can let you finally leave,
We met as mutuals,
We clicked instantly, the timing a bit unusual,
We texted long convos nothing like my usual,
I wish I could just put everything back to neutral.


Emotions, feelings I tried to make it hush,
Yet it seemed something that I couldn’t brush,
And then you become my internet crush.
Weirdly enough making me all time blush,
And  you made me feel all the romantic  rush.


You made me feel comfortable in my skin,
Acquaintance or friend, I didn’t know where to sink in,
I wanted it to be something more,
You were something that I have never had before.


I pretended to be unbothered but I was scared,
Because it was all new and I was unprepared.
You were the scintilla And your eyes bought me that,
It used to lighten up my darkest nights,
A glimpse of a text, I glimmer,
Used to help me shine even brighter,
Battling my insecurities and the dark thoughts I was in,
Yet you were never mine to begin.


I was my free annoying sarcastic self with you,
You were everything wonderful, perfect, and true.
Our conversations kept me alive and shining,
Till you found me annoying.
I never intended that but it came to that point,
From your viewpoint, I was a disappoint.


I finally moved away from the city,
I wish there was no nitty gritty,
Yet we were somewhere in touch,
Months passed and everything in me screamed
I wasn’t good enough
Maybe withholding from making a move
But for you, I wanted to make an improve
We talked., I wanted to know you so much more
That I stayed for you to open up
I patiently waiting for your nothing to turn into my sup
I knew it was difficult, you had your issues
But I was always ready with my tissues.


But somewhere in the weird what-if scenarios
I knew I could do that, highly optimistic
But boy was I wrong, I wasn’t realistic
You were closed off and shut me off
Yet I tried harder to break through your shell
Though I knew in you somewhere I fell.
Then I moved back to the city,
And you asked us to meet,
I was happy and cynical and giddy.
It never happened ,I was devastated..


Everything got complicated ,yet I waited,
But I consoled myself telling it was okay,
Maybe someday?
Until there wouldn’t be, as I lashed out on you,
You called me annoying and finally, I broke down.


Days later I apologized yet I knew something in us was broken.
We were never going back to being friends,
I knew this is exactly where it ends.
Days later I realized, did I know you at all??
Maybe I didn’t, I just indulged myself in too many scenarios..


I thought I knew you.
I knew a tiny part of you, which I m grateful,
But today I m heartbroken.
I m away from the city, conversations playing in my head,
Waiting for this moment to never come,
My breathing is heavy and broken,
As I write this ,as my grief speaks in poetry unspoken,
But I m kissing my memories with teary-eyed
I have too many words to tell yet I am all numb and heartbroken


As goodbyes I know can never be outspoken or forespoken.
Yet not letting you go
But I know I have to let you go
So this is the letter i weave,
Because I m not the princess in your story.


I walked in your path and had my world collide,
I m glad I did because it’s a labyrinth.
Even if right now, my sorrow is significant,
Bearing it makes me crushed and mystified,
But I don’t want all this to be Trapped inside,


Because in this process I found me,
The writer and character, the setting, and the plot
But I will nevertheless miss you
You were my story to weave
Hence I take my leave……

Hey there,

I wanted to take a moment to chat about this poem and the whole ‘crush’ thing. Pouring my heart out like this wasn’t just cathartic, it was a real eye-opener.

Having a crush, it turns out, is a bit like stumbling upon a hidden gem. It makes you feel alive, a little giddy, and yeah, sometimes even a tad frustrated. Putting pen to paper, or rather fingers to keys, helped me make sense of it all.

See, a crush isn’t just a passing fancy. It’s a little spark that reminds us we’re capable of feeling deeply. And penning this down? It’s like freezing a moment in time, a souvenir from this rollercoaster ride of emotions.

So, here’s to crushing, to feeling, and to embracing every wild twist and turn. Thanks for joining me on this adventure.

Cheers,

(Ps All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental)

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Poems

8 Haikus: My Liberation In Books

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1
Classic tales of yore,
In books, we can explore,
Timeless wisdom’s store.

2
Words like whispered dreams,
In books, reality gleams,
Life’s complex schemes.

3
From cover to close,
A story’s journey it shows,
In words, the heart glows.

4
Mysteries concealed,
In the pages, truths revealed,
In books, we are healed.

5
Language’s sweet art,
In books, we find every part,
Of the human heart.

6
Each chapter’s new start,
In the library, we depart,
To worlds set apart.

7
Through the writer’s view,
In books, we’re born anew,
Each page, a world to pursue.

8
At day’s quiet end,
In books, our minds transcend,
Time, we comprehend.

In libraries vast,
Silent stories, memories cast,
A future and a past.

10
Fiction’s sweet refrain,
Characters dance in the brain,
In books, we remain.

11
History’s embrace,
In the volumes, we can trace,
Humanity’s face.

12
Verse and prose unite,
In the bound words, we find light,
Day turns into night.

13
Shelf upon shelf, bound,
In books, wisdom is found,
Worlds without a bound.

14
Turn a page and find,
A new world, a different mind,
In books, we’re entwined.

15
Ancient scrolls and more,
Books are windows to explore,
Knowledge to implore.

16
Fantasy unfurls,
In tales of knights and ancient worlds,
Adventure calls.

Okkk , now I am obsessed with haikus !!!

I almost wrote 30 haikus in a dayyyy

Can you believe that !!!

On this note tell me your favourite haikus too!!!

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See you next time

Poems

Haiku (Day 2)

2 Comments

1.
In libraries vast,
Books whisper secrets of old,
Tales forever told.

2.
Pages turn with grace,
Ink and paper interlace,
Worlds in each embrace.

3.
Cover’s artistry,
Invites curiosity,
A world to foresee.

4.
Knowledge unfurling,
In the pages, worlds are twirling,
Learning’s sweet swirling.

5.
Between shelves I stand,
Bound by stories, a book in hand,
My escape is planned.

6.
From dawn until dusk,
In books, I place my trust,
Words, my treasure trove.

7.
Spine creased with love,
Worn pages rise like a dove,
Thoughts from above.

8.
Whispers of the past,
In dusty tomes they’re cast,
Time’s shadows contrast.

9.
Library’s delight,
Books transport us through the night,
Imagination’s flight.



Haiku, with its roots in Japanese tradition, has a unique charm. As I explored this poetic form, I realized that it’s not just about words; it’s about capturing moments, emotions, and the essence of life itself.
I found beauty in nature, fleeting moments, and subtle emotions that often go unnoticed. Haiku is like a lens that sharpens our perception of the world.

I’d like to extend an invitation to all of you. Try your hand at haiku; it’s an enchanting and enjoyable creative exercise.

Explore the world around you, embrace the simplicity, and distill your thoughts into this concise form of poetry.

Share your haikus with friends, family, or even on social media,and comment down below and let’s celebrate the beauty of these small poetic gems together.

Haiku is not just a form of art; it’s a way to appreciate life’s many facets in a few, carefully chosen words.

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Poems

Haiku – AIR

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Here are some haikus in which I emphasised on the word “air”:

1.
In the morning air,
Fresh and crisp without a care,
Nature’s grace is so rare.

2.
High up in the air,
Birds in flight, a graceful pair,
Freedom fills the dare.

3.
Balloons in the air,
Colours soaring, light as prayer,
Joy beyond compare.

4.
Whispers on the air,
Secrets shared, a bond to bear,
Trust beyond compare.

5.
Kites dance in the air,
Strings of joy, laughter to spare,
Childhood memories there.

6.
Sailboats on the air,
Breezes guide, waves rise and flare,
Adventures declare.

7.
Mist hangs in the air,
Veiling landscapes everywhere,
Mystery to share.

8.
Wind in the night air,
Sings a lullaby with care,
Dreams float everywhere.

9.
The scent of flowers in the air,
Blossoms sweet, beyond compare,
Perfume to declare.

10.
Rainbows in the air,
Colours arc, a vivid glare,
Nature loves to wear.

11.
Breezes kiss the air,
Leaves in dance, a tender pair,
Autumn’s love to bear.

12.
Waves crash in the air,
Ocean’s power, grand and rare,
Nature’s force laid bare.

13.
Fireflies in the air,
Glowing stars with grace to spare,
Summer’s magic, where?

14.
Hopes float in the air,
Dreams aloft, free as a dare,
Future’s canvas, wear.

15.
Whispers on the air,
Secrets shared, love’s sweet affair,
Heartbeats, love’s heartbeat.

16.
Birdsong fills the air,
Morning’s chorus, bright and clear,
Nature’s gift to share.

17.
Mist veils in the air,
Morning’s soft and tender prayer,
Day’s beauty laid bare.

18.
Dandelions in the air,
Seeds of wishes hope to bear,
Nature’s dreams declare.

19.
Stars twinkle in the air,
Cosmic wonders, beyond compare,
Night’s grandeur, we stare.

20.
Balloons in the air,
Upward bound, lighter than air,
Celebration’s flair.

21.
Snowflakes in the air,
Blanket of white, pristine and fair,
Winter’s frosty care.

22.
Leaves whirl through the air,
Autumn’s palette, colours rare,
Nature’s art to wear.

23.
Thunder rumbles in the air,
Storm’s fury, a wild affair,
Nature’s power there.

24.
Sunrise paints the air,
Golden hues, a day’s first glare,
Morning’s light to share.

25.
Love is in the air,
Hearts entwined, beyond compare,
Eternal, a pair.

So , comment down 👇 your haikus using the word air and we can create a chain I guess !!!!

