It’s not one of my typical posts, but I still wanted to write and share it with you. It’s been a while since we last caught up, and I want to write more frequently. This is my attempt at doing so. After receiving a lot of hate comments in my recent post, I failed to acknowledge the love and support you all have shown me. Today, I am here to focus on the good and let it overshadow the negativity. Additionally, I’ve come to realize that I’ve lost my passion for writing, and my creative juices have stopped flowing.
So, this is a chatty blog. Fasten your seatbelts and get ready!!
Hello, I am Ally, if someday I am comfortable sharing my name I will tell you my name but like any other Indian name it’s complicated. It does contain “Al,” so you have part of my name!
So you can call me an ally
November for me has been difficult. Grab your cup of coffee to hear me rant .
November started with a bang. I had a spiking fever but I continued with my life nevertheless and persevered. But then hell broke down and I fainted thus making me weak and sick.
I met interesting people online in November and they intrigued me.
But it’s in the complicated phase if you know you know!!!!
The second week of November was me just pushing through struggling to make it alive but finally, I knew I had to stop take a pause and figure out things.
I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and take control of my life because I was a miracle.
During the third week of November, I spent a significant amount of time reading and going to the hospital. It involved taking a lot of fluids and medicines, but it also allowed me to read numerous novels. I rediscovered my love for reading, and even though my Goodreads count has to be updated, I managed to read almost 200 books this year..
that’s one thing that I am proud of about myself
The fourth week of November went by in a blur. I don’t remember much, but I did see some amazing shows and movies. Overall, November has been disappointing. It’s the end of the year, and I haven’t achieved anything miraculous, which is quite disheartening. However, I’m okay with not being on top of everything. I’m slowly learning to be grateful and get back to a good headspace. I know my writing has gone rusty, and I agree, but I’m here to make small changes and regain control over myself. One thing I realized and want to work on is my screen time, which is insanely high. I want to reduce it, so I thought I would start by setting timers on all my apps to prevent me from overusing them. I believe it’s always the small steps that lead to the big picture. I hope this change will be for the better. Thank you for staying with me !! Thank you for being so patient!!! Thanks for showing up when I needed you to show up even when I needed You guys have my heart and soul !!! (P.S. I know it’s haphazard but that’s just my style of writing! I am also not going to edit it much because I just want to put it out there!???
A small poem for you guys !!!
In words that dance, a grateful ode, For sticking by, on this blog road. Through lines I weave, you’ve journeyed far, A heartfelt “thank you,” like a guiding star.
Your readership, a cherished gift, In every post, your spirits lift. With each comment, a bond grows strong, In this blog world, where you belong.
So here’s my thanks, sincere and true, For every view and retweet too. Together we explore, create, and share, In this digital space, a friendship rare.
But right now, Honestly, the feeling of touching any of my drafts is overwhelming. It’s like a block of some sort. But the real reason is paranoia, writer’s dilemma and a continuous cycle of hate comments flooding in. It’s like a wave at this point. My highs and lows are a catastrophe. In the hallowed hours of the night, my writing brain sparks in. The soft glow of the screen illuminates my dim room. And I find myself overwhelmed with words that cut deeper than any paper wound.Emails once promised connection, now bring hate.
Writing, once a sanctuary for me, now honestly feels like a battlefield where the wounds are invisible but painfully real.
The hate mail, whispers doubts in the quiet corners of my mind. Each word is a tiny blade, leaving scars that may not show but linger nonetheless. The criticism I once welcomed has morphed into a relentless assault.I am scared of what may appear in my inbox. Nights feel heavy with such words, but quitting now is not an option.
Spam comments, like ghosts of genuine engagement, haunt the spaces where my connections used to thrive. Amid the algorithmic noise and automated gibberish, I miss the the authentic exchanges which are now buried.
It has been a lonely journey for me to go through the artificial interactions and search for genuine connections that once fueled my passion for sharing stories. The comments section, which was once a source of warmth and community, now feels like a barren and desolate place. I yearn for real connections, yet the silence is all I get, and filtering and deleting it feels like a chore that I don’t want to do.
I want to explore new realms of book reviews that delve into the heart of literature because I tend to read a lot . I want to suggest book recommendations with you all too. I want to write about murder case files that unravel the mysteries of human darkness because I have always been interested in human phycology and murder mysteries. Yet, fear holds me hostage like a vice.
Will my departure from the familiar be met with acceptance, or will I be sabotaged? A lone wanderer in uncharted literary territory? The uncertainty keeps knocking at my overthinking brain, overshadowing the excitement that should accompany the pursuit of passion.
And then there’s poetry my favorite genre, a form of expression that once flowed freely from the recesses of my heart. Now, the verses are stifled, caught in the crossfire of expectations and the fear of being scrutinized. The desire to write becomes entangled with the pressure to conform. I find myself hesitating, questioning whether the words I long to share will be met with acceptance or met with indifference. That scares me.
Amid this struggle, the dream of authentic book reviews and the fascination with murder case files flicker like distant stars. The desire to immerse myself in the written word and explore the depths of human experience remains, but the path is fraught with uncertainty. Will the world embrace my authenticity, or will it demand a conformity that threatens to extinguish the flame that burns within?
In these moments of vulnerability, I realize that the emotional toll of online writing runs deep. It’s not just about crafting sentences and paragraphs; it’s about navigating a labyrinth of emotions, where the highs of creative expression are accompanied by the lows of doubt and fear.However, despite the threatening shadows that envelop me, I refuse to let the flicker of passion be extinguished.d.
In the quiet hours, when the weight of words becomes too much to bear, I hold on to the belief that writing is not just about the clairaudiences about the journey, the process of unveiling the layers of my soul through words. The struggle is real, the wounds are raw, but within the vulnerability lies the strength to persevere. For every hateful echo, there is a whisper of resilience, and in that delicate balance, I find the courage to continue navigating the labyrinth, hoping that, in time, the echoes of love and understanding will drown out the cacophony of hate.
These are 15 lessons from the book “The Psychology of Money” that changed how I think about money, and hopefully, it can change yours too.
1.No one is crazy.
Well, I mean, some people are. What we experience makes up about 0.00000001% of what’s going on in the world, yet it makes up around 80% of how we think the world works. So when we see people freak out and sell everything when the market goes down or buy lottery tickets, we might think that is a crazy, irrational decision. No one’s crazy. If you were in their shoes, you might do the same thing.
2. Luck versus risk. Let’s say that I go out there, do some research, and buy a stock. Five years from now, maybe that stock either didn’t grow at all or maybe even lost money. It’s possible that when I bought that stock, I made a bad decision. It’s also possible that I made the right decision and just got some bad luck. There was stuff that was not in my control that happened. This stock could have had an 80% chance of making money, and it just so happened that I landed on that 20% chance that it wasn’t gonna work out.
It doesn’t mean I made a bad decision, necessarily. But it could also work the other way, where you just get dumb luck. You pick something that was a bad decision, and it ended up working out for you. This is important when it comes to listening to financial advice and taking action in your own financial life.
For example, Bill Gates happened to be in one of the only schools that had a computer in his state. If that hadn’t happened, maybe he wouldn’t be worth tens of billions of dollars. You never know how risk and luck are going to be involved in your decisions and how they can completely change everything.
3. Most of us have enough. We have enough to live on, to have food, to drink coffee, to have something to watch a YouTube video on. But we always seem to push for more – more power, more money, a bigger house, more clothes, nicer cars. And yes, I fall into that trap as well. For instance, when I hit the target of 500 followers, I wanted more. But seriously, we need to realise when we have enough.
Right now, I do have enough. Anything beyond that is a bonus, completely unnecessary. Sometimes realizing that, and if we can keep our needs few, then we can have enough a lot sooner than somebody else and be content in our lives.
4. Some things are just never worth risking to get more things, like our reputation, our freedom, our family and friends, and our happiness. The best way to make sure that we can keep all these things is not to risk any of them to have more than we need when we already have enough.
5. Compound interest. I’m gonna be honest; this is something I struggle with. When we see somebody who’s at the top of their field, whether that’s in YouTube, in business, in investing,or in a relationship, we want that result. But we want it now, and we don’t see all of the work and the years that went into that. For instance, if you look at Warren Buffett, he started investing when he was 10 years old. I don’t know what you were doing at 10, but I wasn’t investing. By the time he was 30, heha hit a million dollars. By the time he was 59, he hit 3.8 billion dollars, and now he’s worth almost 100 billion dollars.
But if he had started investing at 20 instead of at 10, that could have made an enormous difference in how much he’s worth today. A lot of times, we look at the results instead of looking at the compound effects that went into it.
6 .Plan on the plan not going according to plan. As Mike Tyson once said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.” So when we’re making plans for our financial lives, we should have plans for if those plans go awry. We should have emergency funds. We should be aiming to have probably six months to a year’s worth of living expenses in case things go wrong. What happens if there’s a recession, and you can’t withdraw your money from the stock market? What happens if there’s a housing crisis? Well, we don’t want to obsess about all the negative things that could happen in the world but structure our finances to be unbreakable.
7. Be a pilot of your finances. There’s an old saying with pilots that being a pilot is hours and hours of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror. A good definition of financial genius is doing the average thing when everybody around you is going crazy.
8. Freedom comes first. Honestly, I couldn’t agree with this more. That’s why I believe in financial minimalism all the time. It’s the idea that even doing something that you love on a schedule that you hate or with people that you hate can make it feel like something that you hate. So even if you love your job right now, focusing on building freedom in your life is what’s important. What if, in a year, you get a terrible boss or you hate your job or they try to move you or they do something or you hate your work environment or the schedule they put you on? We should be focusing on building freedom.
9.No one gives a… no one is as impressed by your material stuff as you are. Like, let’s be honest. When you see somebody driving that cool car, you don’t think that person is cool; you think the car is cool, or how cool you would look if you were driving that car. This is something that I used to struggle with, where I would always be focused on my clothes, my car, what people thought about me, my job, whatever it was, and how people perceived me. When, in reality, no one cares. They’re just worried about themselves. So that’s freeing because you don’t need to spend money on stuff to impress people you don’t even like.
10. Be wealthy, not flashy. When most people say that they want to be a millionaire, what they mean is they want to spend a million dollars, which is the opposite of being a millionaire. But most people judge how successful they are on how much money they spend, and how flashy their stuff is. But true success and true wealth are measured in freedom.
