Hey !!! I know I have been missing, and there’s a reason for it! My exams have been going on, and I haven’t had the time to declutter my thoughts!
But today is one of those days where I need to pen it down; otherwise, the dam of emotions would flood!
So, I am at an age where people are dating or getting married. This is honestly weird because we saw each other do stupid stuff, and then you suddenly have a weird enlightenment bulb going inside your brain saying, “Congratulations, you have finally grown up.”
But have I? I’m still coming to terms with adulting, and I am already in chaos. I have watched thousands of videos of ‘ That Girl and Getting Your Life Together” vlogs, but my life is nothing as aesthetically pleasing as theirs.
Am I complaining? No
Because I enjoy this chaos, honestly.
It gives me a weird thrill to find and explore myself in chaos.
I get a high out of it.
And I am also slowly loving myself more every day.
So that’s a lesson in itself.
On the good days, I like the beautiful mess, but on the bad days, I ask myself so many questions.
So what do I do to cheer myself up? I read my old journal entries!
“On February 13, 2012, a young girl wrote in her diary that she would fall in love at the age of 21, among a lot of other timelines. She believed in Prince Charming and Cinderella shoes! Sometimes I am jealous of that little girl! Of how untainted and naive she was!
This is true because the same girl is chuckling while reading that diary entry! She hasn’t found love, but somewhere along the line she even stopped believing in it.”
This was one of the excerpts I read, and I have been thinking!
I haven’t found love, and I want to! I want to feel the emotions and everything in between somewhere along the line, even the heartbreak, to know what inspired the great writers to write such amazing sonnets and books.
Would my content be any different if I ever fell in love, or would I change?
Does it make me creatively superior to romanticise about every aspect of my life; we’ll probably find out in the future, hopefully.
So, now, the love gods, please have mercy and send me my prince charming.
I exactly know what you are thinking! She is desperate!
No, I have reached my self-sufficiency level, where I enjoy my own company and am more than happy with myself.
But there are days when I just crave that feeling of wholesomeness and attachment.
Where do I reach out, to seek my Atlas, Noah, or Augustus?
As a hopeless romantic, that feeling intensifies.
Am I being weird ???
I have so many questions…
According to my fictional romantic podium, they advise you not to search for love as it happens at the most unexpected time.
So my next question is, “How do you know?”
How long are we supposed to wait? Shouldn’t we just take matters into our own hands? Isn’t it much simpler?
On a very random note, wouldn’t it be interesting if there was an alarm notification on your phone if you were in the near vicinity of your soulmate?
Maybe someday it will be, with AI and stuff, matching humans based on all your preferences and ideologies and creating clusters. I guess that’s Tinder on the soulmate level.
So isn’t love being duplicated or even coerced into an artificial setting?
I am going off track, I know! But think about it: from our younger selves to now, we have been taught that love is beautiful! But I blatantly disagree! Love is also ugly; it’s transformative and an uncharted territory. For each person, it’s a journey of its own. The twists and turns, emotions, heartfelt exploration, exhilarating beginnings, and profound depths of a simple yet beautiful connection
It’s a poem in itself.
Starts with self-love, as you have to be whole before you seek comfort from others. A plethora of introspection, healing, and cultivation, embracing strengths, and admitting your vulnerabilities often lay a good foundation of love as you seek contentment in yourself before reaching out to anyone else! Why were we never taught this? Our school stories started with Cinderella needing a magical wand to feel beautiful, but she wasn’t. She failed to see herself as anything but a person with low self-esteem and dependence syndrome.
It’s weird how now when I look back at fairytales, they are a mess of their own.
Why am I writing this? Because I know many of us feel the timeline is foggy, but it’s okay foggy, but it’s okay! You are way too amazing, and the other person is searching for you, I promise, or you can just take matters into your own hands.
Love is a serendipitous feeling, and that encounter unfolds something extraordinary.
It’s filled with triumphs and trials, compromises, and emotions, from intoxicating highs to challenging lows. You learn lessons, you make compromises you adjust as sparks aren’t everything to face storms of turmoil.
It’s a catalyst for love and growth. It’s an evolution in itself.
So your timeline right now may seem bleak, but trust me, it will be a testament in itself.
How do I know all this? Books and annoying love-struck friends.
I have reconciled my faith in love, and I’m giving love another chance.
Am I knocking on the door? No
But I am also not putting a lock on my door.
So this is where I tell you to hang in there and not get paranoid about your timeline of love.
Because it will eventually happen.
When it happens, you will have a high of your own.
Sending lots of love and positivity.