Thankuu for sticking with me guys !!!

You have no idea how important you guys are to me

Sending you lots of love !!!!

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Continue reading Haiku – AIR →
Blogs

My Struggle With Declining WordPress Views

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Hello, fellow bloggers! I hope you are doing better than me. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride for me lately, and I just needed to express my frustration about the declining views on my WordPress blog. So, let’s get personal and dive into my blogging journey.

You know, there was a time when my blog was flourishing. I started publishing, and within a few hours the notifications started coming in. I felt like I was on top of the world, and my confidence soared. But now, it is a different story. That information has become elusive, and I’m left wondering if I’m doing something terribly wrong.

First, let me address the elephant in the room: Is it just me, or has blogging lost its allure? Well, maybe it’s a little bit of both. The digital landscape has evolved very rapidly, and it’s not the same as it was when I started. Competition is fierce, and readers’ attention spans have greatly shortened. It’s like trying to stand out in a crowded room where everyone is shouting.

I’ve tried everything I could think of. I’ve changed up my posting schedule, experimented with different content, and even dabbled in SEO. It seemed to work for a while, but then, it all went haywire again. It’s like playing a never-ending game of trial and error, and it’s seriously frustrating.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. In the blogging community, there is a sense of solidarity in our struggles. I have talked to other bloggers and many of them are facing the same problem. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone, but it’s also frustrating to see so many talented writers struggling to make their voices heard.

What makes it even more confusing is that there doesn’t seem to be any straightforward solution. It’s like trying to crack a code that keeps changing. What worked last year may not work today. To say the least, it’s making me feel ignorant and frustrated.

But despite all the challenges, there is something about blogging that keeps drawing me back. Perhaps it’s the thrill of connecting with readers, the joy of expressing your ideas, or the satisfaction of seeing your ideas come to life on screen. It’s a passion that’s hard to give up, no matter how frustrating it may be.

So, as I embark on this tumultuous journey of blogging with sinking thoughts, I can’t help but wonder if there’s a silver lining waiting for me. Maybe it’s about embracing changes, finding new ways to engage your audience, and never giving up. After all, it’s not just about the numbers; It’s about the love of writing and sharing your thoughts with the world.

In the end, I may be clueless and frustrated, but I’m not ready to give up just yet. Blogging may have lost some of its allure, and the struggle is real, but it’s a passion that runs deep. And who knows, maybe one day, I’ll crack the code, and those visions will start coming again. Until then, I’ll keep typing, hoping for that defining moment. Dear readers, thank you for being a part of my journey and giving me personal insight into my WordPress problems.

Are you guys facing the same issue??

Do tell me !!!

30 day writing challenge

Poem on Confidence ( Day 1 of 30 day writing challenge)

7 Comments


In a world attracted by beauty ,glory and grace.
I sing a prose , not for my face ,but confidence
In verses ,I shall express this interesting stance, .

Years of social values, strict laws
My experience of the world was filled with arrogance and defiance,
We are trained to seek a path bathed in brilliance.
With resilience and competence as our guide,
Yet ,all this time we hugged ignorance, side by side.

With trials and compliance, we did find our way,
Still we lose a part that holds us sway.
In this dance of perfection we attempt to find our elegance,
Yet never Embracing existence, with eloquence.

So this prose is for us , for me and you
A sign to embrace quirks ,issues and grace ,
With assurance, we’ll rise above the whispers of nuisance,
Toward a place of peace and abundance.
In the realm of confidence, we take a stance,
Where mistakes are acceptable and not enhanced


Though those whispers of malevolence may try to impede,
Our confidence is what we need.
With benevolence and perseverance, we’ll face,
The beauty of life’s magnificence, exorbitant and free.

In the end, it’s our confidence that shines,
Guiding us through all the signs and lanes
With empathy and grace, we’ll commence.

For us to light the lamp of love ,
Together we will be able to light the stage ,
Hope this poem gives you confidence .
Remember, dear friend, confidence is what we send.
Strengthen thy self, to never let life let you mend.

So ,it’s officially day 1 of the writing challenge and I wanted to share something that I have often dealt with . Lack of confidence.

I always doubted myself more than I should and never gave myself due credit where I deserved.

So this is a poem for me and you , signifying that the world needs confidence more than what we think and to not let the whispers of the society to dim your light !!!!!

In case you want to be a part of the writing challenge , I will link the blog below !!!

Do comment your writings so I can repost the same !!!!

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Poems

Changes in Spring

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In the gentle, warm embrace of spring, .
It sparked a new life, a strange pursuit.
Flowers burst in a riot of colors, .
When nature wakes up from hibernation.

The sun goes up, the days grow longer,
We are all part of this rhythm of renewal.
The flowers burst in delicate grace, .
A moment of hope, a sticky embrace.

Robin’s song fills the morning air, .
A desire for happiness, unmatched.
The fields are grass and lush green, .
Beauty everywhere, a must-see.

Leaves begin to sprout from the bare trees, .
A whisper of life, no doubt.
The floral scent is sweet and very gentle.
As nature designs and harmonizes landscapes.

The bees dance in the gentle breeze, .
Between flowers and leaves, not so hard.
The bees gather pollen and sing,
Everything in this world in reincarnation has passed away.

The rivers are crystal clear.
The essence of life flows, without fear.
Animals wake up from hibernation, .
They are blessed with spring renewal.

Children laugh and play in the sun,
Their happy, harmonious voices.
As the winter hold strength provides the grip, .
A new chapter of life begins to unfold.

So, embrace this moment, pure and divine, .
A valuable sign of nature’s renewal.
hope, change, the infinite art of life, .
The beauty of spring always warms the heart.

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Healing: Finding Comfort and Strength in My Favorite Quotes

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Hеaling is an intеnsе and transformativе journеy that all of us undеrgo at somе point in our livеs. Whеthеr wе arе hеaling from physical wounds, еmotional wounds, or mеntal еxhaustion, thеrе is outstanding еlеctricity and capacity within thе rеcupеration procеdurе. Throughout my personal healing adventure, I have encountered many quotеs that havе dееply affеctеd mе, offеring guidancе, consolation, and concеpt. In this blog, I would rеally likе to present somе of my favoritе quotes insidе thе hopеs that thеy may warm your hеart and guidе you for your pеrsonal rеstoration journеy.

  1. “Healing isn’t a vacation spot, it’s miles of lifеlong advеnturе of sеlf-discovеry and sеlf-carе.”
    This quotе rеminds us that hеaling is not a quick fix or a givе up point that wе attеmpt to rеach. It is an ongoing systеm that rеquirеs ongoing sеlf-consciousnеss, vanity, and sеlf-carе. Each day givеs an opportunity for growth and hеaling whеn wе can monitor nеw layеrs of oursеlvеs and copе with our pеrsonal wеll-bеing.
  2. “In thе dеpths of achе wе discovеr thе strеngth to hеal and upward thrust.”
    In our darkеst momеnts, rеstoration can sееm bеyond our rеach. Howеvеr, this quotе supеrbly еncapsulatеs innatе rеsiliеncе. It bеliеvеs that from thе dеpths of our achе wе havе thе capability to harnеss our innеr light and risе abovе advеrsity and in thе long run find hеaling and rеnеwal.
  3. “Hеaling bеgins whilst wе includе our wounds with lovе and know-how.”
    Whеn wе rеsist or dеny our wounds, thеy rеmain and prеvеnt us from hеaling. This quotе rеminds us of thе significancе of acknowlеdging and accеpting our achе with kindnеss and know-how. By rеcupеration our wounds with lovе and compassion, wе crеatе a nurturing еnvironmеnt for hеaling to flourish.

  4. Hеaling is not approximatеly еrasing thе past, it is approximatеly locating bеauty in wounds.”
    Our wounds, еach bodily and еmotional, еndurе witnеss to our fights and rеmind us of our еnеrgy and rеsiliеncе. This quotе asks us to tradе our pеrspеctivе and noticе our wounds as a badgе of honor as opposеd to a sourcе of shamе. It еncouragеs us to discovеr bеauty and know-how in our hеaling journеy and to includе thе prеcisе talе instructеd by our wounds.
  5. “You havе thе еnеrgy to hеal, to еxchangе, and to crеatе a lifе packеd with joy and motivе.”
    This еmpowеring quotе is a gеntlе rеmindеr of our inhеrеnt powеr and capability. We need to bеliеve that rеcovеry is an intеrnal work and wе’vе thе ability to transform our livеs by way of еmbracing thе rеcovеry mannеr. It inspirеs us to harnеss our innеr assеts, crеatе plеasurе, and stay our rеal livеs.

Hеaling is a dееply non-public and transformativе advеnturе, . Thеy rеmind us that hеaling is not linеar, but instеad a gradual and multidimеnsional mannеr that unfolds through thе yеars. By accеpting our wounds, rеcupеration oursеlvеs with lovе and compassion, and acknowlеdging our inhеrеnt еnеrgy, wе can start a routе of hеaling that lеads to sеlf-discovеry, boom, and in thе еnd a lifе packеd with plеasurе, purposе, and succеss. Takеs it away. Lеt thosе changеs bе thе guiding light that brings consolation and concеpt on your hеart and soul as you circulatе forward on your hеaling journеy.