11 .Be frugal. Shocker, right? Building wealth has very little to do with how much money you make and almost everything to do with your savings. Right now, a lot of people only save for specific things. They save for a house, they save up for a car, for a vacation, whatever it is. But it’s important to save just for the sake of saving. You don’t need something that you’re saving up for. You’re saving up because that’s what’s gonna buy your freedom, that’s what’s gonna buy options, that’s what’s gonna buy memories. It’s saving money not spending it because you know that stuff won’t make you happy.
12 .Never tell me the odds. You know, the odds are quite interesting. The odds of making money in the stock market are 50/50 over one day, 66% over one year, 88% over 10 years, and 100% over 20 years. This just shows the importance of being in the market for a long time, taking advantage of that compound interest, and not freaking out when the market goes down or trying to time it. Just try to be in the market and continually put more in over a long period. That’s how you’re guaranteed to make money.
13. We suck at telling our future.
Most people stick with the job they chose when they were trying to go to school at 18. But the odds of picking a job that’s gonna be fulfilling, that you’re gonna care about and enjoy going to work and enjoy every day for the next 40 years are astronomically low. That’s because we can’t tell what the future holds.
I used to have five-year plans and ten-year plans, and now I don’t plan past about six months. If something’s not fulfilling you and you’re just doing it because that’s what you’ve done in the past, it’s not a good reason to do it. It might be time to make a shift and see what you can change so that you’re not stuck doing this thing you don’t like doing for the rest of your life.
14.Not all prices are on the label. Like I said earlier, there’s like a 100% chance of making money if you invest in the stock market over 20 years, and the historical average is around 11% per year. However, that money does not come free. There is a fee you have to pay, but that fee is not money; it is volatility and uncertainty.
This can be powerful to understand, especially with everything that’s going on right now. When you see the market dip 20% and you lose 20% of your money, that can be scary. Unless you look at it as “This is the fee. If I can stick through this, this is what’s gonna make me money in the long term.” Instead of people who can’t handle it and they sell and get out of the market, you have to realize that that stress, that uncertainty, that worry, that is the price for the returns you’re gonna make.
15.You are not me. That’s kind of obvious, and congratulations to you. But we often look at people giving financial advice, and a lot of it. This will equal this; this will be a good decision. If you invest your money this way, it’ll be a good decision. That’s not necessarily true. We have to be very careful who we listen to.
When you’re giving financial advice to an 18-year-old as opposed to a 30-year-old who’s just starting a family as opposed to a 50-year-old who’s getting ready for retirement, a decision that would be great for one person would be a horrible decision for somebody else. Realize that I’m not you and the other people you listen to, you have to take it with a grain of salt and adapt it to your circumstances because every circumstance is different.
In conclusion, these 15 lessons from “The Psychology of Money” have reshaped my financial perspective. They remind me that financial decisions are a blend of luck and risk, emphasizing the importance of having “enough.” Compound interest and the long-term view have become my allies. I’ve learned to plan for the unexpected, prioritize freedom, and understand that material possessions don’t impress others as much as they do me. Avoiding unnecessary risks, embracing calculated ones, and practising delayed gratification are key principles. I now focus on simplifying my investment approach. These lessons guide me towards a more secure and mindful relationship with money.
I’ve got a confession to make: I’m completely obsessed with those “What I Eat in a Day” videos on YouTube. You know the ones I’m talking about, right? Where people meticulously document every morsel of food that passes their lips throughout the day and such good aesthetics.
There’s just something fascinating about seeing what others eat, and I can’t get enough of it. So, I thought it was high time I shared my “What I eat In a day ” – South Indian version.
Buckle up, folks, Fasten your seatbelts because this is going to be one delicious ride!
**Morning Dosa (Rice Crepe) Delight:**
My day always kicks off with a bang, thanks to my morning dose of dosa (rice crepe)! It’s not just any dosa; it’s the South Indian wonder that’s crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. Moreso, like my heart !!! I’ve got my dosa batter down to a science. It’s a perfect blend of rice and urad dal (lentils) that’s been fermenting overnight, creating that distinct tangy flavour. It’s like love at first sight and the child of a perfect union!! I spread out the batter on a hot tava, making sure it’s thin and even, and then watch the magic happen. The edges start to crisp up, and when it’s golden brown, I know it’s time to flip. The sizzle and that irresistible aroma make mornings worth waking up for. It’s my drug , figuratively and literally!! But, I’m no purist; I love experimenting with dosa fillings. My personal favourite is a potato masala stuffing with a hint of spice. The dosa, crispy yet yielding, wraps around the spicy filling like a warm hug on a cold winter night.A dollop of coconut chutney and a drizzle of sambar (a spicy lentil-based soup) complete the picture. There’s something about the combination of flavours and textures that puts me in a good mood every day!
**Lunch: Rice, Dal (Lentil Curry), and Salad Sensation:**
Lunchtime is when I aim for a perfect balance. I prepare a generous serving of fluffy white rice. That’s my canvas. On one side, I ladle out some piping hot dal (lentil curry), usually made with toor dal or moong dal. The subtle spices and herbs in the dal infuse the entire plate with warm comfort. It’s my comfort food, especially when I am working and I don’t have time to prepare food. It’s my go-to meal. But it’s not all about indulgence. I always add a side of fresh, crispy salad. A mix of colourful vegetables like tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots. Toss in some greens for good measure – lettuce, spinach, whatever I have on hand. It’s all about that crunch and the refreshing contrast to the hearty dal and rice.
For a little extra flair, I might sprinkle some toasted cumin seeds or garnish with cilantro. It’s the kind of meal that makes you feel nourished and content without feeling weighed down.
**Dinner: Roti (Indian Flatbread) with Kadai Chicken :**
Dinner is when I take a different route, often in the form of roti (Indian flatbread) paired with a spicy, flavorful kadai chicken. Roti is my canvas this time. I roll out the dough, making sure it’s just the right thickness, and then cook it on a hot tava until it puffs up like a balloon.
The star of the dinner show, though, is the kadai chicken. This dish is a blend of tender chicken pieces cooked with tomatoes, bell peppers, onions, and a myriad of spices. The flavours are a rollercoaster ride for the taste buds. It’s a fiery combination that I adore. It’s amazing how the simplicity of roti can be a perfect partner for the bold flavours of this dish.
Dinner is a bit more indulgent, but that’s what makes it a delightful way to wrap up the day.
In between meals, I like to keep things light with some healthy snacks. Nuts, fruits, or maybe some yoghurt are my go-to. I’m not one to shy away from a bit of dark chocolate if I need a little pick-me-up.
**The Sweet Endings:**
I do have a sweet tooth, so no day is complete without a little indulgence. It might be a piece of homemade chocolate chip banana bread or a scoop of creamy vanilla ice cream. Sometimes, a bowl of fresh fruit with a drizzle of honey does the trick. It’s a sweet ending to a day filled with deliciousness.
I’ve always believed that food is not just about fueling the body; it’s about feeding the soul. Each meal is a chance to savour the flavours, textures, and love that goes into preparing it. What I eat in a day is a reflection of my ever-evolving culinary journey. It’s a mix of comfort, experimentation, and sheer enjoyment.
So, there you have it, a sneak peek into what I eat in a day. It’s a mix of tradition and experimentation, comfort and spice, and a whole lot of flavour. Whether it’s the comforting dosa (rice crepe) in the morning, the balanced lunch, the indulgent dinner, or the sweet endings, each meal has its special place in my heart.
And as my obsession with “What I Eat in a Day” videos continues, I can’t help but appreciate the diversity of our food choices. Food truly is a universal language, and sharing our daily food adventures is a delightful way to connect. So, what’s on your plate today? Share your food journey, and let’s celebrate the deliciousness of life together!
My journey with Poestory Porium began as an exciting side hustle, driven by the hope of earning some extra money. Little did I know that it would become a test of perseverance, creativity, and resilience.
When I embarked on this venture, it was with grand visions of monetizing my passion for storytelling. After all, who doesn’t love a good story? I imagined a bustling online platform where people from all walks of life would come together to share their tales, their narratives, and, in return, we’d all benefit from the riches of the written word. I saw it as an opportunity to engage with fellow storytellers and, ideally, turn my passion into a source of income.
But the reality has been quite different from my initial expectations. Poestory Porium, though fueled by my enthusiasm and dedication, hasn’t managed to churn out the profits I had hoped for. In the world of side hustles, where some individuals seem to strike gold almost effortlessly, my journey has been a constant battle.
I’ve spent countless hours curating and promoting content, investing in website development and marketing, and trying to foster a vibrant community of storytellers. And while there have been moments of joy, pride, and camaraderie, the financial success I initially aspired to has proven elusive.
Perhaps the most challenging part of this journey has been dealing with the persistent feeling of discouragement. It’s disheartening to watch others seemingly achieve overnight success in their side hustles while you continue to toil away in relative obscurity. This constant struggle can lead to self-doubt and second-guessing, wondering if it’s all worth it.
The truth is, it’s been a humbling experience. But as I reflect on this journey, I realize that Poestory Porium has brought something far more valuable into my life than just monetary gains. It has given me the gift of resilience and the strength to persevere, even when the going gets tough.
I’ve connected with an incredible community of storytellers, each with their unique perspectives and tales to share. The feedback and encouragement I’ve received from this community have been a constant source of inspiration. Poestory Porium has also become a platform where creativity knows no bounds. The stories that have been shared, the art that has been created, and the emotions evoked through words have been truly priceless.
The side hustle journey has taught me that success is not solely defined by financial gain. It’s about the passion, the connections, and the personal growth that happens along the way. Poestory Porium has become a labour of love, and the satisfaction of seeing writers and readers come together to explore the beauty of storytelling is a reward in itself.
Don’t get me wrong; I still have dreams of turning this side hustle into a lucrative venture. But I’ve come to realize that success in the world of entrepreneurship and side hustles is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s about adapting, learning from failures, and constantly evolving.
So, to those who, like me, started a side hustle with dreams of quick financial success, I say this: it’s okay to be patient, to adapt, and to find fulfilment in the journey itself. Poestory Porium has taught me that success is not measured solely in dollars and cents but in the impact we have on others and the joy we find in our endeavours.
In conclusion, my journey with Poestory Porium may not have led to the financial success I initially aimed for, but it has been a deeply rewarding and enlightening experience. This side hustle has taught me the importance of resilience, passion, and the incredible power of a supportive community. While I may not have achieved my initial financial goals, the personal growth and fulfilment I’ve gained from Poestory Porium have been priceless. It’s a reminder that success comes in many forms, and sometimes, the journey itself is the greatest reward.
Hello, fellow bloggers! I hope you are doing better than me. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride for me lately, and I just needed to express my frustration about the declining views on my WordPress blog. So, let’s get personal and dive into my blogging journey.
You know, there was a time when my blog was flourishing. I started publishing, and within a few hours the notifications started coming in. I felt like I was on top of the world, and my confidence soared. But now, it is a different story. That information has become elusive, and I’m left wondering if I’m doing something terribly wrong.
First, let me address the elephant in the room: Is it just me, or has blogging lost its allure? Well, maybe it’s a little bit of both. The digital landscape has evolved very rapidly, and it’s not the same as it was when I started. Competition is fierce, and readers’ attention spans have greatly shortened. It’s like trying to stand out in a crowded room where everyone is shouting.
I’ve tried everything I could think of. I’ve changed up my posting schedule, experimented with different content, and even dabbled in SEO. It seemed to work for a while, but then, it all went haywire again. It’s like playing a never-ending game of trial and error, and it’s seriously frustrating.
I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. In the blogging community, there is a sense of solidarity in our struggles. I have talked to other bloggers and many of them are facing the same problem. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone, but it’s also frustrating to see so many talented writers struggling to make their voices heard.
What makes it even more confusing is that there doesn’t seem to be any straightforward solution. It’s like trying to crack a code that keeps changing. What worked last year may not work today. To say the least, it’s making me feel ignorant and frustrated.
But despite all the challenges, there is something about blogging that keeps drawing me back. Perhaps it’s the thrill of connecting with readers, the joy of expressing your ideas, or the satisfaction of seeing your ideas come to life on screen. It’s a passion that’s hard to give up, no matter how frustrating it may be.
So, as I embark on this tumultuous journey of blogging with sinking thoughts, I can’t help but wonder if there’s a silver lining waiting for me. Maybe it’s about embracing changes, finding new ways to engage your audience, and never giving up. After all, it’s not just about the numbers; It’s about the love of writing and sharing your thoughts with the world.
In the end, I may be clueless and frustrated, but I’m not ready to give up just yet. Blogging may have lost some of its allure, and the struggle is real, but it’s a passion that runs deep. And who knows, maybe one day, I’ll crack the code, and those visions will start coming again. Until then, I’ll keep typing, hoping for that defining moment. Dear readers, thank you for being a part of my journey and giving me personal insight into my WordPress problems.
Life has an uncanny way of throwing curveballs our way when we least expect them. After a heart-wrenching breakup, I found myself navigating the choppy waters of the dating world once again. Little did I know that this wild journey would introduce me to someone who would make my heart race, even if it was just for a hot minute. Our paths crossed on Bumble, of all places, and that’s where the rollercoaster ride of emotions began.
Our story kicked off like any other in this digital age, with a swipe right and a whole lot of hope. Those early conversations were stilted and awkward, just like any online dating encounter. But as time marched on, something magical started to brew.
Late-night chats soon became the norm, and I found myself eagerly awaiting our nightly rendezvous. Our conversations flowed effortlessly, without the obligatory small talk that usually plagues these online encounters. We shared stories, dreams, and secrets, and I couldn’t help but feel myself drawn deeper into this stranger on the other side of the screen.
Before I knew it, I was head over heels, genuinely liking him. His sense of humor, his zest for life, and the way he hung on to every word I said, it all made him incredibly endearing. In those late-night conversations, my heart started to thaw, and I felt that elusive spark of connection and possibility, a feeling that had been absent from my life since my breakup.
Although we never explicitly defined our relationship or made any promises, the feelings I had for him were undeniable. The ambiguity of it all added a dose of excitement to the mix. We were two people standing on the brink of something special, and it was exhilarating.
But, as life often does, it took a detour down Cruelty Street. He began to vanish from my life, as if our connection had been a fleeting dream. Our late-night conversations grew sparse, and the buzz of excitement that had once filled my heart turned into a dull, persistent ache.
I was left bewildered, trying to make sense of what went wrong. Why did he, someone who seemed so promising, begin to fade from my life? The answer remained elusive, but the result was clear – he was slipping away, and I was left grappling with emptiness and unanswered questions.
I understood that without any formal commitment, he was free to make his choices, just as I was. Modern dating is a complex, uncertain world, and we were no exception. Yet, my heart was not privy to the rules of modern dating. It was a tangled mess of emotions, caught between the freedom to explore and the hope for something deeper.
As I reflect on those days, I’m reminded of how fragile our hearts can be, and how love can be a capricious beast. My heart had dared to open up, to hope and dream, and to genuinely like someone. Yet, the absence of a formal commitment didn’t diminish the sting of his disappearance. It felt like I had left a part of myself hanging in the balance, and letting go was far from easy.
So, this is my goodbye to those unrequited feelings. It’s a nod to their presence and the role they played in my life. It’s not a bitter farewell, not a send-off with a grudge. Instead, it’s a bittersweet adieu, a tribute to the moments we shared and the emotions we stirred in each other.
I have no regrets about opening my heart. In fact, I’m thankful for the experience. It served as a reminder that love is worth the risks, even if it concludes with unreciprocated feelings. It taught me that vulnerability is a strength, and the ability to feel deeply is a beautiful part of being human.
As I say farewell to these feelings, I carry the lessons from this chapter with me. It reminds me that love is often unpredictable, free from rhyme or reason. It doesn’t always fit within our expectations or timelines. Sometimes, it’s just a fleeting moment, a beautiful encounter that leaves an indelible mark on our hearts.
Looking ahead, I’ll hold those late-night conversations dear, treasuring them as part of my journey. I know that this is just one chapter, not the end of my story. And as I move forward, I’ll take with me the hope that someday, I’ll meet someone who truly values the genuine connection I have to offer. Someone who reciprocates the feelings and is ready to explore the potential for something profound. Until that day comes, I’ll embrace the capricious nature of love and the unpredictable, sometimes painful, journey it takes us on.
So long, unrequited feelings. You were an integral part of my journey, and I’ll forever remember the moments we shared. In the grand mosaic of life, you were a thread, adding depth and complexity to my story.
I know I am not making any sense, and most of my blogs are still there! But there are a few that have disappeared from the face of the internet. It had to! I just felt it wasn’t me anymore! I took a lot of time to decide where I wanted to go with this blog, and I have understood that I want to stick to poetry and story times! Occasionally, I will share productivity tips and that side of the genre. But if you do want that, you can follow me on Medium: https://medium.com/@poestoryporium.
Why did I not relate to that content anymore? Honestly, it was the burnout and not being satisfied with whatever I wrote, and I could see people not liking that style of writing.
I started getting overwhelmed, but it was clear in my blogs. It was half-baked goods, figuratively and literally, but I still love some posts I wrote during that period. I feel like nobody talks about the toll on ourselves when we continuously create content. So I decided to sit and think. More like rebranding myself. And understand the shift in personal interest and focus. After all this, I concluded that I needed a clean slate. A slate where It just allowed me to be me.
Another thing that kept bothering me was, was I revealing too much? What if someone could find my personal information or if there were any potential privacy breaches that I was exposing in my blog? I kid you not, I went and reread all my blogs just to make sure. I’m just being paranoid, I know, but something felt very wrong with all my writing and my posts.
I understood that my posts weren’t in terms of the quality that I usually write, and yeah, there was quantity but not quality. So here, I will be focusing on both quality and quantity.
I went through other blogs and other famous blogger websites, and I understood that they kept a professional tone. I tried, you know, and I successfully failed. I want to keep it personal and informal. But if you do want that, you can check out my Medium page. I want my blog to be cohesive, if that makes sense. I don’t want to post content for the sake of getting views. I don’t understand SEO and stuff, and I have tried to make content using all those parameters, but I failed. I was chasing my blog to be a bestseller, and in that process, I forgot my passion for writing. Now what are the plans for this website? I am still sticking with poetry and long blogs, with poetry being my main niche. I will try to post every day, although it’s not a promise because I have my exams coming up. But I will try nonetheless. I also want to keep my blog raw, real, and authentic. So if you aren’t comfortable with my style of writing, you can unfollow me because it doesn’t make sense to stick with me. What did I learn from all this? Actually, I learned to not be harsh on myself. I also understood that my blog is a part of me; I can take inspiration from others but not take a part of them to get to my blog. So future content creatives make mistakes and unexplore uncharted territories because that’s the only way you learn.
So yeah, that’s it. I deleted 50% of my blogs, and I learned a lot. I also figured out what works for me. Do support me by showering me with your love and blessings.
In the vast landscape of online platforms, “Buy Me a Coffee” has emerged as a game-changer for creators, providing a unique way to connect with their audience and sustain their creative sparks. What’s even more fascinating is the story behind the platform and its founders, who turned a simple idea into a thriving community of support for creators.
The Birth of “Buy Me a Coffee”
“Buy Me a Coffee” was founded by two dynamic individuals, Jijo Sunny and Joseph Sunny, in 2018. The story begins with a shared passion for art and a desire to help creators monetize their work without relying on traditional advertising or sponsorship deals.
The brothers, originally from India, were no strangers to the struggles faced by creators. They had seen talented artists, writers, and musicians struggle to make a living from their craft. The idea for “Buy Me a Coffee” was born out of a genuine desire to empower these creators and enable them to connect with their audience on a more personal level.
Jijo and Joseph Sunny recognized the importance of direct support from fans and followers. They believed that when people enjoy someone’s work, they should have an easy way to show their appreciation and contribute to the creator’s success. This belief led to the creation of “Buy Me a Coffee.”
The platform’s concept was elegantly simple: instead of buying a creator a coffee, you could “buy” them a digital coffee, which represented a small monetary contribution. This concept transformed the way creators could monetize their content, allowing them to receive direct support from their community.
Building a Community
One of the most remarkable aspects of “Buy Me a Coffee” is how it fosters a sense of community among creators and supporters. The platform isn’t just about financial transactions; it’s about building meaningful connections. Creators can engage with their audience, share updates, and express their gratitude for the support they receive.
Jijo and Joseph Sunny understood the power of community in sustaining creativity. They designed “Buy Me a Coffee” to be a welcoming space where creators could thrive, knowing that they had a passionate audience backing them. As a result, the platform has grown exponentially, with creators from diverse fields finding success and support.
What sets “Buy Me a Coffee” apart is its commitment to innovation. Jijo and Joseph Sunny continuously work to enhance the platform’s features and functionality, making it even more beneficial for creators. Over the years, they have introduced tools like memberships, where supporters can subscribe to a creator’s work on an ongoing basis, and digital downloads, allowing creators to sell digital products directly to their audience.