Do hope that these quotes help in your own journey ,serve as guiding light offering solace and inspiration.

This is one of my very old write ups but I love it even if it’s not perfect.

I decided to post it as it resonated with Caffeinated Philosophy s weekend prompt…

Hope you guys like it tooo!!!

What do you guys think !!!!!????

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The No Hard Feelings Paradox: The Struggle to Let Go!!!

8 Comments

I wanted to kill a person. Figuratively of course!!!
The hurt pain and emotions were all on their High and I felt anger like never before.
I just wished him dead I guess but I wanted a solution.
Complex human emotions made it worse. I wanted to follow the idea of “no hard feelings” but I found it so difficult to navigate. On the surface, letting go of grudges and moving on without bitterness appears to be a worthy endeavour. The truth, however, was far trickier and more challenging.

“No hard feelings” implies that we can let go of unpleasant feelings, setbacks, and complaints, relieving ourselves of a load of resentment. It entails the capacity for pardon and forgetfulness as well as the duty to prevent the effects of the past from tainting the present or the future.
No matter how good the idea of “no hard feelings” is, putting it into practice is frequently simpler said than done. My default response to being harmed or deceived is anger, despair, or betrayal for most humans it’s the same. These emotions have a way of staying in our hearts and minds. The “no hard feelings” state is therefore difficult to achieve.
For me, it was almost impossible.
I read and listened. I honestly never understood how was it so simple. The paper castle of no grudges and letting go, I couldn’t build it.
Am I built differently? Why couldn’t I do that? Will I ever be able to? Can I eventually be amicable with him?
So many questions and I wanted answers.
I started talking to people and everyone had the same thing to say !!!So here’s me giving you my version of no hard feelings.

We face challenges as we battle the anguish that has been inflicted on us in the early phases of trying to escape. 

Avoiding uncomfortable emotions might result in downward spirals of resentment and sadness. We could initially need to travel in the past, repeat traumatic experiences, and feel intense emotions. With continual ups and downs, it can resemble an emotional roller coaster. Pain manifests itself in unexpected ways, making us doubt our capacity to actually advance.
We can find it difficult to comprehend emotions at this moment. By attempting to let go too quickly or by not giving the grief we are feeling enough weight, we might question whether we are failing ourselves. This internal struggle can strengthen our resentment and deepen the cycle of sadness.


We may eventually achieve a degree of emotional detachment rather than genuine “no hard” states as time goes on and we gradually digest our feelings. This distance is more of a defence mechanism than a sign of healing. This occurs when we stop feeling emotions and defend ourselves against more injury.
It’s crucial to know that emotional detachment does not equal meaningful resolution or emotional progress, despite the fact that it may offer momentary respite. Instead, it might be a sign of emotional restraint or a reluctance to confront suffering. Acknowledging the hurt, comprehending its ramifications, and actively striving towards genuine forgiveness and development are all necessary for meaningful healing.

Hard feelings are unavoidably difficult to achieve. It necessitates reflection, self-worth, and a readiness to confront past wrongs. Cycles may be present in the process of sadness, bitterness and even emotional withdrawal. However, it is important to remember that emotional detachment is not a substitute for true determination and healing.
Understanding our feelings, allowing ourselves to grieve, and working towards forgiveness are all important steps in avoiding unpleasant emotions. It is an adventure in self-knowledge, development, and acceptance. Keeping these things in mind

When find comfort in genuine healing, we might expect to negotiate the intricacies of human emotion.
Even if it can be challenging to fully realise the goal of no resentment, making a commitment to comprehending and managing our emotions paves the way for a more fruitful and genuine existence.

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Reviews

“Ex Talk: A Captivating Journey of Love, Honesty, and Self-Discovery”

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Rating – ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I honestly didn’t pick this up intentionally. I had one audible credit to exhaust and the synopsis looked interesting plus radio and audio books , sounds like a dream combo.It did!!
I liked the book .

For me , books personally,have the ability to transport us to other worlds, elicit emotions, and instruct us in useful lessons. The delightful contemporary romance novel “Ex Talk” by Rachel Lynn Solomon takes readers on an immersive journey of love, honesty, and self-discovery. “Ex Talk” captivated me from from the very beginning to the very end thanks to its compelling characters, intricate relationships, and themes that provoke thought.


“Ex Talk” presents Shay Goldstein, a public radio producer facing a unique challenge to boost ratings. To do so, she teams up with her nemesis, Dominic Yun, to host a radio show where they pretend to be exes and offer relationship advice. What makes the story compelling is Shay’s relatable character, as she battles self-doubt, insecurities, and the fear of revealing her true self. Her growth throughout the story resonated with me, who can empathize with and cheer for her.

The novel delves into the themes of authenticity and vulnerability, emphasizing Shay’s journey to find her voice and embrace her true identity. The importance of honesty and vulnerability in building genuine connections is highlighted, showcasing the power of being authentic for personal growth, healthy relationships, and happiness.

The relationships portrayed in the book are dynamic and emotionally rich. Shay’s friendships and her complex bond with her bestfriend feel genuine and layered. The chemistry between Shay and Dominic captivates readers, drawing them deeper into the story. The author expertly explores multifaceted relationships, capturing the nuances of love, friendship, and family dynamics, adding emotional depth to the narrative.

Communication and miscommunication are central themes in “Ex Talk.” The consequences of assumptions, withheld truths, and the significance of direct and honest dialogue are explored as Shay and Dominic navigate their radio charade. Effective communication is highlighted as vital for understanding, trust, and the growth of any relationship.

The transformative power of growth and change is beautifully illustrated in this novel. Shay’s personal journey involves confronting fears, seizing new opportunities, and pushing her own boundaries. Through her experiences, we are reminded that personal growth often requires stepping outside comfort zones and embracing the unknown. Shay’s evolution serves as an empowering example of finding strength, pursuing passions, and embracing change.

In conclusion, “Ex Talk” by Rachel Lynn Solomon is a compelling contemporary romance that delves into themes of authenticity, vulnerability, and personal growth. The relatable characters and intricate relationships resonate with readers, leaving a lasting impact. The novel reminds us of the importance of honesty, communication, and embracing change, creating a memorable reading experience.
So do give it a read !!!

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Blogs

My yellow,My friend 💛💛

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There are good days, and then there are bad days. Days that exhaust you and make you feel at your lowest. Where you beat yourself up and let scars scar. On those days, I crave my yellows to remind myself that I am a yellow too.

What’s yellow, you are thinking?

(This was one of the terms that I learned from my YouTube dictionary as a hashtag.)

Ideally, yellow is a person you love, you label it as the person being your yellow. It’s inspired by the “Yellow” song by Coldplay.

“I swam across

I jumped across for you

Oh, what a thing to do

‘Cause you were all yellow”




But the word has so many layers. Maybe today I m in one of those writing and introspective moods that I am here to put my chaotic thoughts into paper.

My first thought was why did they insinuate it with the colour yellow ??

Is it because it symbolises sunshine? Or warmth or a mixture of both.

Google had no answer and I realised it was open to interpretation.

So for the time being the definition for me right now for yellow is you. You are my yellow.

Because the impact that my yellows had on my life is significant because they made me a better person to be in a better place. So I want to thank them in my way, ie, by writing.

The yellows in my life, the friendships we have, are like vibrant colours that add beauty and purpose to my existence. They are like the indelible stains on my life, stains a reminder of things that I am grateful and lucky to have.

Among the kaleidoscope of friendships, I am blessed to have a friend who embodies being my yellow.

So today, it’s a yellow day, a celebration of being yellow, for having a yellow and the profound impact.

The light of positivity 

 You, my yellow, is a light of positivity, a bundle of joy even when you don’t feel like that. You have ounces of optimism inside you, even when you think you are pessimistic, it shines through you. You help me to find my silver lining and pull me out of my shadows. On the days I beat myself up, you remind me that the sun will rise tomorrow again and with it, new opportunities will come for you and you will find your spark again.

 The warmth of my empathy.

 You, my yellow, have an abundance of empathy. You have an innate ability to understand and share in my joys and sorrows, you being my safe space. Your compassion and no- judgement attitude has bought me comfort and also taught me to be there for others when in need.

 The energy of adventure

 On so many days, I would be just snuck inside my blanket reading, if it wasn’t for you. Your adventurous spirit is honestly contagious and I m not complaining. Exploring uncharted territories, trying out new hobbies, and your zest for life, you have motivated me to step out of my comfort zone.

 The glow of support

 Support is such a small word but it means the world to people. You bring that glow to my life, my support system.

 How can someone provide such unwavering support? You believe in me, even when I don’t, you remind me to stop doing swot analysis and Focus on strengths and opportunities and work on my weaknesses while not being a threat to myself.

 You help me to reach new heights and you are my cheerleader. Yes I do vision you wearing short skirts and carrying pompoms and dancing for me .

 The beauty of authenticity.

 You are unapologetically authentic, and effortlessly flawless in my eyes. And , no one can take that away from you. In the world of Barbie dolls , I am in awe of the person that you are, that sometimes ,i feel like you are A AI clone impersonating human like behaviour , that it scares me . But on most days I m grateful , grateful to see your authentic raw real self. I like honest people. And you top my list .