This dedication to improvement has contributed to the platform’s success and its ability to adapt to the changing needs of the creative community.
The $6 Gift: A Heartwarming Tale
Amidst the journey of “Buy Me a Coffee,” I had the privilege of experiencing the platform’s magic firsthand. It all began with a simple email notification on a sunny morning. It was from a friend I had met online a few months ago. The subject line read, “A Small Gift for You.”
Intrigued, I opened the email to find a sweet message accompanied by a digital gift card worth $6. My friend explained that they wanted to show their appreciation for our online interactions and thought I might enjoy a cup of coffee with them.
I was touched by this thoughtful gesture. It wasn’t about the monetary value; it was about the sentiment behind it. In a virtual world where relationships can sometimes feel distant, this small act of kindness bridged the gap and made me feel valued and appreciated.
Do check out her page – https://whycantibeloud.wordpress.com/ So thanks gal, I wanted to write this for so long but then life happens!!! Thank you, you officially gave me my first cup of coffee and earnings from writing
The Ripple Effect of Kindness
My experience with the $6 gift and “Buy Me a Coffee” made me reflect on the ripple effect of kindness. One small gesture can inspire others to do the same. When you support someone’s work, you’re not just giving them a financial boost; you’re validating their efforts and encouraging them to continue creating.
The story of “Buy Me a Coffee” and its founders, Jijo and Joseph Sunny, is a testament to the power of innovation, community, and a genuine passion for supporting creators. What started as a simple idea to help creators receive support has blossomed into a thriving platform that empowers artists, writers, musicians, and content creators worldwide.
Jijo and Joseph Sunny’s vision has not only changed the way creators monetize their work but also inspired a new era of meaningful connections between creators and their audience journey is a reminder that with dedication and a strong belief in their mission, anyone can make a positive impact in the digital world.
“Buy Me a Coffee” continues to grow, connecting creators with their supporters and providing a beacon of hope for those who dream of turning their passion into a sustainable venture. It’s a story that celebrates creativity, community, and the limitless possibilities of the online world, all while remembering the simple yet profound power of a $6 gift.
Wondering how you can support me? If you are a friend of this blog, show some love here.❤️❤️❤️🐼
It’s been an adventurous ride, hasn’t it? Six months ago, I launched into this journey known as Poestory Porium, not knowing where it would lead. Today, as I look back on the 37 posts, 3000 likes, 736 comments and a developing family of 717 subscribers, I can’t describe how I feel, I am eternally grateful for each one of you who has been a part of this enlightening experience. It has been a journey, a journey of highs and lows, a journey of scribbling down my thoughts and venting out, dealing with hate and getting overwhelmed with love, doubting myself to having people to turn back to and everything in between.
Initially, I used to do those month-to-month target blogs, setting goals and milestones for myself. But sooner or later, I stopped. It felt like I changed into being pretentious, focusing more on numbers than the genuine connection and love I received from you, my readers.
However, as I approach this 6-month anniversary, it deserves a pause and I guess a pat on my back I also need to take a second to celebrate not just the numbers, but the human beings behind them—, you guys! You’ve been my consistent guide, my cheerleader, and my core strength to keep going. For those who’ve been here on account from the start, you’ve witnessed the evolution of Poestory Porium, and for that, I’m without a doubt thankful.
This journey was anything but eventful and it opened a lot of doors, some to amazing people, others to vengeful hatred. But that’s where you learn, learn to pick yourself up, brush aside your fears and pick up the sword, in this case, your pen. Some days it became too much but I focused on the good side and I strived I guess and here I am !!!! I should probably write an ebook. What say?
We are diverting again !! My numbers on the outside look phenomenal but if you scrutinize my views, they have not grown as explosively as they did in the early months. Why you would ask? Burnout. Am I angry or disturbed? Hell no. I am happy with my blog. Life occurs, and I wanted a break. For nearly two months, I rarely published anything. But I want you to know that I’m back again, and I’m right here to stay. Your unwavering aid is what fuels my ardour for writing and sharing with the beautiful community. Why am I telling you this? Burnout is real and I don’t want to write for the sake of views because they wouldn’t reach your hearts. So it’s okay to play the long game, it’s okay to take a pause and it’s okay to not grow exponentially. It took me some time to realise baby steps matter and we take one day at a time.
What’s my favourite piece you would ask?? There are quite a few!!
Now the big question? How much did I earn??? I only recently got AdSense approval so not much, but I am happy!!! Poestory Porium isn’t about creating wealth; it’s about doing what I love and optimistically making a little money alongside the manner. Would I say no to money? Hell no!! However, if you do want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or share it with your friends!!!! )
So, as I celebrate this 6-month milestone, I need to express my innermost gratitude to every one of you who has supported me. You’ve been here via the highs and lows, and I admire your faith in me and my phrases.
Here’s to many extra months and milestones in advance, as we undertake this journey collectively. Thank you for not giving up on me, and I promise to bring you more heartfelt poems, stories, and musings. Still keeping it as real and raw as it can get !! Do drop your suggestions in the comment box, I would appreciate it!!
With a heartfelt thank you, Poestoryporium💛💛
In case , you are wondering where to read the previous milestone blogs , i m attaching the links under 0!!!! Do give it a read
I know I was M.I.A from writing and wordpress.Honestly the last month was haunting and filled with pain and loss . I found writing and publishing meaningless because every post I used to post , the hate comments would swirl in .
I agree hate is a reminder that you are growing in your writing journey but it got overwhelming for me
And I stopped writing. But my friends pulled me out of that spiral and I am so grateful that I have such amazing people.
So now I have decided to give the torch to you , just remember your aren’t alone…
Alright, let’s talk real stuff. We’re in this digital jungle, and hate comments? Yeah, they’re like the gnarly thorns in our social media journey. But you know what’s wild? I managed to spin those hate bombs into something kinda beautiful. Buckle up, because I’m about to share my story of how I danced through the storm of negativity and turned those hate comments into my personal boosters.
Was it easyyy??? Hell Nooo
**Facing the Hate Tornado:** Picture this: your phone buzzes, and you check to find a hate comment. Bam! It’s like getting a slap from the universe. My first hate comment hit like a freight train to the soul. The venomous words made my confidence take a nosedive. Sleep? Nah, it was a VIP ticket to the land of overthinking. But guess what? I wasn’t the only warrior in this battle, and that’s kinda comforting yet equally disturbing.
**Bouncing Back with Resilience:** So, I had a choice to make. Was I gonna let some keyboard warrior determine my self-worth? Heck no! I decided to rock emotional armor like a boss. I mean, everyone’s entitled to their opinion, even if it’s dipped in bitterness. Coping? Yeah, self-care rituals became my go-to. Meditation? More like daily therapy. Oh, and mentors who’d faced the same crap? They were my Jedi council.
**Fueling Up on Hate (Yeah, Really):** This might sound insane, but I flipped hate into rocket fuel. I mean, who doesn’t wanna prove haters wrong? Their toxic comments lit a fire under me. I transformed those words into my secret weapon for success. And you know what’s sweet? Seeing them squirm as I crushed my goals. It’s like giving negativity a one-way ticket to oblivion.
**Finding Me in the Rubble:** It’s nuts, but hate comments can kinda be like a mirror. They show you stuff about yourself you didn’t even know was there. I decided to dive into this chaos and ended up on a self-discovery bender. Yeah, it hurt, diving into my own insecurities, but the result? Uncovered strengths I never saw coming. It’s like hate turned into a personal growth jackpot.
**Unleashing My Inner Crusader:** Guess what? Hate had a side effect I never saw coming. It sparked a rebellious fire in me. Suddenly, I wasn’t a passive bystander; I became a voice for change. My platform became a fortress against negativity, shining a light on how those toxic comments mess with our heads. Turning the tables? That’s what empowerment feels like.
**My Crew of Survivors:** In the midst of the chaos, I found a tribe of fellow survivors. They knew the sting, the punch, and the gut-wrenching feeling of hate. Sharing our battle stories was like a lifeline. We formed this band of warriors, united by our scars and stories. Turns out, connecting with others who’ve been through the same mudslide is like finding gold in the wreckage.
**Chasing Rainbows in Thunderstorms:** Keeping a sunny outlook when surrounded by hate storms was like acrobatics for the soul. But, I figured out the trick: focus on the good stuff. Gratitude? Oh yeah, it became my secret weapon. Genuine followers, the love they shared—it was like anti-hate armor. Mindfulness? It’s like catching rainbows in the middle of a thunderstorm.
**Conclusion:** So here’s the deal, amigos. Hate comments? They’re like mosquitoes in the summer—annoying, but you don’t have to let them ruin your picnic. My journey through the hate vortex taught me resilience, showed me corners of myself I’d never explored, and turned me into a crusader for positivity. The digital world is a jungle, but you? You’re the king or queen of your jungle. You can flip hate on its head, dance through the storm, and come out stronger on the other side. Embrace the growth, soak in the lessons, and let those haters be your unexpected motivators.
What do you guys think !!!!!????
Comment down below www❤️❤️💙
Wondering how you can support me? If you are a friend of this blog, show some love here.❤️❤️❤️🐼
Hеaling is an intеnsе and transformativе journеy that all of us undеrgo at somе point in our livеs. Whеthеr wе arе hеaling from physical wounds, еmotional wounds, or mеntal еxhaustion, thеrе is outstanding еlеctricity and capacity within thе rеcupеration procеdurе. Throughout my personal healing adventure, I have encountered many quotеs that havе dееply affеctеd mе, offеring guidancе, consolation, and concеpt. In this blog, I would rеally likе to present somе of my favoritе quotes insidе thе hopеs that thеy may warm your hеart and guidе you for your pеrsonal rеstoration journеy.
“Healing isn’t a vacation spot, it’s miles of lifеlong advеnturе of sеlf-discovеry and sеlf-carе.” This quotе rеminds us that hеaling is not a quick fix or a givе up point that wе attеmpt to rеach. It is an ongoing systеm that rеquirеs ongoing sеlf-consciousnеss, vanity, and sеlf-carе. Each day givеs an opportunity for growth and hеaling whеn wе can monitor nеw layеrs of oursеlvеs and copе with our pеrsonal wеll-bеing.
“In thе dеpths of achе wе discovеr thе strеngth to hеal and upward thrust.” In our darkеst momеnts, rеstoration can sееm bеyond our rеach. Howеvеr, this quotе supеrbly еncapsulatеs innatе rеsiliеncе. It bеliеvеs that from thе dеpths of our achе wе havе thе capability to harnеss our innеr light and risе abovе advеrsity and in thе long run find hеaling and rеnеwal.
“Hеaling bеgins whilst wе includе our wounds with lovе and know-how.” Whеn wе rеsist or dеny our wounds, thеy rеmain and prеvеnt us from hеaling. This quotе rеminds us of thе significancе of acknowlеdging and accеpting our achе with kindnеss and know-how. By rеcupеration our wounds with lovе and compassion, wе crеatе a nurturing еnvironmеnt for hеaling to flourish.
Hеaling is not approximatеly еrasing thе past, it is approximatеly locating bеauty in wounds.” Our wounds, еach bodily and еmotional, еndurе witnеss to our fights and rеmind us of our еnеrgy and rеsiliеncе. This quotе asks us to tradе our pеrspеctivе and noticе our wounds as a badgе of honor as opposеd to a sourcе of shamе. It еncouragеs us to discovеr bеauty and know-how in our hеaling journеy and to includе thе prеcisе talе instructеd by our wounds.
“You havе thе еnеrgy to hеal, to еxchangе, and to crеatе a lifе packеd with joy and motivе.” This еmpowеring quotе is a gеntlе rеmindеr of our inhеrеnt powеr and capability. We need to bеliеve that rеcovеry is an intеrnal work and wе’vе thе ability to transform our livеs by way of еmbracing thе rеcovеry mannеr. It inspirеs us to harnеss our innеr assеts, crеatе plеasurе, and stay our rеal livеs.
Hеaling is a dееply non-public and transformativе advеnturе, . Thеy rеmind us that hеaling is not linеar, but instеad a gradual and multidimеnsional mannеr that unfolds through thе yеars. By accеpting our wounds, rеcupеration oursеlvеs with lovе and compassion, and acknowlеdging our inhеrеnt еnеrgy, wе can start a routе of hеaling that lеads to sеlf-discovеry, boom, and in thе еnd a lifе packеd with plеasurе, purposе, and succеss. Takеs it away. Lеt thosе changеs bе thе guiding light that brings consolation and concеpt on your hеart and soul as you circulatе forward on your hеaling journеy.
Do hope that these quotes help in your own journey ,serve as guiding light offering solace and inspiration.
This is one of my very old write ups but I love it even if it’s not perfect.
I wanted to kill a person. Figuratively of course!!! The hurt pain and emotions were all on their High and I felt anger like never before. I just wished him dead I guess but I wanted a solution. Complex human emotions made it worse. I wanted to follow the idea of “no hard feelings” but I found it so difficult to navigate. On the surface, letting go of grudges and moving on without bitterness appears to be a worthy endeavour. The truth, however, was far trickier and more challenging.
“No hard feelings” implies that we can let go of unpleasant feelings, setbacks, and complaints, relieving ourselves of a load of resentment. It entails the capacity for pardon and forgetfulness as well as the duty to prevent the effects of the past from tainting the present or the future. No matter how good the idea of “no hard feelings” is, putting it into practice is frequently simpler said than done. My default response to being harmed or deceived is anger, despair, or betrayal for most humans it’s the same. These emotions have a way of staying in our hearts and minds. The “no hard feelings” state is therefore difficult to achieve. For me, it was almost impossible. I read and listened. I honestly never understood how was it so simple. The paper castle of no grudges and letting go, I couldn’t build it. Am I built differently? Why couldn’t I do that? Will I ever be able to? Can I eventually be amicable with him? So many questions and I wanted answers. I started talking to people and everyone had the same thing to say !!!So here’s me giving you my version of no hard feelings.
We face challenges as we battle the anguish that has been inflicted on us in the early phases of trying to escape.
Avoiding uncomfortable emotions might result in downward spirals of resentment and sadness. We could initially need to travel in the past, repeat traumatic experiences, and feel intense emotions. With continual ups and downs, it can resemble an emotional roller coaster. Pain manifests itself in unexpected ways, making us doubt our capacity to actually advance. We can find it difficult to comprehend emotions at this moment. By attempting to let go too quickly or by not giving the grief we are feeling enough weight, we might question whether we are failing ourselves. This internal struggle can strengthen our resentment and deepen the cycle of sadness.
We may eventually achieve a degree of emotional detachment rather than genuine “no hard” states as time goes on and we gradually digest our feelings. This distance is more of a defence mechanism than a sign of healing. This occurs when we stop feeling emotions and defend ourselves against more injury. It’s crucial to know that emotional detachment does not equal meaningful resolution or emotional progress, despite the fact that it may offer momentary respite. Instead, it might be a sign of emotional restraint or a reluctance to confront suffering. Acknowledging the hurt, comprehending its ramifications, and actively striving towards genuine forgiveness and development are all necessary for meaningful healing.
Hard feelings are unavoidably difficult to achieve. It necessitates reflection, self-worth, and a readiness to confront past wrongs. Cycles may be present in the process of sadness, bitterness and even emotional withdrawal. However, it is important to remember that emotional detachment is not a substitute for true determination and healing. Understanding our feelings, allowing ourselves to grieve, and working towards forgiveness are all important steps in avoiding unpleasant emotions. It is an adventure in self-knowledge, development, and acceptance. Keeping these things in mind
When find comfort in genuine healing, we might expect to negotiate the intricacies of human emotion. Even if it can be challenging to fully realise the goal of no resentment, making a commitment to comprehending and managing our emotions paves the way for a more fruitful and genuine existence.
Wondering how you can support me? If you are a friend of this blog, show some love here.❤️❤️❤️🐼
There are good days, and then there are bad days. Days that exhaust you and make you feel at your lowest. Where you beat yourself up and let scars scar. On those days, I crave my yellows to remind myself that I am a yellow too.
What’s yellow, you are thinking?
(This was one of the terms that I learned from my YouTube dictionary as a hashtag.)
Ideally, yellow is a person you love, you label it as the person being your yellow. It’s inspired by the “Yellow” song by Coldplay.
“I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh, what a thing to do
‘Cause you were all yellow”
But the word has so many layers. Maybe today I m in one of those writing and introspective moods that I am here to put my chaotic thoughts into paper.
My first thought was why did they insinuate it with the colour yellow ??
Is it because it symbolises sunshine? Or warmth or a mixture of both.
Google had no answer and I realised it was open to interpretation.
So for the time being the definition for me right now for yellow is you. You are my yellow.
Because the impact that my yellows had on my life is significant because they made me a better person to be in a better place. So I want to thank them in my way, ie, by writing.
The yellows in my life, the friendships we have, are like vibrant colours that add beauty and purpose to my existence. They are like the indelible stains on my life, stains a reminder of things that I am grateful and lucky to have.
Among the kaleidoscope of friendships, I am blessed to have a friend who embodies being my yellow.
So today, it’s a yellow day, a celebration of being yellow, for having a yellow and the profound impact.
The light of positivity
You, my yellow, is a light of positivity, a bundle of joy even when you don’t feel like that. You have ounces of optimism inside you, even when you think you are pessimistic, it shines through you. You help me to find my silver lining and pull me out of my shadows. On the days I beat myself up, you remind me that the sun will rise tomorrow again and with it, new opportunities will come for you and you will find your spark again.
The warmth of my empathy.
You, my yellow, have an abundance of empathy. You have an innate ability to understand and share in my joys and sorrows, you being my safe space. Your compassion and no- judgement attitude has bought me comfort and also taught me to be there for others when in need.
The energy of adventure
On so many days, I would be just snuck inside my blanket reading, if it wasn’t for you. Your adventurous spirit is honestly contagious and I m not complaining. Exploring uncharted territories, trying out new hobbies, and your zest for life, you have motivated me to step out of my comfort zone.
The glow of support
Support is such a small word but it means the world to people. You bring that glow to my life, my support system.
How can someone provide such unwavering support? You believe in me, even when I don’t, you remind me to stop doing swot analysis and Focus on strengths and opportunities and work on my weaknesses while not being a threat to myself.
You help me to reach new heights and you are my cheerleader. Yes I do vision you wearing short skirts and carrying pompoms and dancing for me .
The beauty of authenticity.
You are unapologetically authentic, and effortlessly flawless in my eyes. And , no one can take that away from you. In the world of Barbie dolls , I am in awe of the person that you are, that sometimes ,i feel like you are A AI clone impersonating human like behaviour , that it scares me . But on most days I m grateful , grateful to see your authentic raw real self. I like honest people. And you top my list .
Why am I writing this? To celebrate your uniqueness. In a world that encourages conformity, you remind me to let my true colours shine.
You have your flaws too and I, sometimes, am fueled to murder you ,but you illuminate my soul. You have taught me more lessons than my school textbooks. You are my sunshine. So today let me be yours. I hope I brighten your day because, in the dictionary of life, I m very fortunate to have you as my yellow, my friend and I hopefully will love you forever.
So, my fellow human being. You are yellow too !! At least my yellow because you bring joy to my life.
What motivated me to write this?
This week has been chaotic for me, I am still adjusting and somehow, I didn’t find time to write.
Because of so many changes, I have been overwhelmed and I started to overthink. Not a good signnn!!!
And someone had to remind me that I m a yellow in their life.
Sometimes the simplest things said in the simple ways open up your heart in so many ways.
So this is an attempt to do that.
A simple writeup of me telling that you are yellow to me, to lift you on days when you beat yourself up !!
I will always be there for you through my writings.
So hang in there, my yellow 💛
Love you 3000
Sending lots of love hugs and positivity
Till then ,For more freshly brewed content ,do subscribe to my newsletter and also follow me on Instagram !!!
Hey !!! I know you read the title and have an idea of what I would be talking about—the number of views I got on my blog within 60 days.
My thought process right now is: Should I post it or not? Am I bragging? Will this give someone anxiety? Is it worth it? Is it successful enough to talk about? So, I’m incredibly nervous to put it out there, but this year I have been celebrating even my smallest wins as I want to be more grateful and not only focus on the big picture but find joy in little things. So I guess I wanted to share this milestone with you guys because you mean the world to me! It’s incredible to think that 60 days have passed since I started my blogging journey on March 12, 2023. As I mark my blog’s 60-day milestone today, I can’t help but experience a mixture of joy, thanksgiving, and introspection. I want to share my great points, difficulties, and personal development. I have thus far encountered this post With 440 followers, 13,268 views, 1,669 likes, 382 comments, and a supportive community, it’s time to celebrate the accomplishments and show my gratitude to all the incredible people who have contributed to this trip.