 Why am I writing this? To celebrate your uniqueness. In a world that encourages conformity, you remind me to let my true colours shine.

 You have your flaws too and I, sometimes, am fueled to murder you ,but you illuminate my soul. You have taught me more lessons than my school textbooks. You are my sunshine. So today let me be yours. I hope I brighten your day because, in the dictionary of life, I m very fortunate to have you as my yellow, my friend and I hopefully will love you forever.

 So, my fellow human being. You are yellow too !! At least my yellow because you bring joy to my life.

 What motivated me to write this?

 This week has been chaotic for me, I am still adjusting and somehow, I didn’t find time to write. 

 Because of so many changes, I have been overwhelmed and I started to overthink. Not a good signnn!!!

 And someone had to remind me that I m a yellow in their life.

 Sometimes the simplest things said in the simple ways open up your heart in so many ways.

 So this is an attempt to do that.

 A simple writeup of me telling that you are yellow to me, to lift you on days when you beat yourself up !!

 I will always be there for you through my writings.

 So hang in there, my yellow 💛

 Love you 3000

 Sending lots of love hugs and positivity

 Poestoryporium 

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Poems

Testimony

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In the kingdoms of life’s endless dance,
Where blessings glint at every chance,
Let me craft a poem, abridged and true,
To hymn of benefits that grace me and you.

Oh, benefits, you implausible light,
Superintending us through the murky night.
Like a mellow drizzle on withered Gaia’s embrace,
Ailmenting our hearts with copious grace.

First, health and vigour, a treasure untold,
A vibrant body, an essence bold.
From head to toe, vitality glow,
A priceless gift, we forget to cherish and know.

Then, knowledge’s gift, an unending well,
Opening minds, like an astonishing spell.
In books and teachings, wisdom resides,
Debuting new worlds, where insight abides.

Financial gain, an accessory so grand,
A shield against life’s shifting sand.
With ample means, dreams take flight,
And burdens are eased with sheer delight.

Love’s tender touch, a blessing supreme,
A radiant flame, a blissful dream.
Through friendship’s bond or romantic embrace,
Love intertwines hearts with lasting grace.

And peace, sweet peace, a tranquil balm,
Calming storms, restoring calm.
In troubled times, its solace we seek,
A sanctuary where weary souls can speak.

But let us not forget empathy’s might,
A benefit that ignites our inner light.
To understand and share another’s pain,
Fostering unity, breaking every chain.

These benefits, dear friends, are so divine,
In every facet of life, they intertwine.
Let us embrace them with grateful hearts,
And in their beauty, may our lives take part.

For in counting blessings, we find our worth,
In cherishing gifts, we renew our birth.
So let us celebrate these benefits bestowed,
And live a life with abundance and ode.

Hey hey hey, I know I have been m.i.a. But I haven’t fully settled in my place yet! But I will get back to writing as soon as I can !! On a completely different side note; we hit 500 subscribers !!! I am so grateful to each one of you !!! Keep showing me lots of love. Means the world to me (I want to say a lot of things but I will stop because if I do I won’t stop. What matters is, you guys have my heart.

This poem is very special to me because there was a time when I realised that even if everything around me is screwed up, I still had things for which I had to be grateful. It acted as a light for me and gave me the strength to wake up the next day. Sometimes, we need that, that tiny glimmer of hope, so today I give this to you.

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Sending lots of love, hugs and positivity,. Poestory porium.❤️

Newsletter

My Newsletter

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The title says it all !!! I have grown up reading newsletters and blogs !! My email has probably 14,000 mails and probably half of it is newsletters . So ,I have always wanted to start my own newsletter.

Honestly, when I started this blog, I always envisioned myself starting a newsletter after hitting a specific number and on my vision Board I Had predicted it to almost take a year.

But you guys have shown so much love for which I am forever grateful!!

So here we are 2.5 months later, Introducing my baby to the world.

It’s a weekly free newsletter that would be delivered directly to your mail with amazing content recommendations and everything and nothing.

I will spill some tea on my week we chit-chat and build our community, a community of raw unfiltered chaotic beautiful people.!!!

So, it would mean the world to me if you guys subscribe!!!

The first newsletter comes out tomorrow !!!

Thank-you u❤️❤️❤️

Poems

“Actions”

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In the domain of life’s exalted dreams, where aspirations take flight,
Actions emanate, splashing shades both ruinous and bright.
They speak louder than words, weaving stories untold.
Mighty soldiers, moldable destinies, courageous and bold.

With that effort, the labourer finds his way.
Building Rome, brick by brick, day by day
Each stroke is a sacrament of perseverance’s might.
Transforming perceptions into realities, shining bright

Through actions, artists dance with a dreamy embrace.
Fashioning masterpieces and breathing life into space.
A brush’s stroke, a poet’s verse, melodies that soar,
In each formulation, a sighting of the conscience’s deepest core

A helping hand was extended, a blessing bestowed,
Actions of empathy are the seeds of humanity they sow.
Mending trauma, patching hearts, tranquillizing faith,
These kinetics configure a universe where hope finds its phantom.

But actions, like a double-edged sword, can sway
Their cause and effect are beyond words.
In flashes of anger, decisions made in haste,
Can leave aisles of regret in their vindictive chase.

In words unspoken, in deeds left undone,
Lies the substance of inaction; probabilities are gone.
For time waits for no one; it tick-tocks ceaselessly.
Moments slip through fingers like sand from the sea.

So let us pace with purpose, guided by light.
Let sublime actions be our compass, shining bright.
For in this colossal tapestry of life’s design,
Our actions engrave the legacy we leave behind.

May our evolution be galvanised by compassion’s grace.
May our actions embolden us in every time and space.
For, in the end, it’s through actions that we define,
The essence of our being, our purpose, our sign.

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Blogs


Reflecting on the 60-Day Journey :

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(Celebrating 13,268 Views, 1,669 Likes, 382 Comments, and 440 Followers – wordpress)


Hey !!! I know you read the title and have an idea of what I would be talking about—the number of views I got on my blog within 60 days.

My thought process right now is: Should I post it or not? Am I bragging? Will this give someone anxiety? Is it worth it? Is it successful enough to talk about?
So, I’m incredibly nervous to put it out there, but this year I have been celebrating even my smallest wins as I want to be more grateful and not only focus on the big picture but find joy in little things. So I guess I wanted to share this milestone with you guys because you mean the world to me!
It’s incredible to think that 60 days have passed since I started my blogging journey on March 12, 2023. As I mark my blog’s 60-day milestone today, I can’t help but experience a mixture of joy, thanksgiving, and introspection. I want to share my great points, difficulties, and personal development. I have thus far encountered this post With 440 followers, 13,268 views, 1,669 likes, 382 comments, and a supportive community, it’s time to celebrate the accomplishments and show my gratitude to all the incredible people who have contributed to this trip.

Truth be told when I wrote the article about my 30-day journey, I never expected April to go phenomenally well because I was preparing for my exams and I barely wrote anything except some old blogs that were already scheduled. Nevertheless, you guys surprise me!


The excitement of 13,268 watches :

I had no idea when I originally started my blog that it would become so popular in just two months. It is both thrilling and humbling that 13,268 people have viewed my stuff. It gives me comfort to know that my views are getting across to people and that they are having a beneficial effect. I am sincerely appreciative of each view, which indicates a person who has taken the time to read and discuss my ideas, and somewhere along the line, I felt this blog was my voice, which I lost along the line. So many of you reached out, saying that this blog gave you a voice. Which honestly made me cry.

Engaging with 1,669 Likes:

Getting recognition for the information I produce is one of the most satisfying aspects of blogging. The fact that 1,669 people have liked my pieces thus far is proof of the value readers find. For me, this added validation, which is scary, but it fueled my creativity and made me understand what people liked.


Creating Connections via 382 Comments: Comments are the lifeblood of any blog because they enable deep dialogue and the emergence of connections. The 382 comments that I have so far received have improved my blogging experience. Every remark is a reflection of a reader who took the time to voice their opinions, pose queries, or share ideas. You have no idea the joy you bring me! By interacting with you guys through comments, I’ve been able to create a sense of community and gain knowledge from many viewpoints. I’m appreciative of my blog’s interactive features and the chance to interact with such a wide variety of equally amazing people, and I’m grateful for having like-minded people.


The Influence of 440 Followers:

When I first started writing, I had no idea that I would end up with a devoted following of 440 followers, more like friends. Each new follower is evidence of how much people enjoy my material and how much they respect me as a writer. Knowing that there are people out there who anxiously anticipate my posts and actively interact with them makes me happy. You guys have developed into my family that supports me, and for that, I am tremendously grateful. You guys are now more than simply readers.


While recognising the accomplishments, it’s also crucial to recognise the difficulties and developments that have come along with the journey. It requires commitment, consistency, and flexibility to develop a blog. Can I call it a successful blog? I don’t know, honestly, because all that matters is you guys. It hasn’t always been easy for me to think of new ideas, use my time wisely, and take the odd criticism dealing with imposter syndrome alongside. But every obstacle has helped me learn important lessons and improve my abilities as a writer and content producer. I am always learning and developing, and I am eager to face new difficulties with renewed confidence.

Things that have worked for me till now for my blog :

1. Engaging with you guys! It’s very important to engage because old readers will always have your back.

2. Authentic original content: be the real you because originality can’t be copied.

3. Analytics: I am a number geek, so I love to go through my analytics to understand your needs and my blog’s demographics better.


If you want a detailed post on my strategy, do comment!


As I think back on my blog’s 60-day anniversary, I’m incredibly appreciative of all the love and interaction I’ve gotten. More than simply numbers, the 13,268 views, 1,669 likes, 382 comments, and 440 followers signify a community of people who have enjoyed and supported my writing. In terms of both my personal and professional progress, I’m enthused about the future and forever grateful. Here’s to achieving more milestones and forever uplifting each other!

And I am really sorry if this came across as a bragging attempt or if it caused any of you anxiety . I never intended that. It will eventually work out we just have to work really hard.

Sending lots of love hugs and positivity to all of you amazing people !!!!
 

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Do share your thoughts as I would love to hear about it.

Blogs

Falling in Love timeline

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Hey !!! I know I have been missing, and there’s a reason for it! My exams have been going on, and I haven’t had the time to declutter my thoughts!
But today is one of those days where I need to pen it down; otherwise, the dam of emotions would flood!
So, I am at an age where people are dating or getting married. This is honestly weird because we saw each other do stupid stuff, and then you suddenly have a weird enlightenment bulb going inside your brain saying, “Congratulations, you have finally grown up.”
But have I? I’m still coming to terms with adulting, and I am already in chaos. I have watched thousands of videos of ‘ That Girl and Getting Your Life Together” vlogs, but my life is nothing as aesthetically pleasing as theirs.
Am I complaining? No
Because I enjoy this chaos, honestly.
It gives me a weird thrill to find and explore myself in chaos.
I get a high out of it.
And I am also slowly loving myself more every day.
So that’s a lesson in itself.
On the good days, I like the beautiful mess, but on the bad days, I ask myself so many questions.
So what do I do to cheer myself up? I read my old journal entries!
“On February 13, 2012, a young girl wrote in her diary that she would fall in love at the age of 21, among a lot of other timelines. She believed in Prince Charming and Cinderella shoes! Sometimes I am jealous of that little girl! Of how untainted and naive she was!
This is true because the same girl is chuckling while reading that diary entry! She hasn’t found love, but somewhere along the line she even stopped believing in it.”
This was one of the excerpts I read, and I have been thinking!
I haven’t found love, and I want to! I want to feel the emotions and everything in between somewhere along the line, even the heartbreak, to know what inspired the great writers to write such amazing sonnets and books.
Would my content be any different if I ever fell in love, or would I change?
Does it make me creatively superior to romanticise about every aspect of my life; we’ll probably find out in the future, hopefully.
So, now, the love gods, please have mercy and send me my prince charming.
I exactly know what you are thinking! She is desperate!
No, I have reached my self-sufficiency level, where I enjoy my own company and am more than happy with myself.
But there are days when I just crave that feeling of wholesomeness and attachment.
Where do I reach out, to seek my Atlas, Noah, or Augustus?
As a hopeless romantic, that feeling intensifies.
Am I being weird ???
I have so many questions…
According to my fictional romantic podium, they advise you not to search for love as it happens at the most unexpected time.
So my next question is, “How do you know?”
How long are we supposed to wait? Shouldn’t we just take matters into our own hands? Isn’t it much simpler?
On a very random note, wouldn’t it be interesting if there was an alarm notification on your phone if you were in the near vicinity of your soulmate?
Maybe someday it will be, with AI and stuff, matching humans based on all your preferences and ideologies and creating clusters. I guess that’s Tinder on the soulmate level.
So isn’t love being duplicated or even coerced into an artificial setting?

I am going off track, I know! But think about it: from our younger selves to now, we have been taught that love is beautiful! But I blatantly disagree! Love is also ugly; it’s transformative and an uncharted territory. For each person, it’s a journey of its own. The twists and turns, emotions, heartfelt exploration, exhilarating beginnings, and profound depths of a simple yet beautiful connection
It’s a poem in itself.
Starts with self-love, as you have to be whole before you seek comfort from others. A plethora of introspection, healing, and cultivation, embracing strengths, and admitting your vulnerabilities often lay a good foundation of love as you seek contentment in yourself before reaching out to anyone else! Why were we never taught this? Our school stories started with Cinderella needing a magical wand to feel beautiful, but she wasn’t. She failed to see herself as anything but a person with low self-esteem and dependence syndrome.
It’s weird how now when I look back at fairytales, they are a mess of their own.
Why am I writing this? Because I know many of us feel the timeline is foggy, but it’s okay foggy, but it’s okay! You are way too amazing, and the other person is searching for you, I promise, or you can just take matters into your own hands.
Love is a serendipitous feeling, and that encounter unfolds something extraordinary.
It’s filled with triumphs and trials, compromises, and emotions, from intoxicating highs to challenging lows. You learn lessons, you make compromises you adjust as sparks aren’t everything to face storms of turmoil.
It’s a catalyst for love and growth. It’s an evolution in itself.
So your timeline right now may seem bleak, but trust me, it will be a testament in itself.

How do I know all this? Books and annoying love-struck friends.
I have reconciled my faith in love, and I’m giving love another chance.
Am I knocking on the door? No
But I am also not putting a lock on my door.
So this is where I tell you to hang in there and not get paranoid about your timeline of love.
Because it will eventually happen.
When it happens, you will have a high of your own.
Till then,
Sending lots of love and positivity.

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Poems

Beware

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Beware
Of the sun, we must beware
When we are gliding through the air.
Though truly happy,we must beware
For happiness can also scar
Maybe the trick is to be taken by surprise
And lady be wise, 
The way to make you do that final sacrifice
The dream is real for those who dare,
Before we even know it’s there,
There are shadows all around me, telling me to beware
Agitating, craving words
betraying me to the dark
Prisoner of my own fear
Representatives and foul play getting the rear
Sorrow ,grief and despair
They’re choking my air
Yet raise the sights, the city lights are calling
We’re ready tonight, the time is right, There’s nitro in the air
In the street is where we’ll meet,
we’re warming On the beat,
we won’t retreat, beware!!!

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Blogs

Dear Best friend,

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I was deeply skeptical before writing as I know the internet can be a weird place but I wanted to because you are a huge part of my life, the reason why I m sane and still not so broken is because of you. So, you deserve the love and attention on my blog because you deserve nothing else. ( Mind you, I m very possessive about the content I put on my blog)
So, my fellow human,
Today is your special day and I just want to take a moment to let you know how special you are. I could get you gifts but I wanted you to have a part of me, a part that I am good at, ie, words. So I wanted to write this because, on days when you are feeling low, you can come back to this. Because the world may torment you to feel like you are worth nothing, but I will always remind you that you are my Helen of Sparta and I could start or fight the Trojan War for you.
On a more formal note, first and foremost, I want to thank you for being my friend. You have been with me through thick and thin, and I don’t know what I would do without you. You are the one person I can always count on to lift me when I am feeling down and to make me laugh when I need it the most. Your unwavering support and kindness have gotten me through some of the toughest times in my life, and I will be forever grateful for them. looking back, I wouldn’t have survived my hardest days if it wasn’t for you. I know you see my vulnerability and brokenness behind the facade of sarcasm and annoyingness. I don’t even know whether it’s an actual word, but describing you through words is also difficult !!! It’s become too cheesy! But that’s what you get!
But you deserve this because you are my hype brigade, if it weren’t for you I would never give the credits I deserve and I probably will die of impostor syndrome but you hold me gently and make me realise I m not the villain of my story.
So today i want to remind you of the same .
You have been through so much in your life, yet you always manage to keep your head held high and your spirits up. Your resilience and perseverance inspire me to be a better person, and I am in awe of your courage and determination. Whenever I am feeling lost or hopeless, I think of you and all that you have overcome, and it gives me the strength to keep going.

Another thing I love about you is your sense of humor. You always know how to make me laugh, even when I am feeling my lowest. Whether it’s a silly joke, a funny meme, or just a goofy expression, you never fail to put a smile on my face. Your humor has helped me through some tough times, and I don’t know what I would do without it. we have cribbed over guys and our lives and for all of that I am so grateful to have you in my life, and I can’t imagine going through all these moments without you.

You have never judged me for my mistakes, but you have always held me accountable for them. So , i want you to do the same for you once . See your worth because even diamonds lose their shine infront of you .
I want you to know how much you are loved. You bring so much joy and happiness to those around you, and I am so lucky to call you my friend. Thank you for being the amazing person that you are, and for making my life so much brighter. I love you more than these words could ever express. Be a good friend And get me a boyfriend, for god sake !!🤣

I can go on and on, but it would be a bit too much and nobody reads for this long!!
So I want to list 24 things for you to look back on when you feel low because you may see the flawed version and be self-critical of yourself, but all I see is an imperfectly perfect person who fits in my life perfectly as my jigsaw puzzle.