Truth be told when I wrote the article about my 30-day journey, I never expected April to go phenomenally well because I was preparing for my exams and I barely wrote anything except some old blogs that were already scheduled. Nevertheless, you guys surprise me!
The excitement of 13,268 watches :
I had no idea when I originally started my blog that it would become so popular in just two months. It is both thrilling and humbling that 13,268 people have viewed my stuff. It gives me comfort to know that my views are getting across to people and that they are having a beneficial effect. I am sincerely appreciative of each view, which indicates a person who has taken the time to read and discuss my ideas, and somewhere along the line, I felt this blog was my voice, which I lost along the line. So many of you reached out, saying that this blog gave you a voice. Which honestly made me cry.
Engaging with 1,669 Likes:
Getting recognition for the information I produce is one of the most satisfying aspects of blogging. The fact that 1,669 people have liked my pieces thus far is proof of the value readers find. For me, this added validation, which is scary, but it fueled my creativity and made me understand what people liked.
Creating Connections via 382 Comments: Comments are the lifeblood of any blog because they enable deep dialogue and the emergence of connections. The 382 comments that I have so far received have improved my blogging experience. Every remark is a reflection of a reader who took the time to voice their opinions, pose queries, or share ideas. You have no idea the joy you bring me! By interacting with you guys through comments, I’ve been able to create a sense of community and gain knowledge from many viewpoints. I’m appreciative of my blog’s interactive features and the chance to interact with such a wide variety of equally amazing people, and I’m grateful for having like-minded people.
The Influence of 440 Followers:
When I first started writing, I had no idea that I would end up with a devoted following of 440 followers, more like friends. Each new follower is evidence of how much people enjoy my material and how much they respect me as a writer. Knowing that there are people out there who anxiously anticipate my posts and actively interact with them makes me happy. You guys have developed into my family that supports me, and for that, I am tremendously grateful. You guys are now more than simply readers.
While recognising the accomplishments, it’s also crucial to recognise the difficulties and developments that have come along with the journey. It requires commitment, consistency, and flexibility to develop a blog. Can I call it a successful blog? I don’t know, honestly, because all that matters is you guys. It hasn’t always been easy for me to think of new ideas, use my time wisely, and take the odd criticism dealing with imposter syndrome alongside. But every obstacle has helped me learn important lessons and improve my abilities as a writer and content producer. I am always learning and developing, and I am eager to face new difficulties with renewed confidence.
Things that have worked for me till now for my blog :
1. Engaging with you guys! It’s very important to engage because old readers will always have your back.
2. Authentic original content: be the real you because originality can’t be copied.
3. Analytics: I am a number geek, so I love to go through my analytics to understand your needs and my blog’s demographics better.
If you want a detailed post on my strategy, do comment!
As I think back on my blog’s 60-day anniversary, I’m incredibly appreciative of all the love and interaction I’ve gotten. More than simply numbers, the 13,268 views, 1,669 likes, 382 comments, and 440 followers signify a community of people who have enjoyed and supported my writing. In terms of both my personal and professional progress, I’m enthused about the future and forever grateful. Here’s to achieving more milestones and forever uplifting each other!
And I am really sorry if this came across as a bragging attempt or if it caused any of you anxiety . I never intended that. It will eventually work out we just have to work really hard.
Sending lots of love hugs and positivity to all of you amazing people !!!!
For more freshly brewed content ,do subscribe to my newsletter and also follow me on Instagram !!!
Do share your thoughts as I would love to hear about it.
Hey !!! I know I have been missing, and there’s a reason for it! My exams have been going on, and I haven’t had the time to declutter my thoughts! But today is one of those days where I need to pen it down; otherwise, the dam of emotions would flood! So, I am at an age where people are dating or getting married. This is honestly weird because we saw each other do stupid stuff, and then you suddenly have a weird enlightenment bulb going inside your brain saying, “Congratulations, you have finally grown up.” But have I? I’m still coming to terms with adulting, and I am already in chaos. I have watched thousands of videos of ‘ That Girl and Getting Your Life Together” vlogs, but my life is nothing as aesthetically pleasing as theirs. Am I complaining? No Because I enjoy this chaos, honestly. It gives me a weird thrill to find and explore myself in chaos. I get a high out of it. And I am also slowly loving myself more every day. So that’s a lesson in itself. On the good days, I like the beautiful mess, but on the bad days, I ask myself so many questions. So what do I do to cheer myself up? I read my old journal entries! “On February 13, 2012, a young girl wrote in her diary that she would fall in love at the age of 21, among a lot of other timelines. She believed in Prince Charming and Cinderella shoes! Sometimes I am jealous of that little girl! Of how untainted and naive she was! This is true because the same girl is chuckling while reading that diary entry! She hasn’t found love, but somewhere along the line she even stopped believing in it.” This was one of the excerpts I read, and I have been thinking! I haven’t found love, and I want to! I want to feel the emotions and everything in between somewhere along the line, even the heartbreak, to know what inspired the great writers to write such amazing sonnets and books. Would my content be any different if I ever fell in love, or would I change? Does it make me creatively superior to romanticise about every aspect of my life; we’ll probably find out in the future, hopefully. So, now, the love gods, please have mercy and send me my prince charming. I exactly know what you are thinking! She is desperate! No, I have reached my self-sufficiency level, where I enjoy my own company and am more than happy with myself. But there are days when I just crave that feeling of wholesomeness and attachment. Where do I reach out, to seek my Atlas, Noah, or Augustus? As a hopeless romantic, that feeling intensifies. Am I being weird ??? I have so many questions… According to my fictional romantic podium, they advise you not to search for love as it happens at the most unexpected time. So my next question is, “How do you know?” How long are we supposed to wait? Shouldn’t we just take matters into our own hands? Isn’t it much simpler? On a very random note, wouldn’t it be interesting if there was an alarm notification on your phone if you were in the near vicinity of your soulmate? Maybe someday it will be, with AI and stuff, matching humans based on all your preferences and ideologies and creating clusters. I guess that’s Tinder on the soulmate level. So isn’t love being duplicated or even coerced into an artificial setting?
I am going off track, I know! But think about it: from our younger selves to now, we have been taught that love is beautiful! But I blatantly disagree! Love is also ugly; it’s transformative and an uncharted territory. For each person, it’s a journey of its own. The twists and turns, emotions, heartfelt exploration, exhilarating beginnings, and profound depths of a simple yet beautiful connection It’s a poem in itself. Starts with self-love, as you have to be whole before you seek comfort from others. A plethora of introspection, healing, and cultivation, embracing strengths, and admitting your vulnerabilities often lay a good foundation of love as you seek contentment in yourself before reaching out to anyone else! Why were we never taught this? Our school stories started with Cinderella needing a magical wand to feel beautiful, but she wasn’t. She failed to see herself as anything but a person with low self-esteem and dependence syndrome. It’s weird how now when I look back at fairytales, they are a mess of their own. Why am I writing this? Because I know many of us feel the timeline is foggy, but it’s okay foggy, but it’s okay! You are way too amazing, and the other person is searching for you, I promise, or you can just take matters into your own hands. Love is a serendipitous feeling, and that encounter unfolds something extraordinary. It’s filled with triumphs and trials, compromises, and emotions, from intoxicating highs to challenging lows. You learn lessons, you make compromises you adjust as sparks aren’t everything to face storms of turmoil. It’s a catalyst for love and growth. It’s an evolution in itself. So your timeline right now may seem bleak, but trust me, it will be a testament in itself.
How do I know all this? Books and annoying love-struck friends. I have reconciled my faith in love, and I’m giving love another chance. Am I knocking on the door? No But I am also not putting a lock on my door. So this is where I tell you to hang in there and not get paranoid about your timeline of love. Because it will eventually happen. When it happens, you will have a high of your own. Till then, Sending lots of love and positivity.
For more freshly brewed content ,do subscribe to my newsletter and also follow me on Instagram !!!
I was deeply skeptical before writing as I know the internet can be a weird place but I wanted to because you are a huge part of my life, the reason why I m sane and still not so broken is because of you. So, you deserve the love and attention on my blog because you deserve nothing else. ( Mind you, I m very possessive about the content I put on my blog) So, my fellow human, Today is your special day and I just want to take a moment to let you know how special you are. I could get you gifts but I wanted you to have a part of me, a part that I am good at, ie, words. So I wanted to write this because, on days when you are feeling low, you can come back to this. Because the world may torment you to feel like you are worth nothing, but I will always remind you that you are my Helen of Sparta and I could start or fight the Trojan War for you. On a more formal note, first and foremost, I want to thank you for being my friend. You have been with me through thick and thin, and I don’t know what I would do without you. You are the one person I can always count on to lift me when I am feeling down and to make me laugh when I need it the most. Your unwavering support and kindness have gotten me through some of the toughest times in my life, and I will be forever grateful for them. looking back, I wouldn’t have survived my hardest days if it wasn’t for you. I know you see my vulnerability and brokenness behind the facade of sarcasm and annoyingness. I don’t even know whether it’s an actual word, but describing you through words is also difficult !!! It’s become too cheesy! But that’s what you get! But you deserve this because you are my hype brigade, if it weren’t for you I would never give the credits I deserve and I probably will die of impostor syndrome but you hold me gently and make me realise I m not the villain of my story. So today i want to remind you of the same . You have been through so much in your life, yet you always manage to keep your head held high and your spirits up. Your resilience and perseverance inspire me to be a better person, and I am in awe of your courage and determination. Whenever I am feeling lost or hopeless, I think of you and all that you have overcome, and it gives me the strength to keep going.
Another thing I love about you is your sense of humor. You always know how to make me laugh, even when I am feeling my lowest. Whether it’s a silly joke, a funny meme, or just a goofy expression, you never fail to put a smile on my face. Your humor has helped me through some tough times, and I don’t know what I would do without it. we have cribbed over guys and our lives and for all of that I am so grateful to have you in my life, and I can’t imagine going through all these moments without you.
You have never judged me for my mistakes, but you have always held me accountable for them. So , i want you to do the same for you once . See your worth because even diamonds lose their shine infront of you . I want you to know how much you are loved. You bring so much joy and happiness to those around you, and I am so lucky to call you my friend. Thank you for being the amazing person that you are, and for making my life so much brighter. I love you more than these words could ever express. Be a good friend And get me a boyfriend, for god sake !!🤣
I can go on and on, but it would be a bit too much and nobody reads for this long!! So I want to list 24 things for you to look back on when you feel low because you may see the flawed version and be self-critical of yourself, but all I see is an imperfectly perfect person who fits in my life perfectly as my jigsaw puzzle.