1. Your kind heart always shines through.
2. You make me laugh with your humour and wit.
3. Your honesty and integrity are unwavering.
4. You are always there for me when I need you.
5. Your creativity and imagination inspire me.
6. Your intelligence and curiosity are truly impressive.
7. Your sense of adventure makes life more exciting.
8. Your thoughtfulness and consideration for others are heartwarming.
9. Your positive attitude is contagious and uplifting.
10. Your beauty radiates from within.
11.Your loyalty and commitment to our friendship are unmatched.
12.Your generosity and selflessness never cease to amaze me.
13.Your ability to empathize and understand others is a gift.
14.Your strength and resilience in the face of adversity are inspiring.
15.Your confidence and self-assuredness are admirable.
16.Your hard work and dedication to your goals are admirable.
17.Your passion and enthusiasm for life is contagious.
18.Your grace and poise in any situation are impressive.
19.Your wisdom and insight always astound me.
20.Your willingness to help others is inspiring.
21.Your ability to forgive and move on is a valuable trait.
22.Your authenticity and genuineness are rare and special.
23.Your infectious energy and positive spirit are a blessing.
24.Your unwavering faith in yourself and others is admirable.
These are just a few of the many reasons why I love you.( Also being too sweet doesn’t fit my persona , let me go back to being myself) You are an amazing person, and I am so grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for being you, and for always brightening my day with your presence.

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Poems

Rear view

30 Comments

Rear view :
Months passed , the loss persists,
Writing helped , but the pain still exists,
Deeply sceptical about love and wrath,
But I’d promised to never lose faith.

Moving in is mutual , I wish moving on was too,
Sleep is easy after a pill or two,
Waking up with that fake smile is constant,
None of which would have happened,if you weren’t so distant.

The sweeping fierceness which my soul betrayed,
The skill with which wielded the keen blade;
The bright world dim, and everything beside
Seemed like the fleeting image of a shade.
Which no thought of living spirit could abide.

I breathe but it’s not air ,
Something else in the wind,
Calm and empty, a rush of silence,
Yet plenty and whole, a vacuum of stillness,
I seem to have been paused
somewhere along the way.

Now it’s time to resume,
Heading towards the start of the play,
No drum rolls, no intros,
Just a smooth shift of state
In, then, out of time,
A second, maybe less ,
Growth, taking up an instant,
Change, stealing away each moment,
Set to sail on the turbulent waves,
Whose effects are none to
the eyes that witness,
To the ears that listen and
to the hands that touch…

Wishing that maybe
Maybe my soul was carried away,
out into the openness,
Beyond the horizon,
Across the marvels of the universe ,
Perhaps even closer to home,
Maybe there’s a world bigger than the world,
A world that never talks,
A world that never betrays.

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Blogs

30 days ,14 posts ,279 followers ,1000 likes,6000 views

32 Comments


Thanku fellow humans,

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 30 days since I started my blog. In some ways, it feels like it’s been a lot longer, and in others, it feels like it’s only been a few days. Nevertheless, hitting the 30-day milestone is a significant accomplishment for me, and I wanted to take some time to reflect on the experience so far.

Starting a blog is something that I’ve wanted to do for a while now. I’ve always enjoyed writing, and I’ve always been passionate about sharing my thoughts and ideas with others. But for some reason, I never got around to actually starting a blog until now. Looking back, I think a big part of the reason was fear. I was afraid of putting myself out there, of being vulnerable, of being judged. But I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of holding myself back, and I was ready to take the leap.

The first few days of my blog were both exhilarating and terrifying. On the one hand, it was amazing to see my writing out there in the world, to see people reading and commenting on my posts. On the other hand, I was constantly second-guessing myself, wondering if anyone was actually interested in what I had to say. But as the days went on, I started to find my rhythm. I started to feel more comfortable with my voice, and I started to gain more confidence in my writing.

One of the things that surprised me most about starting a blog was how much I’ve learned in just 30 days. The technical side of things, like setting up a website, choosing a platform, and optimizing for SEO. There’s the creative side of things, like coming up with topics, crafting headlines, and developing a unique voice. And then there’s the community side of things which is my favourite part , that is , you guys!!

One of the most challenging parts of the past 30 days has been finding the time to write. Between my full-time job, my social life, and my other hobbies and responsibilities, it’s been a struggle to carve out time for blogging. But I’ve found that when I’m passionate about something, I make it work. I’ve been waking up earlier in the mornings to write before work, and I’ve been staying up later at night to get in a few more paragraphs. It’s been tiring, but it’s also been incredibly rewarding.I also would be lying by saying I wasn’t sidetracked by the hate comments , but you guys reminded me of going forward and stood as my pillar of strength.

One of the things that’s kept me going over the past 30 days has been the support of my friends and family. When I first started my blog, I was nervous about telling people. I wasn’t sure how they would react, and I was worried that they would think it was silly or that I was just wasting my time. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the positive response I’ve received. People have been reading my posts, sharing them with their friends, and leaving encouraging comments. It’s been a huge motivator for me.

Of course, not everything has been smooth sailing over the past 30 days. There have been times when I’ve felt discouraged, when I’ve wondered if it’s all worth it. There have been times when I’ve struggled to come up with ideas, when I’ve sat staring at a blank screen for hours on end. But I’ve learned that these moments are all part of the process. They’re the challenges that come with any creative pursuit, and they’re the things that make the victories all the sweeter.
Why am I writing this ? Is it to rub it on your face ? Are numbers that only matter to me ?
No ,I know the title was very catchy and selfish but honestly for me it’s not about the numbers or likes , but the community that I have build for myself . It’s like my safe and comfort space which I am very grateful for . This post for me is on the days when I am low , questioning my self worth and battling my insecurities because i tend to do that a lot .
So I want to celebrate each and every milestone with you guys!!!
Because you are my biggest cheer leaders!
I remember journaling that nobody would like my writings but boy , you guys proved me wrong and that feeling is intoxicating and a new high for me .
So thanku ,
On a side note i read 28 books from the beginning of the year .Do you guys want book recommendations or reviews , comment down below!!!
And I know I am not active with my blog and this specific blog was written a long time ago i couldn’t post it because I am dealing with a personal loss. So i will get back to writing i promise when i feel better !!
And one of my poems got published ( REAR VIEW)
Here’s the link- https://wp.me/p6OZAy-1Q5y
Do check it out !!!


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Blogs

Has reading lost its charm ?

124 Comments

Being in the 21st century, where everything is fast-paced, I feel like reading has been forgotten. Especially introspecting my life, I felt reading has lost its path, and what exists now is valorized reading.

Something like reading for the sake of reading

As we jump from one sensation to another, from one controversy to another, with an Instagram filter on our minds, this makes me realize that somewhere along the line I forgot to read and that a lot of other people did too.

We can blame it on our short attention span, but at the end of the day, we all reach out for something easy, short, and instrumental, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it because we live in perpetual amnesia that is triggered by the world being fast and urgent. 

The constant feeling that I will miss out is something that triggers me to take my phone almost every hour, and it’s also something that has triggered a lot of anxiety in these last couple of months.

As I wrote down my thoughts, I figured I had given up on reading and writing somewhere along the line.

And this is an attempt to get back to reading.

If you, my friend, also gave up on reading, you can start again. I’m here to accompany you.

For me, the earliest memories of reading were when I was three and on train journeys. How dad used to get me a magic pot so that I wouldn’t be an annoyance

I am still an annoyance, but my love for books is something that hasn’t left.

Being brought up in a humble household, one of the things that my parents never said no to was books. I used to demand books as presents for every exam I passed. 

I still remember borrowing books from friends and libraries and finishing them in two to three days because I loved the rush.

It came to a point where I was reading Jeffery Archer’s When the Crow Flies instead of my history books before my 10th board exams.

Do I regret it? Noooooo

The rush of having that imagination, the rush of going into a parallel universe where I portray the main character, seeing myself in situations, deciding what I would have done and what I wouldn’t, and complex storylines with spicy images keep playing in my head as a slow-motion movie. Enough that someday I could lend my brain cells to Elon Musk to make an extraordinarily brilliant movie.

All these emotions and memories are something that is beyond description.

Books have led me to a web of my past, present, and future, like an island universe that’s interlinked but not yet linked.

For me, a book does affect me; I feel pangs of grief, motivation, empathy, and all the emotions in between as the character develops. It is a small, intimate space of mine that nobody else has access to—sort of a mysterious realm.

Nothing is linear in life, and as life progresses, one of the things that I gave up was books.

Is there a specific reason? No 

But I kind of discovered recently that one of the reasons why I had given up on reading was the anxiety in choosing a book.

The fear that I would miss out on this year’s nominations, what if it isn’t good, and this eventually felt like a job, not the one I liked, Going through reviews and feeding on people’s opinions got so tedious that for me reading lost its wonder in this process.

I missed picking out random books from shelves, going with my gut, and thinking it might be a hit. Even if it wasn’t, I would at least be able to take something away.

Now, this screams of slobbishness and elitism, but it is what it is: I was consumed by valorized reading, and I started mimicking other people’s choices instead of giving in to what my heart wanted.

Now, why am I writing this? Humans as a whole are very creative animals, and creativity being the buzzword in this digital era, I wanted to start reading again , be soaked in creative juices .

And I have started again, and the feeling is amazing—not bound by social pressures but doing something from a thick desire.

I don’t want to be a person who is limited to WhatsApp archives; I want to go beyond the perfect sentences and let imagination take its toll. And for this reason, books are my comfort space.

Feel sheer joy and delight, feel uncomfortable, have butterflies in your stomach, cry, and feel all the emotions as I turn every page.

I would say you also just need to give a short

I’m not going to preach a lot, but in the end, there’s so much knowledge to consume. Take anything—a newsletter, audiobooks, nonfiction classics—to feed your soul.

To bring calmness into this fast-paced life 

To hold back and embrace emotions and to know yourself better, a book is all you need.

My current read is The ISIS Hostage by Puk Damsgard.

I’m ending this blog with a short poem I wrote on books.

“Now, it’s all being done in the past,

It’s all been written in the book,

and makes you think nothing ever lasts.

Maybe it’s something worth another look.

A string of words floats with fear.

And it encompasses all the emotions in this book.

Nothing is ever black or white.

Nothing comes easy off the hook.

I see people holding on to their past as a book.

Hating themselves more as they look”

If you have read till now, you have discovered my writing is as haphazard as it can get.

And that’s me, all over the place.

So do reach out to me and connect with me so we can share our books and recommendations and get chatty about it.

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Poems

Journey

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Don’t take it serious; life’s so mysterious.
With aid indifferent and imperious,
Leading to a stroke of mad poetic thoughts to make it confute and curious,
We keep it to ourselves, with nobody else around to make us delirious,
From being confused ,or just being vicious.
Reality an antonym of being luxurious.

Years of learning, still never got it right from the start,
Incurious to the criteria which set that apart
All the little efforts were never too serious
Was termed delirium and oblivious.
On the mic of life, leave that to the experienced they say
Yet dreams reality and illusions just being a gateway
Scars and broken wings were never a full stop,
In the book of life to stand at the top.
The remedy always being the experience
That being the dangerous liaison
For ages a bane or a boon lays upon.

Let the Summer in eyes not turn to winter
Partake as it all transforms to stone.
And let the wounds be a bygone .
As mortal as dreams of our own.

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Blogs

Dear girl in pyjamas

19 Comments

“A smile on the lips so wide,

yet there is no twinkle in her eyes.

with darkness on her side

and no one to abide. “

I know this was the line in your 4th grade notebook where you wrote “no one.” You used to hide in libraries and indulge in fiction, creating characters and storylines that were sometimes a bit out of the ordinary for a kid. That was the time when your English teacher told you you had a way with words; it boosted your confidence, yet you felt you weren’t like the other kids. You failed to fit in, and that made you terrified. Why am I telling this to you today? To see from my pov to see how far you have come and I am so proud of you. Every time you won, you topped yourself, or someone appreciated you, you couldn’t see what others saw in you. You always strived to be the best when you were already doing well. You only wanted to be the best, but sometimes better is okay and fine. So this monologue is to remind you of the tiny things you fail to notice with respect to all your flaws, which you are obsessed with in terms of improving. I am not saying that it’s wrong, but you need to accept yourself as a total package and not certain versions of you.
 
I know the world sees you with all your imperfections and flaws and is kind of judgmental, but I love the way you are—maybe more than you can imagine. I know that to reach here was difficult and realizing that you are actually worth something has been a long route, but you have made it finally. And I’m so proud of you, bruh. The girl who loves pyjamas and is happy to be stuffed in bed with some thriller novel and a glass of black coffee can be called mundane to the world, but you are happy, and that’s what matters, isn’t it?
The way you care and are ready to bring the world down for the people whom you love is something that is small yet huge. The smile on your face and how your face lights up even with the tiniest compliments is something that catches my eye. The way you play with a street dog or a toddler, or the way you tease your friends, the way you laugh as if you have had an asthma attack, and all those facial expressions when you see the cringeworthy moments, I would say those are tiny bits of you that normal people miss. Maybe your best friend is right: you would never get a boyfriend because you hate cringy stuff, cheesy dialogues, and unnecessary gifts. But it’s okay. I know you believe in understanding, loyalty, and being with them rather than monetary items. You are hardworking and determined. Your ideologies and morals are the foundation on which so many relationships exist. The world sees you as an introvert, but only a few know the real you, and I am proud of you. You are perfect in all your imperfections.
You fail to see what your friends see in you. You are so critical of yourself that you hold yourself to the highest level of accountability, and sometimes you need to let go! Maybe sometimes you don’t need to give your 100%; your 80% is more than enough for the world. Let yourself breathe, and do not confine yourself to the dictionary of life. Don’t go by the book to live your life. The words “success” and “failure” are relative. Give yourself a break too.
You weave words in such a fashion as to form reality, portraying yourself as a wandering soul.
searching in implications, to construct a paradise of your imagination. But amidst all this, you forget that you are human too! I can write about your shortcomings, but I don’t want to, not today. Because today is about celebrating the real you, the one with imperfections and flaws, and accepting you for who you are.
So, my pyjama girl with a grumpy face, you are the best in my eyes and in the eyes of all the people who love you. Certainly you have had bitter experiences, downfalls, and days when you used to binge watch, have a book marathon, or eat like you haven’t eaten in days. But it’s okay; you have come this far, and I am sure you will survive the Rubik’s cube of life.
Your’s lovingly,
The girl who knows you in and out

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Poems

Dear uncertainty

19 Comments

Dear uncertainty ,
Strange things can happen when faced with adversity
At this stage , i am looking at you with all urgency,
I wish a superman could have saved that aeroplane,
But thanks to you , it’s forever etched in my memory lane,
The rain god’s took out all their bash
And we took the crash,
And everything happened in such a flash
With 2020 I should have known and expected,
But you my friend , does nothing as I suspected,
And now I have accepted
Us against the universe, and human made disasters,
Covid , Flood , landslides and now a airplane crash ,

Yet i hoped for a tiny bit of Magic,
To change this whole dynamic,
And i as I look around and here I was reconnected,
For Humanity was being resurrected
Yes ,Death and these disasters leave an unbearable pain,
But we fight this together again with no complain
And this my friend is something insane
I know you will come again,
But we will sustain and remain
With lots of love and hugs to you my friend , uncertainty
Thanku for restoring my faith in humanity..

Blogs

Death

42 Comments


I write poetry with a clear head, and my blogs are potentially written when I am vulnerable.
Now, I guess I am vulnerable and overthinking, so that definitely calls for a blog.
For me, writing as a memory is associated with my mother, because she taught me how to write, and so writing on this topic makes it even more difficult.
It took me a lot of courage to start this blog, and I am exhausted and scared to put myself out there.
The blog was an escape for me. Not to face the real world, I guess?
This whole year was excruciatingly difficult for me.
Because death came knocking on my door and it was to visit my close ones.
I wish I could romanticise death as they do in movies and books, but I can’t!
How do you deal with the anxiety and grief of such complex emotions?
Every time I thought I could pick myself up from the ashes and patch myself up, it came knocking on my door again.
Loosing people isn’t easy; you feel like it gets better every time, but boy, are you wrong.
There’s no standard equation for dealing with death.
There’s no right way to grieve. You eventually have to find peace, and sometimes the memories keep haunting you.

I had made peace with death.
Until I saw it putting claws on my mother,
That honestly scared and scarred me.
Call it a privilege, but I never thought of losing my parents. I always thought they would be there as a constant with me. Even the thought of losing them never entered my head.
And the last couple of months have been a haywire in themselves.
I can’t describe the feeling of sitting outside hospitals, talking to doctors, and having to be an adult when all I want to be is a kid.
But I knew I had to put the mask on, so I moved cities to be closer to my parents and made sure I was there for every hospital visit.
It was frightening; every test result and every diagnosis was nerve-wracking.
The number of experts we saw was insane.
But I had to pretend I was okay because someone had to be strong.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t have bad days, but I knew it would get better some day.
So I held onto that hope.
Hope has an amazing placebo effect; it makes you feel good.
But it also helps you understand what is important.
And I understood that my parents were my number one priority.
Why am I writing this at 2:30 in the night?
Because today we are back home, and my mother is okay, safe but not perfectly healthy, but I am grateful and not complaining.
I feel a lot of emotions, and the past week has been anything but turmoil.
And on those days, I am grateful for the friends I have.
I was a planner all my life, but this experience put things in perspective for me.
Why am I putting this out there? Because if someone reading this now understands the emotions that you are going through, it is pretty normal.
sadness, confusion, anger, weirdness, anxiety, feeling left out and neglected, guilt, and being overwhelmed.
I have been there, and I understand you.
Do I exactly know what you are going through? No, because every person feels it differently, but you aren’t alone.
On one side, I am eternally grateful; on the other, I am anxious too.
But I guess that’s okay.
But I have also noticed we don’t speak enough about these moments.
We don’t let the world see how vulnerable we are as people.
So let’s be compassionate about people and the times that they go through, because nobody knows what they are going through.
I know it’s a dark topic to talk about, and I will probably wake up tomorrow morning and think why did I go dark again , but I want it to be out there !!
But, I also want to celebrate the lessons that I learned through the friends that stayed with me and cheered me up.
Because I would have been a disaster if not for them.
Am I suggesting that this traumatic experience is something extraordinary?
No, because even now when I think about what I went through last month, especially last week, it was traumatising, but it did make me stronger and a bit more mature.
I also don’t know how to conclude on this because I feel like there’s no certain way to end things on topics like these.
You just have to deal with it and figure it out, and even if you do, some days are just hard..

The thoughts keep coming back and everytime it’s much scarier but I also comfort myself saying , you are strong enough to handle it. You have people to rely on and you will survive it

Just like you my friend , who is reading this

I hope you don’t go through what I went through , but I also know if you did you are strong and I am here for you….