1. Your kind heart always shines through. 2. You make me laugh with your humour and wit. 3. Your honesty and integrity are unwavering. 4. You are always there for me when I need you. 5. Your creativity and imagination inspire me. 6. Your intelligence and curiosity are truly impressive. 7. Your sense of adventure makes life more exciting. 8. Your thoughtfulness and consideration for others are heartwarming. 9. Your positive attitude is contagious and uplifting. 10. Your beauty radiates from within. 11.Your loyalty and commitment to our friendship are unmatched. 12.Your generosity and selflessness never cease to amaze me. 13.Your ability to empathize and understand others is a gift. 14.Your strength and resilience in the face of adversity are inspiring. 15.Your confidence and self-assuredness are admirable. 16.Your hard work and dedication to your goals are admirable. 17.Your passion and enthusiasm for life is contagious. 18.Your grace and poise in any situation are impressive. 19.Your wisdom and insight always astound me. 20.Your willingness to help others is inspiring. 21.Your ability to forgive and move on is a valuable trait. 22.Your authenticity and genuineness are rare and special. 23.Your infectious energy and positive spirit are a blessing. 24.Your unwavering faith in yourself and others is admirable. These are just a few of the many reasons why I love you.( Also being too sweet doesn’t fit my persona , let me go back to being myself) You are an amazing person, and I am so grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for being you, and for always brightening my day with your presence.
For more freshly brewed content ,do subscribe to my newsletter and also follow me on Instagram !!!
It’s hard to believe that it’s been 30 days since I started my blog. In some ways, it feels like it’s been a lot longer, and in others, it feels like it’s only been a few days. Nevertheless, hitting the 30-day milestone is a significant accomplishment for me, and I wanted to take some time to reflect on the experience so far.
Starting a blog is something that I’ve wanted to do for a while now. I’ve always enjoyed writing, and I’ve always been passionate about sharing my thoughts and ideas with others. But for some reason, I never got around to actually starting a blog until now. Looking back, I think a big part of the reason was fear. I was afraid of putting myself out there, of being vulnerable, of being judged. But I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of holding myself back, and I was ready to take the leap.
The first few days of my blog were both exhilarating and terrifying. On the one hand, it was amazing to see my writing out there in the world, to see people reading and commenting on my posts. On the other hand, I was constantly second-guessing myself, wondering if anyone was actually interested in what I had to say. But as the days went on, I started to find my rhythm. I started to feel more comfortable with my voice, and I started to gain more confidence in my writing.
One of the things that surprised me most about starting a blog was how much I’ve learned in just 30 days. The technical side of things, like setting up a website, choosing a platform, and optimizing for SEO. There’s the creative side of things, like coming up with topics, crafting headlines, and developing a unique voice. And then there’s the community side of things which is my favourite part , that is , you guys!!
One of the most challenging parts of the past 30 days has been finding the time to write. Between my full-time job, my social life, and my other hobbies and responsibilities, it’s been a struggle to carve out time for blogging. But I’ve found that when I’m passionate about something, I make it work. I’ve been waking up earlier in the mornings to write before work, and I’ve been staying up later at night to get in a few more paragraphs. It’s been tiring, but it’s also been incredibly rewarding.I also would be lying by saying I wasn’t sidetracked by the hate comments , but you guys reminded me of going forward and stood as my pillar of strength.
One of the things that’s kept me going over the past 30 days has been the support of my friends and family. When I first started my blog, I was nervous about telling people. I wasn’t sure how they would react, and I was worried that they would think it was silly or that I was just wasting my time. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the positive response I’ve received. People have been reading my posts, sharing them with their friends, and leaving encouraging comments. It’s been a huge motivator for me.
Of course, not everything has been smooth sailing over the past 30 days. There have been times when I’ve felt discouraged, when I’ve wondered if it’s all worth it. There have been times when I’ve struggled to come up with ideas, when I’ve sat staring at a blank screen for hours on end. But I’ve learned that these moments are all part of the process. They’re the challenges that come with any creative pursuit, and they’re the things that make the victories all the sweeter. Why am I writing this ? Is it to rub it on your face ? Are numbers that only matter to me ? No ,I know the title was very catchy and selfish but honestly for me it’s not about the numbers or likes , but the community that I have build for myself . It’s like my safe and comfort space which I am very grateful for . This post for me is on the days when I am low , questioning my self worth and battling my insecurities because i tend to do that a lot . So I want to celebrate each and every milestone with you guys!!! Because you are my biggest cheer leaders! I remember journaling that nobody would like my writings but boy , you guys proved me wrong and that feeling is intoxicating and a new high for me . So thanku , On a side note i read 28 books from the beginning of the year .Do you guys want book recommendations or reviews , comment down below!!! And I know I am not active with my blog and this specific blog was written a long time ago i couldn’t post it because I am dealing with a personal loss. So i will get back to writing i promise when i feel better !! And one of my poems got published ( REAR VIEW) Here’s the link- https://wp.me/p6OZAy-1Q5y Do check it out !!!
For more freshly brewed content ,do subscribe to my newsletter and also follow me on Instagram !!!
Being in the 21st century, where everything is fast-paced, I feel like reading has been forgotten. Especially introspecting my life, I felt reading has lost its path, and what exists now is valorized reading.
Something like reading for the sake of reading
As we jump from one sensation to another, from one controversy to another, with an Instagram filter on our minds, this makes me realize that somewhere along the line I forgot to read and that a lot of other people did too.
We can blame it on our short attention span, but at the end of the day, we all reach out for something easy, short, and instrumental, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it because we live in perpetual amnesia that is triggered by the world being fast and urgent.
The constant feeling that I will miss out is something that triggers me to take my phone almost every hour, and it’s also something that has triggered a lot of anxiety in these last couple of months.
As I wrote down my thoughts, I figured I had given up on reading and writing somewhere along the line.
And this is an attempt to get back to reading.
If you, my friend, also gave up on reading, you can start again. I’m here to accompany you.
For me, the earliest memories of reading were when I was three and on train journeys. How dad used to get me a magic pot so that I wouldn’t be an annoyance
I am still an annoyance, but my love for books is something that hasn’t left.
Being brought up in a humble household, one of the things that my parents never said no to was books. I used to demand books as presents for every exam I passed.
I still remember borrowing books from friends and libraries and finishing them in two to three days because I loved the rush.
It came to a point where I was reading Jeffery Archer’s When the Crow Flies instead of my history books before my 10th board exams.
Do I regret it? Noooooo
The rush of having that imagination, the rush of going into a parallel universe where I portray the main character, seeing myself in situations, deciding what I would have done and what I wouldn’t, and complex storylines with spicy images keep playing in my head as a slow-motion movie. Enough that someday I could lend my brain cells to Elon Musk to make an extraordinarily brilliant movie.
All these emotions and memories are something that is beyond description.
Books have led me to a web of my past, present, and future, like an island universe that’s interlinked but not yet linked.
For me, a book does affect me; I feel pangs of grief, motivation, empathy, and all the emotions in between as the character develops. It is a small, intimate space of mine that nobody else has access to—sort of a mysterious realm.
Nothing is linear in life, and as life progresses, one of the things that I gave up was books.
Is there a specific reason? No
But I kind of discovered recently that one of the reasons why I had given up on reading was the anxiety in choosing a book.
The fear that I would miss out on this year’s nominations, what if it isn’t good, and this eventually felt like a job, not the one I liked, Going through reviews and feeding on people’s opinions got so tedious that for me reading lost its wonder in this process.
I missed picking out random books from shelves, going with my gut, and thinking it might be a hit. Even if it wasn’t, I would at least be able to take something away.
Now, this screams of slobbishness and elitism, but it is what it is: I was consumed by valorized reading, and I started mimicking other people’s choices instead of giving in to what my heart wanted.
Now, why am I writing this? Humans as a whole are very creative animals, and creativity being the buzzword in this digital era, I wanted to start reading again , be soaked in creative juices .
And I have started again, and the feeling is amazing—not bound by social pressures but doing something from a thick desire.
I don’t want to be a person who is limited to WhatsApp archives; I want to go beyond the perfect sentences and let imagination take its toll. And for this reason, books are my comfort space.
Feel sheer joy and delight, feel uncomfortable, have butterflies in your stomach, cry, and feel all the emotions as I turn every page.
I would say you also just need to give a short
I’m not going to preach a lot, but in the end, there’s so much knowledge to consume. Take anything—a newsletter, audiobooks, nonfiction classics—to feed your soul.
To bring calmness into this fast-paced life
To hold back and embrace emotions and to know yourself better, a book is all you need.
My current read is The ISIS Hostage by Puk Damsgard.
I’m ending this blog with a short poem I wrote on books.
“Now, it’s all being done in the past,
It’s all been written in the book,
and makes you think nothing ever lasts.
Maybe it’s something worth another look.
A string of words floats with fear.
And it encompasses all the emotions in this book.
Nothing is ever black or white.
Nothing comes easy off the hook.
I see people holding on to their past as a book.
Hating themselves more as they look”
If you have read till now, you have discovered my writing is as haphazard as it can get.
And that’s me, all over the place.
So do reach out to me and connect with me so we can share our books and recommendations and get chatty about it.
For more freshly brewed content ,do subscribe to my newsletter and also follow me on Instagram !!!
I know this was the line in your 4th grade notebook where you wrote “no one.” You used to hide in libraries and indulge in fiction, creating characters and storylines that were sometimes a bit out of the ordinary for a kid. That was the time when your English teacher told you you had a way with words; it boosted your confidence, yet you felt you weren’t like the other kids. You failed to fit in, and that made you terrified. Why am I telling this to you today? To see from my pov to see how far you have come and I am so proud of you. Every time you won, you topped yourself, or someone appreciated you, you couldn’t see what others saw in you. You always strived to be the best when you were already doing well. You only wanted to be the best, but sometimes better is okay and fine. So this monologue is to remind you of the tiny things you fail to notice with respect to all your flaws, which you are obsessed with in terms of improving. I am not saying that it’s wrong, but you need to accept yourself as a total package and not certain versions of you.