So, here’s something I wrote during that time,

“You are like an albatross soaring the high into
Spreading happiness and wittiness spotlessly with,
The dreams of an untainted, yet childlike innocent kid at heart
The paper heart filled with art,
Full of colours , empathy and thought
A canvas to paint with so many feelings to express,
Yet when i look at you everything else seem so bland
Your light and smile hits people so hard
That you want to reciprocate
When the snowy numbness crawls on us
You are the ray of light that i turn to,
White salty tears make it’s final fall
You become my tumbler
You are the piece of my life that conceals the lifeless life ,
You are more of an anchor than a friend
To forever and always till the end “

So stay strong and lots of love,

See you in the next bloggg;!!!!

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Poems

Hate comments

33 Comments


Growing up, I have always been in the spotlight, with competitions and my writing. Envy felt like a part of my life, and I got used to it. Nothing could break me. Perks of growing up in an Indian household with aunties and relatives being on your back the whole time!
But yesterday and today, I received tons of messages as comments, and trust me when I say this: hate isn’t the word I would use for that. I held onto it with a grain of salt and ignored it, more so because in the social media era, it’s common, but there was a feeling inside me that I couldn’t pinpoint, a feeling that it was someone I knew.
That would be devastating even for me.
I went into “gossip girl” mode with my friends, and they kept telling me I was overthinking as usual. Then another series of comments followed, calling me a slut, and a whore, and using all the slurs in the English dictionary, to bringing up my descendants, my parents, and even comments on my dating life, which is non-existent by the way!
Every time I put those comments in spam, I was this close to losing my mind. I wanted to reach out to that person to ask if he or she was okay. Creating a fake email with my username and then commenting on my posts felt more like personal vengeance to me, or he is utterly jobless.
But I didn’t reply or respond because I felt like it wasn’t worth it.
Yes , I know I have another set of amazing readers and friends whose empathetic voices I can hear inside my head screaming at me to ignore that person.
But I can’t, because it does affect you. I am not a brick, I have feelings too; I feel a lot, and this made me question a lot of things: should I have started this blog; was my poetry better hidden from the world; did I hurt someone so much that he was ready to go to this extent?
Am I a good person, or is my poetry sheer luck, as he calls it?
This feels like chaos, but all those thoughts came rushing into my mind when I read that.
Now, I know what most of you guys are thinking: she has unresolved insecurities. I don’t, because I am in a very good space.
But when I read a series of 15–20 essay comments by one person, all those insecurities that I had dealt with and had locked inside some deep chamber of my brain came back.
Am I ranting? Did it affect me? yes
Short and simple.
Because it straight up felt like bullying and pushing me into a corner, knowing exactly what buttons to push to trigger me.
and that makes me wonder. it’s a person who knows me or a sadist internet troll.
maybe that part hurt more, if it was a nameless troll hiding behind a computer screen saying my poetry sucks, I wouldn’t be so affected.

How did he know which buttons to push? So, I was adamant it was someone I knew.
So here I was going through my friends list to figure out who the person was. I went through all the scenarios, and I couldn’t find that person.
Would I like to know who it is? no,
because no matter who the person is—even if it’s a troll—he got me engagement and views.
for that, I am grateful.
and after a lot of unpaid therapy sessions with my friends, I figured it wasn’t someone I know.
because no one I know would go to this extent.

A troll who went through all my poems and writings, seeking inspiration from his life and wrote long paras for me , its romantic !!!

I am intrigued!!! Honestly in some fucked up universe, I would have even admired that person…Just kidding!!
and I had to remind myself that I am worth a lot of things and that my poetry is an expression of my imagination. maybe it’s sheer luck, but I am glad I have that luck and some amazing people who made me the person that I am today.
Why am I ranting like this? because it made me feel a lot of things, anxiety and dread are two of them.
Why am I posting it?
I don’t know, honestly; I can give the textbook answer that I want people to be sympathetic and have better things to do.
and I am sorry that you decided to vent all your anger on my page with some very , brutal wild and vulgar messages.
but thank you for the engagement.
you are my well-wisher!

This topic ends here , because I am not letting a nameless Internet troll who is probably drunk , keeps thinking about me to live in my head rent-free !!! I knew I had to write it out to let it all out !!;

I also found some very important learnings from this encounter , you need good people around you or its very easy to go down the spiral of insecurities and self hate .

And things affect people more in ways that people can’t imagine.It’s important to have criticism, but there’s a very big difference between criticism and hatred.
(yes, please shower me with healthy criticism; I need it.)
and no, I am not playing the self-pity card on getting hate. I knew long ago that on social media I would get hate, and I’m not going to take it personally, but this time it got to me. Next time, I will try to be better.

And I am going to take this opportunity to grow, because I have a lot to unlearn and learn.
So, I am going to focus on the good things, my beloved readers, and my good friends, and I am going to empathize with my haters.
and my “well-wisher” who spammed my comment section thank you for the content and a topic to write a blog on!
Please keep inspiring me to write because I am planning to stick around for a long while …

Lots of love…..

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Blogs

Why did I stop writing?

19 Comments

This week was ideally one of my good weeks. This blog of mine took off really well, and I have you guys to thank for that!
I had started blogging years ago and earned decent money from it too,gained a massive following but then I decided to delete it one fine morning.Yes I was dumb .But something in me broke that day.I hated that piece of me , I just wanted it to be erased and just like that my blog disappeared from the face of the internet and my life.

Everything triggered it, and I couldn’t handle it. People saw me broken and had so many assumptions. Some friends of mine even called me “dark and twisted” because my poetry genre was that. One day, it was just the tip of the iceberg when a friend of mine told me that I have two completely different personalities when it comes to the friend they know and the blog they read. I was so scared of people around me having opinions that I stopped blogging . Initially , i thought I would take a week off and get back to it .But whenever I sat down to write , i could see weird gazes and interpretations of me running in their head , some even vocalising it clouding the words and my emotions and I couldn’t put anything on the paper .I was scared , scared to be not accepted . And that made me claustrophobic, my own poetry made me claustrophobic.And I decided to stop blogging.

Now that I think about it, I knew it was immature of me to do that, but that 19 year-old didn’t know any better! Even people’s compliments felt fake and a conversation starter. They assumed I was too smart, but I wasn’t. I just had some teeny tiny creative juices flowing in my overthinking brain. Sometimes, I hate myself for that because I really want to shut my brain down and give myself a break too.

But now I have regrets. I have regrets about killing my baby when it was at its highest point. Regrets of disappointing lakhs of people , regrets that maybe my old blog would have reached at a height that I could never fathom.But looking back, would I do it again? Yes . A complicated answer for a very simple question .This “yes” has so many layers attached to it. The insecurities in me wasn’t happy with the immense response that it got. Even with this blog, the views, likes, and comments all seem so surreal as I have just started. The fear of being inside that glassbox someday is something that I am constantly working on, trying to not let it tackle me down again this time.I know all this sounds like I m selfish and all I care for is numbers . Honestly, no.I’m not a number person, but I do like to be appreciated and being acknowledged for what I write. Because growing up, I wasnt. Trauma does have a boomerang effect.I guess so !! The warmth of you guys relating to it keeps my juices flowing , sparks my creative wires, keeps me going.

Why am I writing this? Because today I felt the same thing—the fear of being judged for what I write? Would I be considered “dark and twisted” or am I mature enough? The overthinking went on overdrive till I started scribbling in my diary, and I honestly realized I couldn’t change the way people look at me. Some may consider me annoying, others too intellectual, and some crazy, but the real ones know me for me. Like me for who I am—and poetry is a part of me—this chaotic mess of words ,wittiness and emotions.
And I missed blogging. Seriously, I missed writing poetry and putting it out there, and I guess it’s okay. Because this is how I am true to myself, by being the real me. It was so hard to stay away from all this for the past two years, and I also know for a fact my writing isn’t at its peak, but it’s okay because I write for myself;i m happy , in a safe space of my own as the perfect poetry for me is my own.
Why did I crib so much today? Because today I had a conversation with my friend about how he missed my poetry and our open mics. He told me he missed my writing, and that’s when I opened up to him about my fears and the cycle of thoughts that led me to that standstill. He said I was an idiot, which I agree with, but moreso, I was too scared of being overwhelmed by people’s opinions and these rationalizations of the type of person that I was just because of my poetry, as I was used to being on the sidelines. It took me a lot of time to accept the broken, unbroken me, but I’m happy. happy to be back .

It’s so easy to fall into prejudices, and I just want to tell you it’s okay. But what’s more important is to pick yourself up and surround yourself with the louder voices of empathetic people who can shut the voices in your head. Because sometimes we do make dumb decisions, but what matters is how we deal with them afterwards and the choices we make to counter them.

Is it a philosophical class ? No , but I wanted to put it out there , I am not a perfect writer , nobody is . I have made dumb decisions and it’s okay .Just write for yourself , do what makes you happy . People can create illusions but what matters is how you paint them in your head .It took me a long time to figure this out . Letting go of all this wasn’t easy but i am glad I am painting my castle on my own .I am glad to have your back because I promise to be better.
 
 
 P.s . Yes , this isn’t a typical blog format with a proper structure but Im happy with it nevertheless , the chaos in me is what comes on my blogs and thats what makes it real and me. I promise I wouldn’t leave you guys stranded this time.

Thanku for staying till the end!!!