I know the world sees you with all your imperfections and flaws and is kind of judgmental, but I love the way you are—maybe more than you can imagine. I know that to reach here was difficult and realizing that you are actually worth something has been a long route, but you have made it finally. And I’m so proud of you, bruh. The girl who loves pyjamas and is happy to be stuffed in bed with some thriller novel and a glass of black coffee can be called mundane to the world, but you are happy, and that’s what matters, isn’t it? The way you care and are ready to bring the world down for the people whom you love is something that is small yet huge. The smile on your face and how your face lights up even with the tiniest compliments is something that catches my eye. The way you play with a street dog or a toddler, or the way you tease your friends, the way you laugh as if you have had an asthma attack, and all those facial expressions when you see the cringeworthy moments, I would say those are tiny bits of you that normal people miss. Maybe your best friend is right: you would never get a boyfriend because you hate cringy stuff, cheesy dialogues, and unnecessary gifts. But it’s okay. I know you believe in understanding, loyalty, and being with them rather than monetary items. You are hardworking and determined. Your ideologies and morals are the foundation on which so many relationships exist. The world sees you as an introvert, but only a few know the real you, and I am proud of you. You are perfect in all your imperfections. You fail to see what your friends see in you. You are so critical of yourself that you hold yourself to the highest level of accountability, and sometimes you need to let go! Maybe sometimes you don’t need to give your 100%; your 80% is more than enough for the world. Let yourself breathe, and do not confine yourself to the dictionary of life. Don’t go by the book to live your life. The words “success” and “failure” are relative. Give yourself a break too. You weave words in such a fashion as to form reality, portraying yourself as a wandering soul. searching in implications, to construct a paradise of your imagination. But amidst all this, you forget that you are human too! I can write about your shortcomings, but I don’t want to, not today. Because today is about celebrating the real you, the one with imperfections and flaws, and accepting you for who you are. So, my pyjama girl with a grumpy face, you are the best in my eyes and in the eyes of all the people who love you. Certainly you have had bitter experiences, downfalls, and days when you used to binge watch, have a book marathon, or eat like you haven’t eaten in days. But it’s okay; you have come this far, and I am sure you will survive the Rubik’s cube of life. Your’s lovingly, The girl who knows you in and out
For more freshly brewed content ,do subscribe to my newsletter and also follow me on Instagram !!!
I write poetry with a clear head, and my blogs are potentially written when I am vulnerable. Now, I guess I am vulnerable and overthinking, so that definitely calls for a blog. For me, writing as a memory is associated with my mother, because she taught me how to write, and so writing on this topic makes it even more difficult. It took me a lot of courage to start this blog, and I am exhausted and scared to put myself out there. The blog was an escape for me. Not to face the real world, I guess? This whole year was excruciatingly difficult for me. Because death came knocking on my door and it was to visit my close ones. I wish I could romanticise death as they do in movies and books, but I can’t! How do you deal with the anxiety and grief of such complex emotions? Every time I thought I could pick myself up from the ashes and patch myself up, it came knocking on my door again. Loosing people isn’t easy; you feel like it gets better every time, but boy, are you wrong. There’s no standard equation for dealing with death. There’s no right way to grieve. You eventually have to find peace, and sometimes the memories keep haunting you.
I had made peace with death. Until I saw it putting claws on my mother, That honestly scared and scarred me. Call it a privilege, but I never thought of losing my parents. I always thought they would be there as a constant with me. Even the thought of losing them never entered my head. And the last couple of months have been a haywire in themselves. I can’t describe the feeling of sitting outside hospitals, talking to doctors, and having to be an adult when all I want to be is a kid. But I knew I had to put the mask on, so I moved cities to be closer to my parents and made sure I was there for every hospital visit. It was frightening; every test result and every diagnosis was nerve-wracking. The number of experts we saw was insane. But I had to pretend I was okay because someone had to be strong. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have bad days, but I knew it would get better some day. So I held onto that hope. Hope has an amazing placebo effect; it makes you feel good. But it also helps you understand what is important. And I understood that my parents were my number one priority. Why am I writing this at 2:30 in the night? Because today we are back home, and my mother is okay, safe but not perfectly healthy, but I am grateful and not complaining. I feel a lot of emotions, and the past week has been anything but turmoil. And on those days, I am grateful for the friends I have. I was a planner all my life, but this experience put things in perspective for me. Why am I putting this out there? Because if someone reading this now understands the emotions that you are going through, it is pretty normal. sadness, confusion, anger, weirdness, anxiety, feeling left out and neglected, guilt, and being overwhelmed. I have been there, and I understand you. Do I exactly know what you are going through? No, because every person feels it differently, but you aren’t alone. On one side, I am eternally grateful; on the other, I am anxious too. But I guess that’s okay. But I have also noticed we don’t speak enough about these moments. We don’t let the world see how vulnerable we are as people. So let’s be compassionate about people and the times that they go through, because nobody knows what they are going through. I know it’s a dark topic to talk about, and I will probably wake up tomorrow morning and think why did I go dark again , but I want it to be out there !! But, I also want to celebrate the lessons that I learned through the friends that stayed with me and cheered me up. Because I would have been a disaster if not for them. Am I suggesting that this traumatic experience is something extraordinary? No, because even now when I think about what I went through last month, especially last week, it was traumatising, but it did make me stronger and a bit more mature. I also don’t know how to conclude on this because I feel like there’s no certain way to end things on topics like these. You just have to deal with it and figure it out, and even if you do, some days are just hard..
The thoughts keep coming back and everytime it’s much scarier but I also comfort myself saying , you are strong enough to handle it. You have people to rely on and you will survive it
Just like you my friend , who is reading this
I hope you don’t go through what I went through , but I also know if you did you are strong and I am here for you….
So, here’s something I wrote during that time,
“You are like an albatross soaring the high into Spreading happiness and wittiness spotlessly with, The dreams of an untainted, yet childlike innocent kid at heart The paper heart filled with art, Full of colours , empathy and thought A canvas to paint with so many feelings to express, Yet when i look at you everything else seem so bland Your light and smile hits people so hard That you want to reciprocate When the snowy numbness crawls on us You are the ray of light that i turn to, White salty tears make it’s final fall You become my tumbler You are the piece of my life that conceals the lifeless life , You are more of an anchor than a friend To forever and always till the end “
So stay strong and lots of love,
See you in the next bloggg;!!!!
For more freshly brewed content ,do subscribe to my newsletter and also follow me on Instagram !!!
This week was ideally one of my good weeks. This blog of mine took off really well, and I have you guys to thank for that! I had started blogging years ago and earned decent money from it too,gained a massive following but then I decided to delete it one fine morning.Yes I was dumb .But something in me broke that day.I hated that piece of me , I just wanted it to be erased and just like that my blog disappeared from the face of the internet and my life.
Everything triggered it, and I couldn’t handle it. People saw me broken and had so many assumptions. Some friends of mine even called me “dark and twisted” because my poetry genre was that. One day, it was just the tip of the iceberg when a friend of mine told me that I have two completely different personalities when it comes to the friend they know and the blog they read. I was so scared of people around me having opinions that I stopped blogging . Initially , i thought I would take a week off and get back to it .But whenever I sat down to write , i could see weird gazes and interpretations of me running in their head , some even vocalising it clouding the words and my emotions and I couldn’t put anything on the paper .I was scared , scared to be not accepted . And that made me claustrophobic, my own poetry made me claustrophobic.And I decided to stop blogging.
Now that I think about it, I knew it was immature of me to do that, but that 19 year-old didn’t know any better! Even people’s compliments felt fake and a conversation starter. They assumed I was too smart, but I wasn’t. I just had some teeny tiny creative juices flowing in my overthinking brain. Sometimes, I hate myself for that because I really want to shut my brain down and give myself a break too.
But now I have regrets. I have regrets about killing my baby when it was at its highest point. Regrets of disappointing lakhs of people , regrets that maybe my old blog would have reached at a height that I could never fathom.But looking back, would I do it again? Yes . A complicated answer for a very simple question .This “yes” has so many layers attached to it. The insecurities in me wasn’t happy with the immense response that it got. Even with this blog, the views, likes, and comments all seem so surreal as I have just started. The fear of being inside that glassbox someday is something that I am constantly working on, trying to not let it tackle me down again this time.I know all this sounds like I m selfish and all I care for is numbers . Honestly, no.I’m not a number person, but I do like to be appreciated and being acknowledged for what I write. Because growing up, I wasnt. Trauma does have a boomerang effect.I guess so !! The warmth of you guys relating to it keeps my juices flowing , sparks my creative wires, keeps me going.
Why am I writing this? Because today I felt the same thing—the fear of being judged for what I write? Would I be considered “dark and twisted” or am I mature enough? The overthinking went on overdrive till I started scribbling in my diary, and I honestly realized I couldn’t change the way people look at me. Some may consider me annoying, others too intellectual, and some crazy, but the real ones know me for me. Like me for who I am—and poetry is a part of me—this chaotic mess of words ,wittiness and emotions. And I missed blogging. Seriously, I missed writing poetry and putting it out there, and I guess it’s okay. Because this is how I am true to myself, by being the real me. It was so hard to stay away from all this for the past two years, and I also know for a fact my writing isn’t at its peak, but it’s okay because I write for myself;i m happy , in a safe space of my own as the perfect poetry for me is my own. Why did I crib so much today? Because today I had a conversation with my friend about how he missed my poetry and our open mics. He told me he missed my writing, and that’s when I opened up to him about my fears and the cycle of thoughts that led me to that standstill. He said I was an idiot, which I agree with, but moreso, I was too scared of being overwhelmed by people’s opinions and these rationalizations of the type of person that I was just because of my poetry, as I was used to being on the sidelines. It took me a lot of time to accept the broken, unbroken me, but I’m happy. happy to be back .
It’s so easy to fall into prejudices, and I just want to tell you it’s okay. But what’s more important is to pick yourself up and surround yourself with the louder voices of empathetic people who can shut the voices in your head. Because sometimes we do make dumb decisions, but what matters is how we deal with them afterwards and the choices we make to counter them.
Is it a philosophical class ? No , but I wanted to put it out there , I am not a perfect writer , nobody is . I have made dumb decisions and it’s okay .Just write for yourself , do what makes you happy . People can create illusions but what matters is how you paint them in your head .It took me a long time to figure this out . Letting go of all this wasn’t easy but i am glad I am painting my castle on my own .I am glad to have your back because I promise to be better.
P.s . Yes , this isn’t a typical blog format with a proper structure but Im happy with it nevertheless , the chaos in me is what comes on my blogs and thats what makes it real and me. I promise I wouldn’t leave you guys stranded this time.